Update Time!
Welp, its been awhile since I made any significant posts so I guess its time for an update. Last time I posted I was having a pretty shitty day, but it all worked out in the end. Went to my arraignment and left with only having to pay court costs and no conviction. So now I owe the state some cash, but its a lot better than what could have happened. Thankfully, I've had a clean record my whole life. That's pretty much what saved me from a much worse fate.
Work since then has been going great, except for having shitty hours most weeks. Last week I worked every day of the week except for Friday, but the weeks before that and this week happening now has been very scant on hours. Thankfully I can take my time looking for a new job because I have this one to keep me afloat for now.
I'm also going to visit one of the MCC campuses sometime this or next week and find out deadlines for stuff and try one more time to get my ass a proper learnin'. I just gotta decide when campus I want to go to. Bradenton where most of the people I know that go to school go, or Venice where my brother goes and is the shorter drive.
I had a blast at Metrocon this year, made a bunch of new friends like Mike the Spy and Gimmick our Army of Two buddy, and Chris's woman Angela, and met up with some old friends like TJ from Darkside and Dakota whom I haven't really hung out with more than a couple times in the last few years and Liz, whom I haven't seen since last year's Metrocon. There were lots of laughs and good times. I had a blast helping Christie in the glow booth during the dances and raves. The coolest act this year was hands down Arc Attack. As soon as Mitch told me they make music with lightning I was fuckin' sold. Look 'em up on youtube if you get a chance, their sound is so-so, but its the whole presentation that makes them amazing so you gotta catch a video of theirs.
Aside from all of that its been pretty quiet, lately. Got a facebook update on my front page about Sonja being tagged in a new note/blog from Walker. I guess he and Matt have headed off to California and decided their last order of business in Florida was to talk shit about me some more, go figure. You know, I haven't been running around Florida demonizing Walker and Matt everywhere I go. Anyone that's asked me what happened between us I've been pretty fair and been leaving it at we had a severe difference of opinion that escalated. We had our fights and our arguments all over our goofy blogs and when it was done I left it alone and moved on. But for some reason they can't just let it go. Blog after blog throwing me under the bus with no provocation at all. Having stupid shit like magazines sent to my house once a month since May. I even see on Facebook Huan, one of our old WoW buddies makes an update and Walker comments, and when Huan asks if we're still friends, and Walker says that to say I betrayed all of my friends would be an understatement. But whatever, I let all of that shit go because I figured it'd be better to let them be childish about it and circle jerk with each other about how I'm the big bad villain or whatever they go on about behind closed doors when my name comes up. I wanted to take the Will Smith Mr. Nice Guy approach and ignore it. But it just bothers me too much that after being cordial at Metrocon and getting along the short time we were near each other, that they'd revert back to this needless shit. So here are the quotes he used to "summed me up". My responses will be bolded for the ease of the reader:
"I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this arcade!"
And Matt's input
Blood: Maybe cut himself once.
Sweat: That place was an oven 100% of the time, so sure.
Tears: Maybe he cried when he cut himself? Who really knows.
All in all, TILT was serious business, and you should have some gorram respect for your manager.
OH LAWDIE! NICK ACTUALLY -LIKED- WHERE HE WORKED AND CARED ABOUT HIS JOB HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES! As far as Matt's input, I've never cut myself over TILT, and I've never shed literal tears over TILT. Its a figure of speech, obviously. And before the responses from them roll in, I know that you know its just a figure of speech and you're trying to make fun of me. Durr hurr.
"I threw Walker's cup away to be a dick.
IF this is referring to what I think it is, which is me throwing away a used Subway cup that had been sitting in the back of TILT, I didn't know it was his until Matt told me. And then I said THAT as a joke. This was when we were all still friends. Hooray for context!
"I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think it's all Bender's fault."
Nope. Not what was said at ALL. Here is the context, and what was actually said. The context is this is back in January when all of this started, I was trying to explain to Walker and Matt that lately they hadn't been doing a good job at TILT anymore. Nick Bender was back in town and had spent a significant amount of time hanging out with Walker and Matt all three together in the store. What I said was, "I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think part of the problem is too much Bender." AS IN, too much hanging out at the job. A point towards that I made was that there was some crusty taco bell sauce that had sat there the night before from them all hanging out and eating taco bell in the store. To me, from my point of view, it made sense that those three hanging out together at work meant work wasn't getting done. More on that for the next quote.
