Can I Get A Witness?
Hey Audiance. Its been a few months since my last update. I didn't think I had much to say lately but I've realized I have almost too much to say now. Ain't that the way it goes? Either way, I can't let Walker of all people post more often than I do, that'd be backasswards if ever something could be. So here goes.
First, lemme give you the quick recap.
Previously, on Nick.
"Crap I had to work on my birthday! Oh no the owner of the company is visiting! Walker, get your ass over here! Moving?!"
And now, the continuation of.... Nick
Okay, so I had a goofy September. Working on my birthday, visits from all sorts of higher ups in the company, and at the end of it all, Walker came back to town to live here for awhile, since his last living situation didn't quite work out the way he wanted it to. A lot has happened since then, but nothing incredibly notable. I'll go through the major topics. I hired Walker at the TILT to help him with money as much as TILT can help anything, which ain't much. But it can keep him afloat until he finds something better. We did finally move at the end of October, and I have to say this new house is quite the upgrade. Walker and I are sporting separate rooms now, which helps a lot. I love that guy as a brother, but sharing a room and a computer with someone can be frustrating. Its not anything he did in particular, its just the way it is. As a temporary thing, it was always fine. Having good times. But after awhile being around someone all the time all day every day just gets on someone's nerves. I'm sure I was pretty annoying in my own right. In fact I'd be surprised if I wasn't. Its just how it is when you get older. When you're kids, you can share a room with your brother. When you're older, it doesn't work that way anymore, haha. But we both have our own spaces now, and that's good. The atmosphere of this house itself is so much nicer than the previous place(which I always thought was pretty nice anyway!). Everything seems calmer, brighter, nicer. I even have a bed now! For the first time in like, seven years I have my own bed and not a couch. I forgot how great it feels to lay down and spread out, instead of being limited by the length and width of couch cushions. I have to admit though, I'm not totally adjusted. Every once and awhile I'll wake up groggy and it takes a second to realize I'm in my new house, and I got a little jealous when I saw people move in at my old place. No particular reason to, just did. I had a lot of good and bad memories there. It was a really important environment in my life, and I hope it doesn't fade into pseudo-obscurity like eleven homes that came before it.
What else what else... Ah yes, the end of October and beginning of November. That was a weird time for me, haha. When I say that, though, I feel like I'm automatically insinuating that these were bad times. And that's not the case at all. I had a great time those two weeks, but I've never been that busy before. In between boxing up my life and moving to a new home, I made a trip to Orlando to see Nine Inch Nails with my brother. And I tell you that was the best concert I've ever been to. It would have been way better if I could have been in the pit, but you take what you can get. And we had good seats none the less. The production quality of the Nine Inch Nails show has always been pretty high, but this blows everything else away. The creativity, time, and energy put into everything about the concert is going to change the way the mainstream big famous band kind of concerts are done. Between the interactive touch screens, LED light shows and all manners of sound-dependent animations and whatnot going on in the background. It was really awesome and groundbreaking. If you hit up the official NIN youtube they have a short video documentary about their setup. Its really cool and interesting and you should check it out :D.
And then after that, and after getting settled in the new home for a couple days I get an e-mail from Stella asking me when a good time to pick me up that day is. And I'm all abuh? And then I remembered, she wanted me to go with her to the NIN show in Jacksonville the day after the Orlando show, but she couldn't get tickets, so she got tickets to the Dir en grey show in Orlando instead. BONUS ROUND. The Dir en grey concert was also an amazing experience. I finally got to -really- see them for the first time. Let me explain. Way back when I was dating Lindsey and her, her friend Stephanie(who was the reason I was even able to go), Stephanie's parents and myself went to the Family Values Tour 2006. The lineup had bands like Flyleaf, Deftones, and Korn naturally. But more importantly to me, before any of those bands got on stage, a little Japanese rock band named Dir en grey was performing. Dir en grey, my favorite band liek evar lolz. Seriously though, I was more excited for their little six song show than any other band that night. And I wasn't disappointed, they were awesome. But it wasn't their show. Its always a different experience between an opening act, and a headliner. Always. Not only because they become in control, but at a headlining show, you know the crowd is there to see -them-. Its not just some attraction they were catching on the way to the big fish, that was the catch of the day ya know? So here I am, standing with a handful of people. I'd say 50 at BEST. Half of which were die-hard fans, half of THAT were little fangirls that had no business at a concert, and the rest were gawkers or genuinely interested-ers. Lindsey and co included in those last two brackets. It was a great experience, but it wasn't proper. This concert was proper. A small, intimate venue, a packed crowd that were all there to see that band, etc. etc. The energy was off the charts. While I think NIN was the best concert I've ever been to, due to creativity and production and whatnot. Dir en grey was the most fun I've been to because of the energy. Gen, Jack, Stella and I went in there with mixed expectations, and after the first few songs we were all in the middle of the action throwing people around. And look, I'm a big guy. Any moshers came my way got sent back 10 feet the way they came through the crowd, I was trying really hard to keep Gen and Stella from getting trampled. They are tiny and dainty folk. Jack isn't really big, but he's not a shrimp either, so he held his own. But by time the adrenaline was pumping my services weren't needed anymore, I saw Gen and Stella push people several times their own size out the way to catch glimpses and get pictures of the band. It was a really good time and I'm glad I got to go, especially since I got to get their new album, Uroborus, and the newest album from their really talented opening act, The Human Abstract, before their official releases. I owe Stella a lot for bringing me along, even if she called it a late birthday present, haha.
