Title: Strategies of Sexual Activity in the Adolescent Red-Eared Sewer Slider, a Doctoral Dissertation for the Natural Sciences faculty of Laird University, New York. Presented by Donatello Hamato and April O'Neill.
Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Pairing: Leonardo/Raphael
Rating: R for language and weirdness
Notes/Warnings: Almost none of the scientific "facts" in this story are true.
Originally written for Saiyuri/Fyrechylde.
Summary: Field study of the sexual habits of T.s. bipeda (red-eared sewer slider) in their natural habitat.
Introduction
The sexual mores of most turtle species have been studied outside and in during the last few decades, so what more is there to learn about the courtship rituals of mating pairs? After Wills and Marcus' foundational study on the bonding of breeding pairs in the species Trachemys scripta scripta (1978), the resurgence of interest in the reproductive behavior of family Emydidae, and the genus Trachemys raised almost as many questions as it answered. We know all too well some of the courting and bonding activities within the Trachemys family, from Trachemys decorata's tendency to take bites out of its mate's shell, to Trachemys scripta scripta and scripta elegans' well documented yen for interbreeding. The question is, then, why should these strategies have developed in the first place? Asexually reproducing organisms exert less energy finding a sexual partner, mating and reproducing, after all. As Martin T. Kardeskian says in his seminal Sex and the Single Cell: " This book is written in the conviction that the prevalence of sexual bonding in higher animals is inconsistent with current evolutionary theory." That is, there is no reason for mating pairs to arise, especially in species, like many in the Trachemys genus, where homosexual pairs often go through courtship and mating rituals before attacking one another.
The answers to this question are manifold and complex. Some biologists theorize that the effort put into sexual bonding provide advantages towards finding strong mates, and therefore has advantages in circumstances like vulnerability to enemies (Muller, 1993). Asking under which circumstances such bonds can and should be formed has lead to models with names such as Tangled Bank hypothesis, Red Queen hypothesis, or Muller’s Ratchet.
But these questions may not be answered unless we look at more than just specifically sexual reproduction. For this purpose, a recently discovered species of water slider, one that as of yet has no scientific classification but which will be referred to from here on out as Trachemys scripta bipeda, is of interest. This is because T.s. bipeda, although it appears to form bonding and mating pairs, is entirely made up of adolescent males.
I.
* REC [12/7/09]
"You can't be serious, Raphael. Anyone could wake up and come in."
"Scared, Fearless? It's three am. No one's got any reason to be up and about."
"Except for us. We're up. Mikey could be too. Don could be working late. Splinter could be meditating."
"You worry too damn much."
"You swear too much."
"I'll swear more when you actually fuck me already, Fearless."
"I'm only going to have sex with you if you promise not to call me that during sex."
"Oh, shut up already."
"-Mmph!"
"Mmmn. Heh."
"Jerk."
"-Augh!" Thud. "Hey!"
"What's the matter, Raph? Can't get up?"
"Oh, I can get it up, alright. Nn-Dammit, Leo, leggo of my hands."
"No. Come on, let it out of your tail already, and I'll show just what I can do."
"Not so worried about anyone showing up now, are you?"
"Shut up."
"Mmn. Make me."
"Do you really want to do this? Right here?"
"You're planning something, Fearless. I can tell. Spill. Spill right the fuck now. What the hell's that look for. You don't think I can get out of this and fuck you until you scream?"
"Hm. No."
"What do you mean 'no'?"
"I mean, if you can untie yourself I will be extremely surprised."
"Dammnit, Leo!"
Unique behaviors in a cohort of virgin sexual males of Trachemys scripta bipeda: Field Studies
T.s. bipeda is a species of water slider that grow to between 1.5 and 1.6 meters, standing on hind legs, as they characteristically do. Adolescence lasts from around ages 11-13 until around year 17, and is categorized by an increased desire for junk food, reality television, and an extraordinary sexual appetite.