"That's the kind of guy Nick Bender is. ... On a personal level? That kid is gutter trash."
This came about because of when I told Walker and Matt that I thought Bender hanging out at TILT was making them not do their job well anymore. Apparently, this all got turned into somehow everything was Bender's fault. Evidenced above by Walker mis quoting me by saying I said it was all his fault. This is what Walker actually believes that I think, or thought. And I'd put money down that this is how he conveyed it to Bender in the first place when they all started riding the Hate Nick Troyer train in the first place. So why is that bad on Bender? Well, it pissed me off pretty bad that Bender thought that I was blaming him for everything and was jealous of him just because he was told so, and never once tried to find out from me if that's the way it was. That really bugged the shit out of me, and made me say that. That's why I said that shit. Do I really think Bender is gutter trash? No, he's not. 9 times out of 10 Nick Bender is a good guy, a generous friend, and he's more than willing to help people out less fortunate than he. And he makes a living protecting the United States of America by serving in its Army. If I could go back, I would have probably chosen my words towards Bender a little better. And I apologize for calling him something so extreme like gutter trash. But at the time, I was pretty pissed at him for acting like that. It was pretty bullshit from my point of view. Obviously we don't talk anymore but I hope the guy is doin' good.
"Steve Snyder does his job. The rest of you don't!"
Uh... props to Steve? He did really well at TILT. The only time he left the place messy was when he was in a car wreck with Chris and was hurting. He handled customers really well and was eager to do extra whenever he could.
"I don't steal from TILT. Sure, I borrowed money from the store's safe a few times, but I ALWAYS paid it back."
Nope. What this is referring to is me using one, maybe two quarters to buy a soda I didn't have enough change for from the machine outside. Which was always paid back the next day. I didn't take handfuls of money from the safe unless I had to go buy something with the Petty Cash money for the store.
"Do it or you're fired!" - to cleaning up his own mess
Nope. This is from the holiday season of 2008. The pump for the puffer balls we needed filled up had gone missing, and Matt had spent the entire time on shift(in between customers) looking for it for me. The store had not been cleaned or anything all day because of it. I wasn't mad at Matt, because he had a choice of making the place look nice, or finding something that was important, and he chose to look for the important item. That's a shitty choice at work and I didn't blame him for it. I'm sure I came off like I did because I was upset and frustrated, but I understood that choice because I've been there before. I asked Matt, for the first and last time ever, if he would help Walker clean up a little bit even though he wasn't on shift anymore. He told me no, his ride was on its way and he'd be leaving soon. I told him okay, no problem and I asked Walker if he would clean up the -best he could- that night, since I also was having him pump up puffer balls, which he wasn't happy about already, and he responded that he would try. And, already frustrated and upset, I said "I hope so, or you might end up fired." Matt was right there and later told him and we talked about it and I apologized for being an asshole to he and Matt and went over one more time with Walker what of us from all of our bosses, not just me. It was a sour day but it had ended on an okay note with watching some Angel, or Buffy, or Firefly. I forget which we were on at the time.
"OR YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND SLAM SHIT AROUND!" - Angry after slamming shit around for a half hour.
Same day, but happened before. Like I said I was trying to get them damn balls inflated for the crane, haha. I couldn't find the pump, but I improvised and switched the tips of a different kind of pump so it could hopefully work. While I was searching for the old pump, I was getting shit out of my way. A mostly discarded piece of Wood that Mark and I were keeping in case we needed it, but never did, and also some empty boxes. In my frustration I was removing things placing things back into the tool box. Loudly. I handed the new pump and the puffer balls and asked him to fill 'em up for me. He threw the box onto the glass counter top he had broken once before. I said that quote and stormed out of the store like an asshole. This was also already apologized for and talked over that same night with the rest of the shit from the quote above. I never met a man alive that hasn't at one point been angry and frustrated. Sorry I'm human, bro. But at least I was man enough to talk to you and apologize about it. You know, almost 9 months ago when it happened.
"He's been a good friend to me for over a year now and that is no lie. But I'm not gonna bend over backwards for him either."