One thing about 2008 that became apparent since before Metrocon, is that this is the year of driving all over the fucking place. I've lost count how many times I had to go to Tampa and back this year, not to mention two trips to Orlando. I loves me some road trips but that shit was ridiculous, haha.
The rest of November was pretty boring, but it went by quickly. A lot of great video games have been coming starting then and I wish I had the cash on me to play them all. I joked around with Joe' about shipping me his copy of Mirror's Edge to be "economical" and instead he just bought it for me. So I definitely appreciate that. I got my hands on MK vs DCU as well, and was surprisingly happy with it. Especially for a Mortal Kombat game. Especially for a 3-D Mortal Kombat game. I also desperately need to get Left 4 Dead on PC, the newest Armored Core on XB360, and some others. Also when it comes out, Batman: Arkham Asylum looks really good. And I'm not even a Batman fan! I did have a really good Thanksgiving though, I enjoyed seeing my family a lot. And before that, a vile story of Denny's Indecency. Walker posted it today, and he really said it the best so I'm just going to copy paste it behind an LJ-Cut here for you all.
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~*~ "Grazie, Prego, Kiss Kiss!" ~*~
We take a break from our regularly-scheduled dour Walker blogs to bring you something truly hilarious! This story is about a week old, but the hilarity only now just died down enough that we could tell it proper. The setting is our local Denny's, which as previously mentioned, is pretty much our hangout spot, no matter where across the nation. And the local Denny's today in Sarasota is supplied by our favorite waitress (Christina) and our favorite cook (Mike), but unfortunately not our favorite manager (J.T.) so things get the ruckus and jive. Specifically, the Italian family that's already there when we get in. It's huge, ten people across at the least, and right next to our designated table we always sit at. So, what do me and Nick do? Go sit at our table even if it is uber-close to these guys. And we wait for Steve to arrive.
While we do, these guys--and trust me, I'm not trying to be like..racist or anything, but these guys are UBER-Italians. Like, straight from Jersey (they came down from Jersey to attend to a funeral). Elderly Italian folks, too--the stereotypical clothes, the rich Italian accents (if they decided to speak English, which mostly they did not), and so on. Like, it was a riot all by itself to listen to these guys, but we were kinna beefed by how they treated Christina, our usual server. She'd bring out tons of stuff, workin' this one table by her own, and she'd ask who had what--and they wouldn't even look at her, much less respond. Just kept on eating. So she had to go, person by person, to find out who had what, and when she got it wrong, they got incensed and indignant haha--it was funny. So in a hope that she could get their attention, Christina came out with their food hollarin' "Moons Over My Hammy??" to see who'd look up for it. They got a HUGE kick about that, kept saying the whole time between Italian jibberish.
ANYWAY, they make a colossal mess of things and then take off, leaving a meager tip for all Christina's hassle--and the worst part is, when we overheard, no one asked for anything. Just, all demands. And this went on for hours, and me and Nick and Steve had many-a-manly teehees over it. Then, just like that, they were gone and Christina was left to clean up their only half-eaten foods all over the place, and sat down with us in irritance. Briefly. Then another set of customers was ready to leave--didn't even give her a tip, and just as she was ushering them out the door, they come. A second, Italian family. The younger generation it seems, with the jewelry and the open-shirts and all. And they grab all the back-wall tables we were next to that just got cleaned and wedge them together into a corner, and more and more keep filling in. Wives in the corner, men in the other half. Twenty of 'em at the least, all here for the same funeral, 'cuz they're talking about it. Twenty of 'em, followed up by a basic redneck red-haired white-dude named Scott.
And we KNOW this man is man is named Scott, because they make Scott sit in the booth behind them. "No, Scott, why don't you sit here?"...separating him from the family. We thought this was weird, maybe he was the limo driver? But he looked morose and all he was given was a single coffee, while the family began to order the feast of feasts. And, again, I do mean order in the strictest sense, no kindness here. THEN the kids came running over, five of them--one goofy as fuck--and they made Scott move back a boot MORE so the kids could sit behind the parents. The kids didn't choose there, they chose the round table on the right of us (as opposed to behind us where the family was), but they still didn't let Scott move back to the seat he was in before. No, he just enjoyed his coffee like a kicked dog, while shenanigans began to boil up. The way they treated Christina was horrible! No break, no "take your time" or even "I'm sorry this shit is so whack"--no, just demands and orders and people angry that she wasn't getting to them first or fast enough--she's just one girl! Back and forth, back and forth.
