FIC: Falling is Like This
Title: Falling is Like This
Series: LotR RPS
Pairing: ViggOrli
Genre: General
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not true...
Comments: I'm exploring a new style, first-person POV in present tense so... Inspired by an SMS message I received almost a year ago...
Written for ancabell, from whose LJ I got the title (I hope you don't mind, hon) and whose wonderful piece Try inspired parts of the conversation in this ficlet. *glomptacklehugs you*
FALLING IS LIKE THIS
By Ryuuen
You look at me, blue eyes warm and familiar...
Probing, searching, still as intense as I remember them to be.
As fascinating.
A flicker, then a smile.
You ask me how I'm doing, how fame and stardom and Hollywood, things you've never really been fond of, are treating me. You ask me how filming in Spain has been, a beautiful country with beautiful people, you called it, commenting offhandedly how you'd be leaving for Madrid yourself in a month -- some poetry reading and art exhibits, you say. That you hope we could get together some time.
I smile and nod as I listen to your voice, not really hearing what you're saying. But I tell you everything's fine, peachy even, that I'm happy and grateful for the way things are, and that there's nothing else I could ever ask for.
You frown slightly and I wonder whether it is because my smile is too bright or my laugh is too loud that you could tell I'm lying through my teeth.
You then ask about Kate, teasing me a bit about rumors from gossip rags Henry has shown you, you say.
I just smile, tell you she's a nice girl, that it's nice to have someone who understands me. And then I tell you I love her and that she may just be the One, even if I know neither of us will believe it. After all, what is another lie in a lifetime of pretending?
You stare at me and our eyes meet, even for just a moment. And there's another flicker in your eyes that tells me you've come to a conclusion I don't even want to discover. But you do not push it.
Instead, you look at me once again and tell me how much I've changed, how far I have gone from the hyperactive, careless boy whom you found shivering on your doorstep one night, seeking shelter from the rain. And then you tell me, an almost-tender expression on your face, how proud you are of the man I have become.
And you're smiling again, and I remember it as just one of the things that had made me fall in love with you in the first place.
I say nothing, not trusting myself to speak.
Silence.
And then you tell me you missed me, your voice so soft, so gentle, that my heart stops beating for a moment in remembrance... until I remind myself that I'm over you, that I'm no longer the lovesick fool who threw himself into your arms and begged you for a chance.
And then you're touching me, a calloused palm against my cheek, still gentle, almost unspeakable, just like you did that night when you told me, even amidst drying my tears, that you didn't think it would work, that feelings are not enough... And I remember all the pain and heartache and suffering you put me through until I finally convinced myself to forget you and move on.
And then I find you looking at me with those soulful eyes and an emotion in them I never really understood before. And, for the first time, I see... I see, and understand.
And as you pull me close and whisper words none-too-different from those I wanted to hear from you that night, I begin to doubt...
I tell myself I no longer love you...
But deep, deep down...
one word...
one look...
one smile...
one touch...
And I know, again...
I'd fall.
End.
Feedback will be appreciated.
Cross-posted at viggorli, _insatiable_ and fellow_shippers...
Series: LotR RPS
Pairing: ViggOrli
Genre: General
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not true...
Comments: I'm exploring a new style, first-person POV in present tense so... Inspired by an SMS message I received almost a year ago...
Written for ancabell, from whose LJ I got the title (I hope you don't mind, hon) and whose wonderful piece Try inspired parts of the conversation in this ficlet. *glomptacklehugs you*
FALLING IS LIKE THIS
By Ryuuen
You look at me, blue eyes warm and familiar...
Probing, searching, still as intense as I remember them to be.
As fascinating.
A flicker, then a smile.
You ask me how I'm doing, how fame and stardom and Hollywood, things you've never really been fond of, are treating me. You ask me how filming in Spain has been, a beautiful country with beautiful people, you called it, commenting offhandedly how you'd be leaving for Madrid yourself in a month -- some poetry reading and art exhibits, you say. That you hope we could get together some time.
I smile and nod as I listen to your voice, not really hearing what you're saying. But I tell you everything's fine, peachy even, that I'm happy and grateful for the way things are, and that there's nothing else I could ever ask for.
You frown slightly and I wonder whether it is because my smile is too bright or my laugh is too loud that you could tell I'm lying through my teeth.
You then ask about Kate, teasing me a bit about rumors from gossip rags Henry has shown you, you say.
I just smile, tell you she's a nice girl, that it's nice to have someone who understands me. And then I tell you I love her and that she may just be the One, even if I know neither of us will believe it. After all, what is another lie in a lifetime of pretending?
You stare at me and our eyes meet, even for just a moment. And there's another flicker in your eyes that tells me you've come to a conclusion I don't even want to discover. But you do not push it.
Instead, you look at me once again and tell me how much I've changed, how far I have gone from the hyperactive, careless boy whom you found shivering on your doorstep one night, seeking shelter from the rain. And then you tell me, an almost-tender expression on your face, how proud you are of the man I have become.
And you're smiling again, and I remember it as just one of the things that had made me fall in love with you in the first place.
I say nothing, not trusting myself to speak.
Silence.
And then you tell me you missed me, your voice so soft, so gentle, that my heart stops beating for a moment in remembrance... until I remind myself that I'm over you, that I'm no longer the lovesick fool who threw himself into your arms and begged you for a chance.
And then you're touching me, a calloused palm against my cheek, still gentle, almost unspeakable, just like you did that night when you told me, even amidst drying my tears, that you didn't think it would work, that feelings are not enough... And I remember all the pain and heartache and suffering you put me through until I finally convinced myself to forget you and move on.
And then I find you looking at me with those soulful eyes and an emotion in them I never really understood before. And, for the first time, I see... I see, and understand.
And as you pull me close and whisper words none-too-different from those I wanted to hear from you that night, I begin to doubt...
I tell myself I no longer love you...
But deep, deep down...
one word...
one look...
one smile...
one touch...
And I know, again...
I'd fall.
End.
Feedback will be appreciated.
Cross-posted at viggorli, _insatiable_ and fellow_shippers...