After Walker wrote his big huge blog throwing me under the bus the first time, I made a pretty long one in response. At one point I said the quote above. What looks like me saying I wouldn't ever help him out even though he's been a good friend, was me trying to say that I'm not going to do his fucking job for me. Because that's what started all this stupid shit in the first place, me feeling like he wasn't doing his job, and feeling taken advantage of because of it. What I was trying to say is that even though he's been a good friend to me, I wasn't going to bend over for him. The "backwards" part should have been left out.
"The glasses needed to be cleaned, so I drew CLEAN ME on it." - a foot away from the glass cleaner.
This isn't even a quote. This is just what happened. The Tekken screen was hella dusty and dirty, and after cleaning up several things in the store, I drew clean me on the tekken screen with my finger. The way I grew up, this is common practice. My dad used to do this to our cars, our tv screens, whatever. To get us to clean something. Its not malicious, its pointing something out and being somewhat lighthearted about it. I guess their whole problem with it was that I did that on the screen's dust when a bottle of cleaner was right next to me? Okay, fine. But the idea was to share the work load so one person isn't doing everything. I had just spent my day cleaning up over half the store's games up until a half hour of my shift was left. And yeah, I know one screen wouldn't have made a difference as far as the "work load" but I didn't think it'd be that big a fucking deal to point out a screen was dirty either.
"I can tell you I definitely didn't go through your e-mails. Do you remember how many times you've had to trust me with that password because I simply cannot remember its jumbledness?" - Shortly before MySpace confirms Nick Troyer used the e-mail to hack MySpace password.
This shit again. All I can say to this is that they changed the e-mail address attatched to the BSG myspace without having to go INTO my e-mail. Apparantly he thinks he is the only one gifted enough to do that?
"Tilt is NOT your toybox, Walker." - From the guy that took many, many toys from TILT.
We all took small stupid toys from TILT once and awhile. When we were feeling particularly silly we'd even play with some of them. They obviously weren't worth a whole lot, being cheep hunks of Chinese plastic. Matt and I used to throw handfuls of the bouncy balls around the store and run and go pick them back up. What the quote here is referring to is when we were all sitting around at Denny's, Walker took out a whistle that was in TILT(It wasn't even a prize of ours, it came in a pack with the air pump I bought because it was a sports package or whatever), and I noticed it as such and said that. I was joking around. I know I'm good at "straight facing" a joke and seeming serious until I laugh with the person and assure them I'm just joking around. Maybe I didn't do it that night so it was assumed I was serious? I don't know. I do know that I was somewhat irked that I found the remnants of a new TILT prize in Walker's room everytime I went and hung out with him in there. It seemed like he didn't care about moderation. And that's the part that ticked me off. None of us took toys or stock -all the time-. It was a once and awhile thing. Except for eating candy. We ALL over-ate the candy there.
"As you know, I now go through walker's room every time he's gone."
When I found a TILT basketball from the Rage in the Cage game in Walker's closet while he was in California for new years, that's when I thought he had been taking too much. Little toys and stuff were one thing. Small 2 cent chess sets made out of paper you know? Whatever, yeah? But this was too much. I didn't do anything about it then, because its a delicate situation. From Walker's point of view it wasn't a big deal, but to me as manager it was a lot more serious than a couple of little BS Chinese toys. So after he came back, when he went to work I'd take a quick look in his room to see if anything else showed up. I didn't go turning his whole room upside down like some pissed off parent. It didn't matter though, from Walker's point of view its the same thing. And I didn't blame him for being mad about it. Anyway, what the quote is from is when I did one day decide to be bold. And found in his dresser two STACKS of comic books from TILT. When I did that, I told Matt about it because I was livid. Matt's response to the situation(at first) was that he didn't approve of the methods, but understood that I had reasons, and that the find was quite a lot to take and it wasn't right. This, in my head, reaffirmed my right to be angry, and the angrier I got, the more Matt defended Walker. But before I was being out of line in the conversation, Matt for the most part agreed with me. So that's where that quote came from.
"I can't wait until you guys ever get a REAL job where you have real managers who..."
This was mostly directed towards Matt. Whose first job was TILT. The idea behind it being when Matt finally has to work for someone who didn't see him as a friend and wasn't lenient on the whole store like I was with everything up until the last moments, it would probably be a rude awakening for him.