Hell even the KIDS had the pebble-stones to go chase her down while she was trying to ring up another family for their meal, JUST because she didn't get their shake right then and there. I mean, for fuck's sake--and did the parents do anything? No, not at all, so instead I did. I followed after them and was like, "Hey, you need to leave her alone, she'll get to you when she can but she's obviously really busy." and the little fuckers had the gall, to ask me, "What, do you work here??" in that tone that reflected I had no authority over them unless I did. So naturally, I said, "Yes! Yes I do. Siddown." and then I told Christina what I did in a way that looked like I was talkin' to her all professional like (those were some unhappy Guidos, to be sure--glarin' at me!) and then we went to sit back down.
I hop up when Mike--the cook--comes out to get a refill of soda and go to talk to him like, "Damn Mike, sure got busy again real quick didn't it? More folks from Jersey for the same funeral, giving Christina the run around" and he's like, "Yeah?? Well fuck 'em!! I don'gotta cook shit 'til I wanna" and boots open the door like a man, back into the kitchen! We laughed about it when we sat down. We couldn't even talk to ourselves, we were so amused--every time we almost did, they'd say something else we'd have to facepalm and laugh at, up to and including their dead-bodies-in-the-trunk joke Mafia jokes they thought were the hilarity. This was in between watching Christina trying to get them something, and every time she'd go to do anything--like refill water for the girls--she'd get hollered over by the men or the boy-children and told to get this, or get that.
All the while, Scott sitting on his lonesome. We felt almost bad enough to join him.
And oh boy, what a disaster. Loud doesn't even begin to describe. Messy, doesn't even begin to describe. First Italian family, were saints, compared to this. Words can't even describe! We tried to get pictures....
We took this pic from our table. The second pic shows the kid's table.
But they fail to capture the true mess 'cuz of the shitty camera quality. Sugar packets? They dumped them out everywhere, on the floor and all, as if they overturned the sugar packet holder for the lulz. Silverware, coated the floor everywhere, along with food scraps and napkins and cups. In enormous quantity. We sometimes make a mess, we BSG, but we gotta TRY to get anywhere near what the KIDS did, and the KIDS table was a MILLION times cleaner than THIS. My God man! They were so rolly-poly after gorging themselves, see that table that's sticking out there? They just shoved it out of the line and stepped out, rather than scooting down to the end, and then just left it like that. All their food is, again, half-eaten. Nothing ever rightfully consumed, so much waste. And here they are, flashing one-hundred dollar bills at the the elder that was there (only one old dude, prolly babysitting the fuckers) about trying to cover the bill for themselves--FLASHING WADS OF BENJAMINS! Trying to take the entire check. But grandpa already covered it, so too late.
And this is only after HOURS OF EATING.
And they all shuffle out to the door--"Grazie, prego, kiss kiss!" and get to the front. The bill was like, $177 and some change, and they give Christina $22 for tip. Then they take away $2, for no discernible reason. That's, ALL she gets, for serving that many people by herself, the manager there John not even helping her out, all by her lonesome?? She was working her ass off to make everyone happy, and she's left with that..that sea of natural disaster called a table?! $20!?! Aw Hell naw. Me, Nick, and Steve got up and cleaned that shit proper, helped her out cleaning that table for at least an hour, and then Mike made us Hella free food for helpin' out the place. But I mean--seriously. I'm not tryin' to be racist again--Peter Molski knows this, my best friend for years!--but what the fuck are you wops thinking?? If you ever accidentally somehow stumble onto my journal by some cosmic coincidence, I want you to know how bad you made yourselves look! Real bad! Can't be treatin' a waitress like that, your asses must be crazy!
...And watch your damn kids!
And the WORST of this all, the WORST part of this story--or the best, kinda both. Scott, the redneck white guy that wasn't allowed to sit with them, gets up with them when they go to leave..and he gets handed a to-go box from one of them. And Scott is walked over to the table, and they say to Scott, "Ok Scott, you can have ANYTHING you want off of this table now! Look, I don't think this piece of chicken was even touched!" Man, like some kinda dog, Scott gets the fuckin' scraps! Like J.T. said when he heard the story, slavery ain't dead! When Scott left after filling his mealbox with pitiful leftover half-eaten food, the three of us--me, Nick, and Steve--burst into the loudest, hardest laughter we've done since Adrianna night at Metrocon 4.5--I mean, we laughed hard for no shit thirty minutes straight. We were laughing so hard, so hysterically, you could prolly hear us at the Denny's the next town over. Pounding the table, I was crying hard--literal tears man!
And Steve just goes "I'M DONE!" in the middle of our man-giggles and spikes a fork into the table for good measure--that bounces and stabs me into the head! It even sticks for a second or two, before clanging back to the table, and blood starts seeping down my forhead! And we couldn't stop! We just kept right on laughing and laughing and laughing, my God it hurt--and it hurts to even think about it again! I'm already laughing about it now, after a week of it being done. Between giggles Steve finally sees the blood and goes, "Walker you're bleeding!" and I'm like, "Yeah, I know!" And "BUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" from all of us again, before Nick tries to explain what happened in teeheed words and Steve gets it and "BUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!" all over again. Goddamn! And when it was finally over FINALLY done, when we could breathe again!..That's when we went to clean that table after Scott left, holy God man. There was even a sausage on a fork, as if one'a them was gonna eat it, and then went..."Nahhhhhhhh. We'll leave this on here for Scott!" I mean, mother of God, that was disrespectful as fuck, that family's been engraved into my memory for life--immortalized by our jokings hahaha.
