friends and other annoyances
so yeah, lately i've been realizing that most of my quote unquote "friends" love nothing more than to make themselves feel better by chewing me out in front of an audience or to say things that most people would expecta swift punch in the teeth for and then act like I'm the asshole for taking exception to it. I don't want to go out and party, I dont want to get drunk and act like a fucking idiot, I dont want to do drugs and feell likeshit when the sun comes up and burns into my retinas. I'm tired of people only wanting to be around me when i'm high and being a clown. I'm not here for peoples amusement, I'm a human being with thoughts and feelings and all the other complex systems that distinguish some of us (unfortunately not all of us) from chimpanzees. I love my girlfriend, I am likely going to spend more time with her than anyone else, she actually "knows" me better than most of you do, she bothers to ask me how i'm doing and actually ghives a shit, she is nice to me, she has time for me, she doesnt refuse to hhang out with me just because i'm broke or dont feel like partying. it seems like most of my friends are fair weather and honestly i care more for stormy skies and thunder clouds than i do for sunshine and lollipops anyways. god forbid some of my so called friends should ever call me to do something without asking me to get them something, or even more of a rarity would be just getting called to talk and say hi. I'm fucking sick of it...i want to say that i'm having a shitty day if i'm having a shitty day, i want to say i'm horny if i'm damn well horny. I'm so tired of people only wanting to hear what they want to hear. Fuck it, whos needs enemies....