Nevertheless, the ecology of the sexual generation is, except for a few lines of research such as that into the sex pheromone of female T.s. elegans (e.g., Marret et al. 1994), clearly unstudied-- unlike the morphological systems of other species in the genus. Before considering the way in which knowledge can be applied, however, that knowledge needs to be produced, i.e., basic research is necessary.
Field studies were produced for this dissertation on the southern end of the Manhattan area of the New York City Transit Subway system, which is one of, if not the major habitat for this species. Surveys were produced using audio and video cameras installed in area that adolescent T.s. bipeda frequent in order to as not to disturb the habits of the specimens studied. Previous observations revealed that male T.s. bipeda guard their mates after copulation, however they appear to take pleasure in "roughing their partners up" beforehand. Often this violent activity is preceded by displays of aggression, similar to other dominance battles between male members of other Trachemys scripta species. The violent activity did, at several points in the survey turn into less violent behaviors. These behaviors included use of ropes to tie one member of the pair into what may be assumed to be aesthetically pleasing positions, and the unorthodox use of a motorcycle.
II.
* REC [12/10/09]
"F-fuuuck. Fuckdamn it, Leo--! I'm gonna kill you."
"If you can untie your hands from the handlebars before you get off, I might let you get the first punch. I'm not holding my breath on that."
An engine revving. "-Aa! Le-it's too much. I can't handle-"
"I'm pretty sure you can handle anything I throw at you, Raph. Isn't that what you're always telling me?"
"I'm-I'mma kill y-Aaa!"
"Maybe next time I shouldn't tie your tail down. You seem to be having some problems there, Raph. What was that about being able to get out of 'any stupid bondage I wanted to put you in'?"
"Fuck you. Fuck you, Fearless."
"I thought I told you not to call me that." The engine revs again.
"-Aangh! Leo!"
Optimal mating theory: Results
According to Durwin (2004), the apparently arbitrary and strange antics of many courtship behaviors are signals for the females and evolved under cryptic female choice for reliable signaling. Unlike T. decussata (Harpold), and many other turtle species, T.s. bipeda show regular striking courtship behavior. Like fellow Trachemys scripta species, T.s. bipeda display certain specific sexual behaviors almost universally. While it would be interesting to know why some turtle species perform striking courtship behaviors but others do not, parameters like copula duration and activity can yield indirect evidence about the strategies evolved in limited genetic pool species.
Even pairs mating multiple times did not dispense with courtship rituals that include what appear to be verbal insults as well as martial arts sparring sessions. Since these rituals did moderately injure one or both member of the mating pair on seven of the 21 instances studied, a reduction of the mating rituals might be expected after the first few instances of activity. However, the moderate value theorem predicts that the average time spent on convincing a mating partner to return (Wynne-Barnes 1987) should decrease along with the average time needed for sexual activity.
III.
* REC [12/15/09]
"Hey, Raph?"
"Yeah?"
"Happy birthday."
"What are you doing?"
"... Trying to kiss you?"
"Let me see your hands."
"What?"
"Let me see your hand, so I know you don't have any damn rope in them again."
"You think I'd tie you up on your birthday?"
"Let me think about that. Yeah. I do."
"You're probably right. But I wasn't planning on it."
"Good. So now that that's done, I guess I get my birthday present."
"Yes, of cou-aagh! Raph, what the hell?"
"Calm the hell down, Fearless. Turnabout's fair play."
"Mmn~"
"Mmn."
Summary
From an organism’s eye view, a non-bonding mating pair should gain a two-fold immediate advantage over a bonded pair. Nevertheless, many species provide the option for a bonded pair. This so-called paradox can be rephrased as the question: Which strategy survives and proliferates? Specifically the T.s. bipeda, as a species with a limited genetic pool to draw from has chosen a sexual survival strategy that functions, via the moderate value theorem, as method of restraining competition for mates within a limited pool.
IV.
"Mutant turtles? What do you think this is, Ms O'Neill? A cartoon? And where's your research partner?"