Seriously! Even Jesse would'a punched these guys, true story!
So, anyway, that's my story--the story about Scott and the Italians. Remember, kids, when you got to eat out, try to put your shit in a condition that's passable. Stack your plates and trash, try to keep it clean, don't fuck anything up or other honorless acts--push in your chairs maybe, whatever you can. Keep an eye on your kids, have the manners to say "please" and "thankyou" and be both mature and patient--they are what they are, they're only Human. Even if you don't like your waiter, their life is a long hard life, they get paid in diddly-squat for bustin' ass just for you, and believe me, the Christinas and the Mikes and the J.T.s and the Nicole Adams of the world will thank you for your hospitality, and I will too. Gotta be above the things you hate, and make sure you don't become what you dislike most! And good karma comes back, true story--just like the bad, and in helping other people out through the hard time, you get free meals from Mike. ...Or, at least, something of equivalence, sometimes something intangible. The knowledge you helped someone out, and likely you'll make a friend--or at the very least a contact--you can rely on in your future.
Grazie, Prego, Kiss Kiss,
Walker Pennington
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Moving right along, I have another issue I need to bring up. And I'm gonna throw out the disclaimer that if you're reading this as a person on my friend's list, you are the exception. I'm not talking about you. Even though several of you exhibit these traits, this isn't about you. If you are a friend of mine you obviously have a handful of redeeming qualities that offsets this behavior, so I genuinely hope you don't get too offended...
Having that been said, what the fuck is wrong with you girls lately? Did I miss something? Did I wake up one day in alternate Earth where nobody makes sense anymore? Women everywhere are losing their damn minds! From being completely devoted to a guy that has stabbed them in the back 20 times, to randomly screwing around on people, and to obsessive compulsive over this Twilight fad. Its everywhere! Not even just local or us little people either. Celebrity women are going bonkers too! The deal with Hulk Hogan and his soon to be ex-wife Linda trying to take every penny he's ever had, and has somehow, miraculously thanks to the wonderful court system, pretty much succeeded! And she keeps throwing out blatant complete lies to people about the situation. Proven lies that anyone can plainly see. She accuses the Hulkster of ditching her in a house that was too big for her to maintain, along with her seven dogs. WHEN SHE FILED FOR DIVORCE AGAINST HIM, AS HE BEGGED HER NOT TO LEAVE HIM UNTIL THEY WERE STABLE AFTER THEIR SON GOT IN THAT CAR ACCIDENT! Does anyone buy that shit? Its ridiculous! And then this Twilight thing. Every chick in the world, save a few, is going ga-ga over this thing. I know Shlie and Whitney will probably take offense to this section, but its so bad. I cannot for the life of me see the appeal in this. Not the book(that I suffered through), nor the movie. I really want to go in detail here, but there's nothing I can say that someone hasn't already said a LOT. So I'll throw a couple links out there for reference.
http://www.therossman.com/rrr/other/twilight.html
http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html
Every day its some new big facepalm about a girl or woman being stupid. And I'm not trying to come off as big superior man. I'm really not. I'm not a superior guy. I'm a normal guy, wondering where all the normal girls went. What happened to the chicks that could have a conversation with you about something and it NOT digress into how totally hot some celeb guy is. Or what happened to the girls that didn't cream themselves over the newest eunuch-looking super flamboyantly gay guy? What happened to the girls with substance? I thought guys were supposed to be the superficial stare-at-tits-all-day-long types. Like Whitney. Whitney I love ya, you're a good friend, but I can't talk to you for more than five minutes before you start telling me how hot some random band members are. Can't you like them for the music and not because the band members look like a girl or wear funny getups at their shows? Shlie, I love you to death, but stop telling me how Dante and Edward and those guys from Supernatural are so hot and fuckable and amazing. I thought I was done with that shit when I got out of high school and didn't have to listen to Stella, Baru and whoever else go on and on about j-rockers in their visual kei days. I don't want to come off as a prick here, but I can't go two texts on my phone from like any of my chick friends without hearing about some dude's rock hard abs. I get it, I'm fat and unlovable, lets move on to something with substance please(That last part's supposed to be a punch-line D: ).
And these are girls that don't even consider themselves fangirls. God I can't stand -real- fangirls. The ones that see how much they obsess and flail over something that's usually fictional to begin with, and instead of trying not to sound like loonies, they embrace this goofiness. If its not Edward from Twilight, its the Heath Ledger Joker, if its not Joker its some other pretty boy. Man I know I'm gonna take a lot of heat for this, but it has to be said. Its getting out of control! You chicas need to go back to your roots. Back when you were proud, respectable, and strong. When you were people, and not just a gold mine for any movie or TV production who can cast a clean shaven, over-moussed spiky messy haired "bad boy" for you to drool over. PLEASE! And that's all I have to say about that.