So out of all of that, most of these "quotes" were out of context, misleading, or just wrong all together. What have we come away with out of all of this? That I'm like everyone else. Human. I've made mistakes. I get upset about things. Whoopiedoo. I understand I didn't always treat Walker with the respect I should have when all of this was happening. I understand sometimes I lost my temper. But I've owned up to those moments before, time and time again. And that's something Walker has tried to exploit to make me look like I'm some big bad atrocious villain of sorts. Like I'm out to get ya! And he wants to say things like he did more good with Nick Bender in two weeks than he did with me for four months. To that all I can say is I'm sorry I didn't know anyone who needed help while you were down here, man. The last time I had to drive a city over to help someone with their abusive boyfriend was when my brother Jordan and I went to help our friend Stephanie. And if I remember correctly that was before you moved in with me. I'm also sorry that when I'm in Sarasota, its not because I'm on vacation. I'm not coming here or returning here from "real life". Sarasota is where my real life happens. I don't have the privilege of free time to be able to go when and where that I please. I had responsibilities. That's not to downplay you guys helping people. You got the opportunity to do a really good thing, and you took that opportunity. There's no shame in that, there's nothing to make fun of you guys for in that. Or whatever. You did good. Grats. But I still believe that's a terrible comparison to make.
Maybe Walker feels he needs this so he can say he left Florida triumphantly with his hands raised, instead of saying he went back to California because it didn't work out here. Forgetting that during Metrocon I went out of my way to try and help his group whenever I could. Offering to go so far as pick Mitch, Walker and Matt up from Tampa if they couldn't get a ride since Chris didn't work out. I would have done that for them if it was needed. Because I'm passed all this stupid shit and petty name calling. We may never be friends again, and that wouldn't wound me so terribly at this point. But I'm not the bad guy. There is no bad guy. We had an argument that escalated to a stupid level because both sides were assuming stupid shit about the other and couldn't let it go. I don't act petty about it though, I don't sling shit about you around to everyone. That's not who I want to be anymore. Maybe that's how I used to behave back in the day? But its not how I am anymore. You know why we were being "businessmen" at Metrocon? You know why it was cordial? 'Cause I'm over the drama, Walker. I'm done with it. Its been over half a year since this all happened, I think its time to move on. Lets be men, and not little kids.
--The Once and Future Nick
Arrivin' in Corneria in the midst of their deliria, four motherfuckers emerged.
Work since then has been going great, except for having shitty hours most weeks. Last week I worked every day of the week except for Friday, but the weeks before that and this week happening now has been very scant on hours. Thankfully I can take my time looking for a new job because I have this one to keep me afloat for now.
I'm also going to visit one of the MCC campuses sometime this or next week and find out deadlines for stuff and try one more time to get my ass a proper learnin'. I just gotta decide when campus I want to go to. Bradenton where most of the people I know that go to school go, or Venice where my brother goes and is the shorter drive.
I had a blast at Metrocon this year, made a bunch of new friends like Mike the Spy and Gimmick our Army of Two buddy, and Chris's woman Angela, and met up with some old friends like TJ from Darkside and Dakota whom I haven't really hung out with more than a couple times in the last few years and Liz, whom I haven't seen since last year's Metrocon. There were lots of laughs and good times. I had a blast helping Christie in the glow booth during the dances and raves. The coolest act this year was hands down Arc Attack. As soon as Mitch told me they make music with lightning I was fuckin' sold. Look 'em up on youtube if you get a chance, their sound is so-so, but its the whole presentation that makes them amazing so you gotta catch a video of theirs.
Aside from all of that its been pretty quiet, lately. Got a facebook update on my front page about Sonja being tagged in a new note/blog from Walker. I guess he and Matt have headed off to California and decided their last order of business in Florida was to talk shit about me some more, go figure. You know, I haven't been running around Florida demonizing Walker and Matt everywhere I go. Anyone that's asked me what happened between us I've been pretty fair and been leaving it at we had a severe difference of opinion that escalated. We had our fights and our arguments all over our goofy blogs and when it was done I left it alone and moved on. But for some reason they can't just let it go. Blog after blog throwing me under the bus with no provocation at all. Having stupid shit like magazines sent to my house once a month since May. I even see on Facebook Huan, one of our old WoW buddies makes an update and Walker comments, and when Huan asks if we're still friends, and Walker says that to say I betrayed all of my friends would be an understatement. But whatever, I let all of that shit go because I figured it'd be better to let them be childish about it and circle jerk with each other about how I'm the big bad villain or whatever they go on about behind closed doors when my name comes up. I wanted to take the Will Smith Mr. Nice Guy approach and ignore it. But it just bothers me too much that after being cordial at Metrocon and getting along the short time we were near each other, that they'd revert back to this needless shit. So here are the quotes he used to "summed me up". My responses will be bolded for the ease of the reader:
"I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this arcade!"
