Take Me with You
((Okay, so I LIED! No Sparow entry. Yet. u_u;; I'm just INCREDIBLY unmotivated to write for Sparow at the moment. She's probably burnt to death by now. ;_; Anyway...um...filler! Yay! Tons of Teenage Angst and sap for everyone!))
I'll admit I'm not a perfect person. I've made my share of mistakes. There are many things I regret, many things I wish I never did...
I left the Tragic Kingdom in the middle of the night several weeks ago. Everyone, the mysterious child and the kindred fortuneteller, was asleep while I snuck out. Though staying probably wouldn't have done me any good, I regret being unable to say my thank yous and good-byes. I was grateful, but I couldn't let them know. That was my mistake.
And you weren't any different.
I never realized it until now, how much I've messed up when the matter came to you. I never stopped to wonder if my actions and mistakes would upset you, but they did, didn't they? You insisted, you cared. These were your signs, a concerned expression, a thoughtful smile. I never understood why you cared so much. Perhaps that's why I kept pushing you away, but you always pushed back. You always were that stubborn, always concerned...I can remember that much...
I made the mistake thinking I could save you. What good am I if I am forced to suffer like this? The truth is, I can save you no more than I can save myself...You can't really blame me. I never chose to be this way.
I thought I could do what everyone else couldn't. I thought I could see beyond what you were. Was I selfish, thinking I stood farther away from the crowd than anyone else could? Could anyone else feel what I felt? Could anyone else be able to feel the atmosphere grow a little lighter when you walked into the room? Could anyone else feel the color rush to their cheeks with an innocent brush of contact? Could anyone else feel the warmth and kindness in your voice?
But those days are over, aren't they? I allowed it all to fade away. That was my mistake...
I suppose I misunderstood her words...I considered the possibilities too carefully. She doesn't think like me. She doesn't make mistakes like I do. I scaled mountains and crossed rivers and searched high and low. I sweat and bled and endured through more pain than anyone could ever hope to avoid, and for what? To chase a memory that refused to be caught?
Do I regret meeting you? No. Never. But how could I ever tell you? How would you ever understand?
I thought I had given up long ago. Countless days and nights of failure upon failure would do that to a person...But now I'm standing upon the threshold once more, bruised, bandaged, and sweating beneath the burning sun. Empty-handed....It's been a while. I'm surprised I even remembered how to find my way back. My hands feel for the metal handle, and the door pushes open with ease. The sunlight roams freely through the open passage as I step inside, breathing the scent of lost thought.
I will forget. This is my mistake. This is what she planned. It frightens me to think this way, knowing my grasp upon happiness will surely fall away from my reach as time passes on.
Perhaps I can't save you.
"Hello? ...I'm back!"
Or perhaps I haven't looked far enough yet.
Pacific sun,
You should have warned us, it gets so cold here,
And the night can freeze before you set a fire
And our flares go unnoticed, diminished
Faded just as soon as they are fired
We are, we are...intrigued.
We are, we are...invisible.
Oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed,
"Take notice, take interest, take me with you!"
But all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight
They're burning the roads they've built to lead us to the light
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies
We're closing our caskets, cold and tight
But I'm dying to live...
I'll admit I'm not a perfect person. I've made my share of mistakes. There are many things I regret, many things I wish I never did...
I left the Tragic Kingdom in the middle of the night several weeks ago. Everyone, the mysterious child and the kindred fortuneteller, was asleep while I snuck out. Though staying probably wouldn't have done me any good, I regret being unable to say my thank yous and good-byes. I was grateful, but I couldn't let them know. That was my mistake.
And you weren't any different.
I never realized it until now, how much I've messed up when the matter came to you. I never stopped to wonder if my actions and mistakes would upset you, but they did, didn't they? You insisted, you cared. These were your signs, a concerned expression, a thoughtful smile. I never understood why you cared so much. Perhaps that's why I kept pushing you away, but you always pushed back. You always were that stubborn, always concerned...I can remember that much...
I made the mistake thinking I could save you. What good am I if I am forced to suffer like this? The truth is, I can save you no more than I can save myself...You can't really blame me. I never chose to be this way.
I thought I could do what everyone else couldn't. I thought I could see beyond what you were. Was I selfish, thinking I stood farther away from the crowd than anyone else could? Could anyone else feel what I felt? Could anyone else be able to feel the atmosphere grow a little lighter when you walked into the room? Could anyone else feel the color rush to their cheeks with an innocent brush of contact? Could anyone else feel the warmth and kindness in your voice?
But those days are over, aren't they? I allowed it all to fade away. That was my mistake...
I suppose I misunderstood her words...I considered the possibilities too carefully. She doesn't think like me. She doesn't make mistakes like I do. I scaled mountains and crossed rivers and searched high and low. I sweat and bled and endured through more pain than anyone could ever hope to avoid, and for what? To chase a memory that refused to be caught?
Do I regret meeting you? No. Never. But how could I ever tell you? How would you ever understand?
I thought I had given up long ago. Countless days and nights of failure upon failure would do that to a person...But now I'm standing upon the threshold once more, bruised, bandaged, and sweating beneath the burning sun. Empty-handed....It's been a while. I'm surprised I even remembered how to find my way back. My hands feel for the metal handle, and the door pushes open with ease. The sunlight roams freely through the open passage as I step inside, breathing the scent of lost thought.
I will forget. This is my mistake. This is what she planned. It frightens me to think this way, knowing my grasp upon happiness will surely fall away from my reach as time passes on.
Perhaps I can't save you.
"Hello? ...I'm back!"
Or perhaps I haven't looked far enough yet.
Pacific sun,
You should have warned us, it gets so cold here,
And the night can freeze before you set a fire
And our flares go unnoticed, diminished
Faded just as soon as they are fired
We are, we are...intrigued.
We are, we are...invisible.
Oh how we've shouted, how we've screamed,
"Take notice, take interest, take me with you!"
But all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight
They're burning the roads they've built to lead us to the light
And blinding our hearts with their shining lies
We're closing our caskets, cold and tight
But I'm dying to live...