With Ease,
--The Once and Future Nick
Thought he lost everything, then he lost a whole lot more.
P.S. I woke up feeling sick today. FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCC-BOOOOM!
First, lemme give you the quick recap.
Previously, on Nick.
"Crap I had to work on my birthday! Oh no the owner of the company is visiting! Walker, get your ass over here! Moving?!"
And now, the continuation of.... Nick
Okay, so I had a goofy September. Working on my birthday, visits from all sorts of higher ups in the company, and at the end of it all, Walker came back to town to live here for awhile, since his last living situation didn't quite work out the way he wanted it to. A lot has happened since then, but nothing incredibly notable. I'll go through the major topics. I hired Walker at the TILT to help him with money as much as TILT can help anything, which ain't much. But it can keep him afloat until he finds something better. We did finally move at the end of October, and I have to say this new house is quite the upgrade. Walker and I are sporting separate rooms now, which helps a lot. I love that guy as a brother, but sharing a room and a computer with someone can be frustrating. Its not anything he did in particular, its just the way it is. As a temporary thing, it was always fine. Having good times. But after awhile being around someone all the time all day every day just gets on someone's nerves. I'm sure I was pretty annoying in my own right. In fact I'd be surprised if I wasn't. Its just how it is when you get older. When you're kids, you can share a room with your brother. When you're older, it doesn't work that way anymore, haha. But we both have our own spaces now, and that's good. The atmosphere of this house itself is so much nicer than the previous place(which I always thought was pretty nice anyway!). Everything seems calmer, brighter, nicer. I even have a bed now! For the first time in like, seven years I have my own bed and not a couch. I forgot how great it feels to lay down and spread out, instead of being limited by the length and width of couch cushions. I have to admit though, I'm not totally adjusted. Every once and awhile I'll wake up groggy and it takes a second to realize I'm in my new house, and I got a little jealous when I saw people move in at my old place. No particular reason to, just did. I had a lot of good and bad memories there. It was a really important environment in my life, and I hope it doesn't fade into pseudo-obscurity like eleven homes that came before it.
What else what else... Ah yes, the end of October and beginning of November. That was a weird time for me, haha. When I say that, though, I feel like I'm automatically insinuating that these were bad times. And that's not the case at all. I had a great time those two weeks, but I've never been that busy before. In between boxing up my life and moving to a new home, I made a trip to Orlando to see Nine Inch Nails with my brother. And I tell you that was the best concert I've ever been to. It would have been way better if I could have been in the pit, but you take what you can get. And we had good seats none the less. The production quality of the Nine Inch Nails show has always been pretty high, but this blows everything else away. The creativity, time, and energy put into everything about the concert is going to change the way the mainstream big famous band kind of concerts are done. Between the interactive touch screens, LED light shows and all manners of sound-dependent animations and whatnot going on in the background. It was really awesome and groundbreaking. If you hit up the official NIN youtube they have a short video documentary about their setup. Its really cool and interesting and you should check it out :D.
And then after that, and after getting settled in the new home for a couple days I get an e-mail from Stella asking me when a good time to pick me up that day is. And I'm all abuh? And then I remembered, she wanted me to go with her to the NIN show in Jacksonville the day after the Orlando show, but she couldn't get tickets, so she got tickets to the Dir en grey show in Orlando instead. BONUS ROUND. The Dir en grey concert was also an amazing experience. I finally got to -really- see them for the first time. Let me explain. Way back when I was dating Lindsey and her, her friend Stephanie(who was the reason I was even able to go), Stephanie's parents and myself went to the Family Values Tour 2006. The lineup had bands like Flyleaf, Deftones, and Korn naturally. But more importantly to me, before any of those bands got on stage, a little Japanese rock band named Dir en grey was performing. Dir en grey, my favorite band liek evar lolz. Seriously though, I was more excited for their little six song show than any other band that night. And I wasn't disappointed, they were awesome. But it wasn't their show. Its always a different experience between an opening act, and a headliner. Always. Not only because they become in control, but at a headlining show, you know the crowd is there to see -them-. Its not just some attraction they were catching on the way to the big fish, that was the catch of the day ya know? So here I am, standing with a handful of people. I'd say 50 at BEST. Half of which were die-hard fans, half of THAT were little fangirls that had no business at a concert, and the rest were gawkers or genuinely interested-ers. Lindsey and co included in those last two brackets. It was a great experience, but it wasn't proper. This concert was proper. A small, intimate venue, a packed crowd that were all there to see that band, etc. etc. The energy was off the charts. While I think NIN was the best concert I've ever been to, due to creativity and production and whatnot. Dir en grey was the most fun I've been to because of the energy. Gen, Jack, Stella and I went in there with mixed expectations, and after the first few songs we were all in the middle of the action throwing people around. And look, I'm a big guy. Any moshers came my way got sent back 10 feet the way they came through the crowd, I was trying really hard to keep Gen and Stella from getting trampled. They are tiny and dainty folk. Jack isn't really big, but he's not a shrimp either, so he held his own. But by time the adrenaline was pumping my services weren't needed anymore, I saw Gen and Stella push people several times their own size out the way to catch glimpses and get pictures of the band. It was a really good time and I'm glad I got to go, especially since I got to get their new album, Uroborus, and the newest album from their really talented opening act, The Human Abstract, before their official releases. I owe Stella a lot for bringing me along, even if she called it a late birthday present, haha.