And Matt's input
Blood: Maybe cut himself once.
Sweat: That place was an oven 100% of the time, so sure.
Tears: Maybe he cried when he cut himself? Who really knows.
All in all, TILT was serious business, and you should have some gorram respect for your manager.
OH LAWDIE! NICK ACTUALLY -LIKED- WHERE HE WORKED AND CARED ABOUT HIS JOB HOLY SHIT STOP THE PRESSES! As far as Matt's input, I've never cut myself over TILT, and I've never shed literal tears over TILT. Its a figure of speech, obviously. And before the responses from them roll in, I know that you know its just a figure of speech and you're trying to make fun of me. Durr hurr.
"I threw Walker's cup away to be a dick.
IF this is referring to what I think it is, which is me throwing away a used Subway cup that had been sitting in the back of TILT, I didn't know it was his until Matt told me. And then I said THAT as a joke. This was when we were all still friends. Hooray for context!
"I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think it's all Bender's fault."
Nope. Not what was said at ALL. Here is the context, and what was actually said. The context is this is back in January when all of this started, I was trying to explain to Walker and Matt that lately they hadn't been doing a good job at TILT anymore. Nick Bender was back in town and had spent a significant amount of time hanging out with Walker and Matt all three together in the store. What I said was, "I know this makes me sound like a dick, but I think part of the problem is too much Bender." AS IN, too much hanging out at the job. A point towards that I made was that there was some crusty taco bell sauce that had sat there the night before from them all hanging out and eating taco bell in the store. To me, from my point of view, it made sense that those three hanging out together at work meant work wasn't getting done. More on that for the next quote.
"That's the kind of guy Nick Bender is. ... On a personal level? That kid is gutter trash."
This came about because of when I told Walker and Matt that I thought Bender hanging out at TILT was making them not do their job well anymore. Apparently, this all got turned into somehow everything was Bender's fault. Evidenced above by Walker mis quoting me by saying I said it was all his fault. This is what Walker actually believes that I think, or thought. And I'd put money down that this is how he conveyed it to Bender in the first place when they all started riding the Hate Nick Troyer train in the first place. So why is that bad on Bender? Well, it pissed me off pretty bad that Bender thought that I was blaming him for everything and was jealous of him just because he was told so, and never once tried to find out from me if that's the way it was. That really bugged the shit out of me, and made me say that. That's why I said that shit. Do I really think Bender is gutter trash? No, he's not. 9 times out of 10 Nick Bender is a good guy, a generous friend, and he's more than willing to help people out less fortunate than he. And he makes a living protecting the United States of America by serving in its Army. If I could go back, I would have probably chosen my words towards Bender a little better. And I apologize for calling him something so extreme like gutter trash. But at the time, I was pretty pissed at him for acting like that. It was pretty bullshit from my point of view. Obviously we don't talk anymore but I hope the guy is doin' good.
"Steve Snyder does his job. The rest of you don't!"
Uh... props to Steve? He did really well at TILT. The only time he left the place messy was when he was in a car wreck with Chris and was hurting. He handled customers really well and was eager to do extra whenever he could.
"I don't steal from TILT. Sure, I borrowed money from the store's safe a few times, but I ALWAYS paid it back."
Nope. What this is referring to is me using one, maybe two quarters to buy a soda I didn't have enough change for from the machine outside. Which was always paid back the next day. I didn't take handfuls of money from the safe unless I had to go buy something with the Petty Cash money for the store.
