Going back to LJ?
After a long while, I guess I decided to use LJ again.
This has been 24 hours since I deactivated my FB account. I realized when I have something to say, I would have instantly say something in Facebook immediately. May be it's kinda "withdrawal shake", but since my best friend decided I'm no more a best friend aside of acquaintance, I feel no use to share the nice things there anymore. If my best friend doesn't care, I guess there's no reason I should stick on FB any longer, no matter the number of my "friends" there. I also don't have anything to promo around, so I guess it'll be basically useless. Sure, it cuts a lot to a lot of friends or opportunities.
But honestly, who cares? You can have a lot of "friends" there, but sometimes you don't know what to expect from them. Your "so-called-friends", save some inner circles of mine, didn't show up or know what you've been doing in the events. Whatever we've done, it's like swept by a wind. Besides, lately I couldn't share my inner thought about things anymore in FB. My community got crumbled by bigots just because they can use a "mass report". A lot of masquarade of mine about how cute some cat videos just don't cut it.
For the newest update from me:
1) I guess I lost my best friend. He's been distancing from me, saying he doesn't know me anymore and from now on he might not want to know me aside of "acquaintance". What's worse, it's not "virtual" best friend, it's "flesh". So I got back to square zero and basically by myself.
2) I broke up. I did something bad to him and he doesn't want to be my partner anymore. The twist is... I tried to be his BF out of pity, so I guess I learn it's quite a bad idea to BF someone just because you pity them. Especially when you somehow still feel the scar of your first love that he himself doesn't want to be with you in the first place. I dunno what'll happen to my current ex-BF, but this way, I have made another cycle of broken-hearted story.
3) Aside that I can't have anymore cats to pet, I guess I don't have much emotional outlet. And since my best friend shrugged me off, I started to feel emotionally numb. When I broke up, honestly, I didn't feel a thing, as if, "What happens, happens". No crying, no angst, nothing. Sure somehow it feels something heavy inside, but in otherside, something is lift but still I can't feel any emotion to smile to greet this cloudy day (have I mentioned I love cloudy day?).
So that sums it up.