One thing about 2008 that became apparent since before Metrocon, is that this is the year of driving all over the fucking place. I've lost count how many times I had to go to Tampa and back this year, not to mention two trips to Orlando. I loves me some road trips but that shit was ridiculous, haha.
The rest of November was pretty boring, but it went by quickly. A lot of great video games have been coming starting then and I wish I had the cash on me to play them all. I joked around with Joe' about shipping me his copy of Mirror's Edge to be "economical" and instead he just bought it for me. So I definitely appreciate that. I got my hands on MK vs DCU as well, and was surprisingly happy with it. Especially for a Mortal Kombat game. Especially for a 3-D Mortal Kombat game. I also desperately need to get Left 4 Dead on PC, the newest Armored Core on XB360, and some others. Also when it comes out, Batman: Arkham Asylum looks really good. And I'm not even a Batman fan! I did have a really good Thanksgiving though, I enjoyed seeing my family a lot. And before that, a vile story of Denny's Indecency. Walker posted it today, and he really said it the best so I'm just going to copy paste it behind an LJ-Cut here for you all.
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~*~ "Grazie, Prego, Kiss Kiss!" ~*~
We take a break from our regularly-scheduled dour Walker blogs to bring you something truly hilarious! This story is about a week old, but the hilarity only now just died down enough that we could tell it proper. The setting is our local Denny's, which as previously mentioned, is pretty much our hangout spot, no matter where across the nation. And the local Denny's today in Sarasota is supplied by our favorite waitress (Christina) and our favorite cook (Mike), but unfortunately not our favorite manager (J.T.) so things get the ruckus and jive. Specifically, the Italian family that's already there when we get in. It's huge, ten people across at the least, and right next to our designated table we always sit at. So, what do me and Nick do? Go sit at our table even if it is uber-close to these guys. And we wait for Steve to arrive.
While we do, these guys--and trust me, I'm not trying to be like..racist or anything, but these guys are UBER-Italians. Like, straight from Jersey (they came down from Jersey to attend to a funeral). Elderly Italian folks, too--the stereotypical clothes, the rich Italian accents (if they decided to speak English, which mostly they did not), and so on. Like, it was a riot all by itself to listen to these guys, but we were kinna beefed by how they treated Christina, our usual server. She'd bring out tons of stuff, workin' this one table by her own, and she'd ask who had what--and they wouldn't even look at her, much less respond. Just kept on eating. So she had to go, person by person, to find out who had what, and when she got it wrong, they got incensed and indignant haha--it was funny. So in a hope that she could get their attention, Christina came out with their food hollarin' "Moons Over My Hammy??" to see who'd look up for it. They got a HUGE kick about that, kept saying the whole time between Italian jibberish.
ANYWAY, they make a colossal mess of things and then take off, leaving a meager tip for all Christina's hassle--and the worst part is, when we overheard, no one asked for anything. Just, all demands. And this went on for hours, and me and Nick and Steve had many-a-manly teehees over it. Then, just like that, they were gone and Christina was left to clean up their only half-eaten foods all over the place, and sat down with us in irritance. Briefly. Then another set of customers was ready to leave--didn't even give her a tip, and just as she was ushering them out the door, they come. A second, Italian family. The younger generation it seems, with the jewelry and the open-shirts and all. And they grab all the back-wall tables we were next to that just got cleaned and wedge them together into a corner, and more and more keep filling in. Wives in the corner, men in the other half. Twenty of 'em at the least, all here for the same funeral, 'cuz they're talking about it. Twenty of 'em, followed up by a basic redneck red-haired white-dude named Scott.
And we KNOW this man is man is named Scott, because they make Scott sit in the booth behind them. "No, Scott, why don't you sit here?"...separating him from the family. We thought this was weird, maybe he was the limo driver? But he looked morose and all he was given was a single coffee, while the family began to order the feast of feasts. And, again, I do mean order in the strictest sense, no kindness here. THEN the kids came running over, five of them--one goofy as fuck--and they made Scott move back a boot MORE so the kids could sit behind the parents. The kids didn't choose there, they chose the round table on the right of us (as opposed to behind us where the family was), but they still didn't let Scott move back to the seat he was in before. No, he just enjoyed his coffee like a kicked dog, while shenanigans began to boil up. The way they treated Christina was horrible! No break, no "take your time" or even "I'm sorry this shit is so whack"--no, just demands and orders and people angry that she wasn't getting to them first or fast enough--she's just one girl! Back and forth, back and forth.
Hell even the KIDS had the pebble-stones to go chase her down while she was trying to ring up another family for their meal, JUST because she didn't get their shake right then and there. I mean, for fuck's sake--and did the parents do anything? No, not at all, so instead I did. I followed after them and was like, "Hey, you need to leave her alone, she'll get to you when she can but she's obviously really busy." and the little fuckers had the gall, to ask me, "What, do you work here??" in that tone that reflected I had no authority over them unless I did. So naturally, I said, "Yes! Yes I do. Siddown." and then I told Christina what I did in a way that looked like I was talkin' to her all professional like (those were some unhappy Guidos, to be sure--glarin' at me!) and then we went to sit back down.