"Do it or you're fired!" - to cleaning up his own mess
Nope. This is from the holiday season of 2008. The pump for the puffer balls we needed filled up had gone missing, and Matt had spent the entire time on shift(in between customers) looking for it for me. The store had not been cleaned or anything all day because of it. I wasn't mad at Matt, because he had a choice of making the place look nice, or finding something that was important, and he chose to look for the important item. That's a shitty choice at work and I didn't blame him for it. I'm sure I came off like I did because I was upset and frustrated, but I understood that choice because I've been there before. I asked Matt, for the first and last time ever, if he would help Walker clean up a little bit even though he wasn't on shift anymore. He told me no, his ride was on its way and he'd be leaving soon. I told him okay, no problem and I asked Walker if he would clean up the -best he could- that night, since I also was having him pump up puffer balls, which he wasn't happy about already, and he responded that he would try. And, already frustrated and upset, I said "I hope so, or you might end up fired." Matt was right there and later told him and we talked about it and I apologized for being an asshole to he and Matt and went over one more time with Walker what of us from all of our bosses, not just me. It was a sour day but it had ended on an okay note with watching some Angel, or Buffy, or Firefly. I forget which we were on at the time.
"OR YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND SLAM SHIT AROUND!" - Angry after slamming shit around for a half hour.
Same day, but happened before. Like I said I was trying to get them damn balls inflated for the crane, haha. I couldn't find the pump, but I improvised and switched the tips of a different kind of pump so it could hopefully work. While I was searching for the old pump, I was getting shit out of my way. A mostly discarded piece of Wood that Mark and I were keeping in case we needed it, but never did, and also some empty boxes. In my frustration I was removing things placing things back into the tool box. Loudly. I handed the new pump and the puffer balls and asked him to fill 'em up for me. He threw the box onto the glass counter top he had broken once before. I said that quote and stormed out of the store like an asshole. This was also already apologized for and talked over that same night with the rest of the shit from the quote above. I never met a man alive that hasn't at one point been angry and frustrated. Sorry I'm human, bro. But at least I was man enough to talk to you and apologize about it. You know, almost 9 months ago when it happened.
"He's been a good friend to me for over a year now and that is no lie. But I'm not gonna bend over backwards for him either."
After Walker wrote his big huge blog throwing me under the bus the first time, I made a pretty long one in response. At one point I said the quote above. What looks like me saying I wouldn't ever help him out even though he's been a good friend, was me trying to say that I'm not going to do his fucking job for me. Because that's what started all this stupid shit in the first place, me feeling like he wasn't doing his job, and feeling taken advantage of because of it. What I was trying to say is that even though he's been a good friend to me, I wasn't going to bend over for him. The "backwards" part should have been left out.
"The glasses needed to be cleaned, so I drew CLEAN ME on it." - a foot away from the glass cleaner.
This isn't even a quote. This is just what happened. The Tekken screen was hella dusty and dirty, and after cleaning up several things in the store, I drew clean me on the tekken screen with my finger. The way I grew up, this is common practice. My dad used to do this to our cars, our tv screens, whatever. To get us to clean something. Its not malicious, its pointing something out and being somewhat lighthearted about it. I guess their whole problem with it was that I did that on the screen's dust when a bottle of cleaner was right next to me? Okay, fine. But the idea was to share the work load so one person isn't doing everything. I had just spent my day cleaning up over half the store's games up until a half hour of my shift was left. And yeah, I know one screen wouldn't have made a difference as far as the "work load" but I didn't think it'd be that big a fucking deal to point out a screen was dirty either.
"I can tell you I definitely didn't go through your e-mails. Do you remember how many times you've had to trust me with that password because I simply cannot remember its jumbledness?" - Shortly before MySpace confirms Nick Troyer used the e-mail to hack MySpace password.
This shit again. All I can say to this is that they changed the e-mail address attatched to the BSG myspace without having to go INTO my e-mail. Apparantly he thinks he is the only one gifted enough to do that?
"Tilt is NOT your toybox, Walker." - From the guy that took many, many toys from TILT.
We all took small stupid toys from TILT once and awhile. When we were feeling particularly silly we'd even play with some of them. They obviously weren't worth a whole lot, being cheep hunks of Chinese plastic. Matt and I used to throw handfuls of the bouncy balls around the store and run and go pick them back up. What the quote here is referring to is when we were all sitting around at Denny's, Walker took out a whistle that was in TILT(It wasn't even a prize of ours, it came in a pack with the air pump I bought because it was a sports package or whatever), and I noticed it as such and said that. I was joking around. I know I'm good at "straight facing" a joke and seeming serious until I laugh with the person and assure them I'm just joking around. Maybe I didn't do it that night so it was assumed I was serious? I don't know. I do know that I was somewhat irked that I found the remnants of a new TILT prize in Walker's room everytime I went and hung out with him in there. It seemed like he didn't care about moderation. And that's the part that ticked me off. None of us took toys or stock -all the time-. It was a once and awhile thing. Except for eating candy. We ALL over-ate the candy there.