I hop up when Mike--the cook--comes out to get a refill of soda and go to talk to him like, "Damn Mike, sure got busy again real quick didn't it? More folks from Jersey for the same funeral, giving Christina the run around" and he's like, "Yeah?? Well fuck 'em!! I don'gotta cook shit 'til I wanna" and boots open the door like a man, back into the kitchen! We laughed about it when we sat down. We couldn't even talk to ourselves, we were so amused--every time we almost did, they'd say something else we'd have to facepalm and laugh at, up to and including their dead-bodies-in-the-trunk joke Mafia jokes they thought were the hilarity. This was in between watching Christina trying to get them something, and every time she'd go to do anything--like refill water for the girls--she'd get hollered over by the men or the boy-children and told to get this, or get that.
All the while, Scott sitting on his lonesome. We felt almost bad enough to join him.
And oh boy, what a disaster. Loud doesn't even begin to describe. Messy, doesn't even begin to describe. First Italian family, were saints, compared to this. Words can't even describe! We tried to get pictures....
We took this pic from our table. The second pic shows the kid's table.
But they fail to capture the true mess 'cuz of the shitty camera quality. Sugar packets? They dumped them out everywhere, on the floor and all, as if they overturned the sugar packet holder for the lulz. Silverware, coated the floor everywhere, along with food scraps and napkins and cups. In enormous quantity. We sometimes make a mess, we BSG, but we gotta TRY to get anywhere near what the KIDS did, and the KIDS table was a MILLION times cleaner than THIS. My God man! They were so rolly-poly after gorging themselves, see that table that's sticking out there? They just shoved it out of the line and stepped out, rather than scooting down to the end, and then just left it like that. All their food is, again, half-eaten. Nothing ever rightfully consumed, so much waste. And here they are, flashing one-hundred dollar bills at the the elder that was there (only one old dude, prolly babysitting the fuckers) about trying to cover the bill for themselves--FLASHING WADS OF BENJAMINS! Trying to take the entire check. But grandpa already covered it, so too late.
And this is only after HOURS OF EATING.
And they all shuffle out to the door--"Grazie, prego, kiss kiss!" and get to the front. The bill was like, $177 and some change, and they give Christina $22 for tip. Then they take away $2, for no discernible reason. That's, ALL she gets, for serving that many people by herself, the manager there John not even helping her out, all by her lonesome?? She was working her ass off to make everyone happy, and she's left with that..that sea of natural disaster called a table?! $20!?! Aw Hell naw. Me, Nick, and Steve got up and cleaned that shit proper, helped her out cleaning that table for at least an hour, and then Mike made us Hella free food for helpin' out the place. But I mean--seriously. I'm not tryin' to be racist again--Peter Molski knows this, my best friend for years!--but what the fuck are you wops thinking?? If you ever accidentally somehow stumble onto my journal by some cosmic coincidence, I want you to know how bad you made yourselves look! Real bad! Can't be treatin' a waitress like that, your asses must be crazy!
...And watch your damn kids!
And the WORST of this all, the WORST part of this story--or the best, kinda both. Scott, the redneck white guy that wasn't allowed to sit with them, gets up with them when they go to leave..and he gets handed a to-go box from one of them. And Scott is walked over to the table, and they say to Scott, "Ok Scott, you can have ANYTHING you want off of this table now! Look, I don't think this piece of chicken was even touched!" Man, like some kinda dog, Scott gets the fuckin' scraps! Like J.T. said when he heard the story, slavery ain't dead! When Scott left after filling his mealbox with pitiful leftover half-eaten food, the three of us--me, Nick, and Steve--burst into the loudest, hardest laughter we've done since Adrianna night at Metrocon 4.5--I mean, we laughed hard for no shit thirty minutes straight. We were laughing so hard, so hysterically, you could prolly hear us at the Denny's the next town over. Pounding the table, I was crying hard--literal tears man!
And Steve just goes "I'M DONE!" in the middle of our man-giggles and spikes a fork into the table for good measure--that bounces and stabs me into the head! It even sticks for a second or two, before clanging back to the table, and blood starts seeping down my forhead! And we couldn't stop! We just kept right on laughing and laughing and laughing, my God it hurt--and it hurts to even think about it again! I'm already laughing about it now, after a week of it being done. Between giggles Steve finally sees the blood and goes, "Walker you're bleeding!" and I'm like, "Yeah, I know!" And "BUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA" from all of us again, before Nick tries to explain what happened in teeheed words and Steve gets it and "BUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!" all over again. Goddamn! And when it was finally over FINALLY done, when we could breathe again!..That's when we went to clean that table after Scott left, holy God man. There was even a sausage on a fork, as if one'a them was gonna eat it, and then went..."Nahhhhhhhh. We'll leave this on here for Scott!" I mean, mother of God, that was disrespectful as fuck, that family's been engraved into my memory for life--immortalized by our jokings hahaha.
Seriously! Even Jesse would'a punched these guys, true story!
So, anyway, that's my story--the story about Scott and the Italians. Remember, kids, when you got to eat out, try to put your shit in a condition that's passable. Stack your plates and trash, try to keep it clean, don't fuck anything up or other honorless acts--push in your chairs maybe, whatever you can. Keep an eye on your kids, have the manners to say "please" and "thankyou" and be both mature and patient--they are what they are, they're only Human. Even if you don't like your waiter, their life is a long hard life, they get paid in diddly-squat for bustin' ass just for you, and believe me, the Christinas and the Mikes and the J.T.s and the Nicole Adams of the world will thank you for your hospitality, and I will too. Gotta be above the things you hate, and make sure you don't become what you dislike most! And good karma comes back, true story--just like the bad, and in helping other people out through the hard time, you get free meals from Mike. ...Or, at least, something of equivalence, sometimes something intangible. The knowledge you helped someone out, and likely you'll make a friend--or at the very least a contact--you can rely on in your future.
Grazie, Prego, Kiss Kiss,
Walker Pennington
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Moving right along, I have another issue I need to bring up. And I'm gonna throw out the disclaimer that if you're reading this as a person on my friend's list, you are the exception. I'm not talking about you. Even though several of you exhibit these traits, this isn't about you. If you are a friend of mine you obviously have a handful of redeeming qualities that offsets this behavior, so I genuinely hope you don't get too offended...
Having that been said, what the fuck is wrong with you girls lately? Did I miss something? Did I wake up one day in alternate Earth where nobody makes sense anymore? Women everywhere are losing their damn minds! From being completely devoted to a guy that has stabbed them in the back 20 times, to randomly screwing around on people, and to obsessive compulsive over this Twilight fad. Its everywhere! Not even just local or us little people either. Celebrity women are going bonkers too! The deal with Hulk Hogan and his soon to be ex-wife Linda trying to take every penny he's ever had, and has somehow, miraculously thanks to the wonderful court system, pretty much succeeded! And she keeps throwing out blatant complete lies to people about the situation. Proven lies that anyone can plainly see. She accuses the Hulkster of ditching her in a house that was too big for her to maintain, along with her seven dogs. WHEN SHE FILED FOR DIVORCE AGAINST HIM, AS HE BEGGED HER NOT TO LEAVE HIM UNTIL THEY WERE STABLE AFTER THEIR SON GOT IN THAT CAR ACCIDENT! Does anyone buy that shit? Its ridiculous! And then this Twilight thing. Every chick in the world, save a few, is going ga-ga over this thing. I know Shlie and Whitney will probably take offense to this section, but its so bad. I cannot for the life of me see the appeal in this. Not the book(that I suffered through), nor the movie. I really want to go in detail here, but there's nothing I can say that someone hasn't already said a LOT. So I'll throw a couple links out there for reference.
http://www.therossman.com/rrr/other/twilight.html
http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html
Every day its some new big facepalm about a girl or woman being stupid. And I'm not trying to come off as big superior man. I'm really not. I'm not a superior guy. I'm a normal guy, wondering where all the normal girls went. What happened to the chicks that could have a conversation with you about something and it NOT digress into how totally hot some celeb guy is. Or what happened to the girls that didn't cream themselves over the newest eunuch-looking super flamboyantly gay guy? What happened to the girls with substance? I thought guys were supposed to be the superficial stare-at-tits-all-day-long types. Like Whitney. Whitney I love ya, you're a good friend, but I can't talk to you for more than five minutes before you start telling me how hot some random band members are. Can't you like them for the music and not because the band members look like a girl or wear funny getups at their shows? Shlie, I love you to death, but stop telling me how Dante and Edward and those guys from Supernatural are so hot and fuckable and amazing. I thought I was done with that shit when I got out of high school and didn't have to listen to Stella, Baru and whoever else go on and on about j-rockers in their visual kei days. I don't want to come off as a prick here, but I can't go two texts on my phone from like any of my chick friends without hearing about some dude's rock hard abs. I get it, I'm fat and unlovable, lets move on to something with substance please(That last part's supposed to be a punch-line D: ).
And these are girls that don't even consider themselves fangirls. God I can't stand -real- fangirls. The ones that see how much they obsess and flail over something that's usually fictional to begin with, and instead of trying not to sound like loonies, they embrace this goofiness. If its not Edward from Twilight, its the Heath Ledger Joker, if its not Joker its some other pretty boy. Man I know I'm gonna take a lot of heat for this, but it has to be said. Its getting out of control! You chicas need to go back to your roots. Back when you were proud, respectable, and strong. When you were people, and not just a gold mine for any movie or TV production who can cast a clean shaven, over-moussed spiky messy haired "bad boy" for you to drool over. PLEASE! And that's all I have to say about that.
With Ease,
--The Once and Future Nick
Thought he lost everything, then he lost a whole lot more.
P.S. I woke up feeling sick today. FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCC-BOOOOM!