"As you know, I now go through walker's room every time he's gone."
When I found a TILT basketball from the Rage in the Cage game in Walker's closet while he was in California for new years, that's when I thought he had been taking too much. Little toys and stuff were one thing. Small 2 cent chess sets made out of paper you know? Whatever, yeah? But this was too much. I didn't do anything about it then, because its a delicate situation. From Walker's point of view it wasn't a big deal, but to me as manager it was a lot more serious than a couple of little BS Chinese toys. So after he came back, when he went to work I'd take a quick look in his room to see if anything else showed up. I didn't go turning his whole room upside down like some pissed off parent. It didn't matter though, from Walker's point of view its the same thing. And I didn't blame him for being mad about it. Anyway, what the quote is from is when I did one day decide to be bold. And found in his dresser two STACKS of comic books from TILT. When I did that, I told Matt about it because I was livid. Matt's response to the situation(at first) was that he didn't approve of the methods, but understood that I had reasons, and that the find was quite a lot to take and it wasn't right. This, in my head, reaffirmed my right to be angry, and the angrier I got, the more Matt defended Walker. But before I was being out of line in the conversation, Matt for the most part agreed with me. So that's where that quote came from.
"I can't wait until you guys ever get a REAL job where you have real managers who..."
This was mostly directed towards Matt. Whose first job was TILT. The idea behind it being when Matt finally has to work for someone who didn't see him as a friend and wasn't lenient on the whole store like I was with everything up until the last moments, it would probably be a rude awakening for him.
So out of all of that, most of these "quotes" were out of context, misleading, or just wrong all together. What have we come away with out of all of this? That I'm like everyone else. Human. I've made mistakes. I get upset about things. Whoopiedoo. I understand I didn't always treat Walker with the respect I should have when all of this was happening. I understand sometimes I lost my temper. But I've owned up to those moments before, time and time again. And that's something Walker has tried to exploit to make me look like I'm some big bad atrocious villain of sorts. Like I'm out to get ya! And he wants to say things like he did more good with Nick Bender in two weeks than he did with me for four months. To that all I can say is I'm sorry I didn't know anyone who needed help while you were down here, man. The last time I had to drive a city over to help someone with their abusive boyfriend was when my brother Jordan and I went to help our friend Stephanie. And if I remember correctly that was before you moved in with me. I'm also sorry that when I'm in Sarasota, its not because I'm on vacation. I'm not coming here or returning here from "real life". Sarasota is where my real life happens. I don't have the privilege of free time to be able to go when and where that I please. I had responsibilities. That's not to downplay you guys helping people. You got the opportunity to do a really good thing, and you took that opportunity. There's no shame in that, there's nothing to make fun of you guys for in that. Or whatever. You did good. Grats. But I still believe that's a terrible comparison to make.
Maybe Walker feels he needs this so he can say he left Florida triumphantly with his hands raised, instead of saying he went back to California because it didn't work out here. Forgetting that during Metrocon I went out of my way to try and help his group whenever I could. Offering to go so far as pick Mitch, Walker and Matt up from Tampa if they couldn't get a ride since Chris didn't work out. I would have done that for them if it was needed. Because I'm passed all this stupid shit and petty name calling. We may never be friends again, and that wouldn't wound me so terribly at this point. But I'm not the bad guy. There is no bad guy. We had an argument that escalated to a stupid level because both sides were assuming stupid shit about the other and couldn't let it go. I don't act petty about it though, I don't sling shit about you around to everyone. That's not who I want to be anymore. Maybe that's how I used to behave back in the day? But its not how I am anymore. You know why we were being "businessmen" at Metrocon? You know why it was cordial? 'Cause I'm over the drama, Walker. I'm done with it. Its been over half a year since this all happened, I think its time to move on. Lets be men, and not little kids.
--The Once and Future Nick
Arrivin' in Corneria in the midst of their deliria, four motherfuckers emerged.