(no subject)
I like to think as a human, I have the power to transcend nature. All around me I see evidence of this. Electricity, mass transit, medical technology, communications, the internet, you name it. Humans are a bunch of nature transcendotrons. So why should I follow the natural patterns of love, if every fibre of my existance tells me its wrong?
I'm done with ketamine. Its not doing anything beneficial for me, and has had very limited benefits over the last year. Its one last gift to me was assisting me with some sort of pineal activation. Assisting ME with it. That means I can do it on my own, and now its time to learn. Other than that its been standing in the way of my true love and I, and i've been a damn fool, letting it do so.
While I may do it again in the future, I have no desire to think about when, or anticipate how cool it will be. I want to actually come back down to earth, and not be seen as the guy with the drug problem. I want to reclaim the stability that I know is inherent in me. I want to do this for myself, because I know I deserve it. I want to not feel like a slave to any substance that can only be obtained on the black market. (Prohibition is the wrong approach, but there are reasons why these drugs were outlawed, other than controlling the status quo)
I look at the scene I've been a part of for the last 8 years, and I see so many souls abusing what could be powerful tools. Like picking your teeth with a jackhammer, with no one around to guide you, it may seem like a good idea. and at first it could be. but lack of knowing the big picture leads to wasted time, braincells, relationships, lost sleep, job opportunities and wellbeing.
As much as I would love to just be off the grid and watch this doomed paradigm of existance crash and burn from a distance, it takes money to do so. Either that or the balls to sell everything and be homeless. And who wants to do that?
I feel ready to start jumping thru the corporate hoops like a good hamster, make some pay, deal with my habits so I can save it (Because lets face it... ALL my financial problems stem from my drug habits. All of them.) And then after running in my wheel for long enough maybe I'll have the funds to escape for awhile.
I've heard mexico is the shit.
Theres also Europe, which I want to properly visit. IE without the parents. Lots of relatives in Holland who would probably love to show me around.
I should probably just work a job, keep working on myself, and save $$$ until 2012 has passed and the world hasn't ended. Then maybe I'll feel more comfortable about putting more funds away for pension, for the time when I Don't have to work. (side note... I hate knowing something is probably not very true, but a part of you clinging to the belief, and not knowing how to make it let the fuck go)
Ahh, being old is going to be the best ever.
I can just picture it.
Listening to venetian snares on the oldies station off my FLAC interent radio on the porch of my levitating boathouse, bitching about those damn 3 eyed kids and their cyberap polkountryrock muzik. Ahh that will be the life.
I danced my ass off last night.
Sober dancing is the more fulfilling than any dancing on drugs I have done (except maybe on acid at an outdoor summer party, but thats completely different altogether)
I smoked pawt and drank a couple 5 hour energy shots and thats it.
I watched some people k hole, probabably unexpectedly, and thoroughly enjoyed watching how fucked up they were, feeling glad I wasn't.
Best feeling ever.
Also connected with a couple new people (including Odie, the 16 armed Jack, who lives very close, and this dude in a reggae band)
We plan on building a Burnaby Massive... coz lets face it. Burnaby kicks Vancouvers ass right now. And you should all move here.
Watch for info on a VINYL ORGY at my house, because i fucking miss records. No serato scratch or other timecode vinyl Just pure RECORDS~!!!!
I'm done with ketamine. Its not doing anything beneficial for me, and has had very limited benefits over the last year. Its one last gift to me was assisting me with some sort of pineal activation. Assisting ME with it. That means I can do it on my own, and now its time to learn. Other than that its been standing in the way of my true love and I, and i've been a damn fool, letting it do so.
While I may do it again in the future, I have no desire to think about when, or anticipate how cool it will be. I want to actually come back down to earth, and not be seen as the guy with the drug problem. I want to reclaim the stability that I know is inherent in me. I want to do this for myself, because I know I deserve it. I want to not feel like a slave to any substance that can only be obtained on the black market. (Prohibition is the wrong approach, but there are reasons why these drugs were outlawed, other than controlling the status quo)
I look at the scene I've been a part of for the last 8 years, and I see so many souls abusing what could be powerful tools. Like picking your teeth with a jackhammer, with no one around to guide you, it may seem like a good idea. and at first it could be. but lack of knowing the big picture leads to wasted time, braincells, relationships, lost sleep, job opportunities and wellbeing.
As much as I would love to just be off the grid and watch this doomed paradigm of existance crash and burn from a distance, it takes money to do so. Either that or the balls to sell everything and be homeless. And who wants to do that?
I feel ready to start jumping thru the corporate hoops like a good hamster, make some pay, deal with my habits so I can save it (Because lets face it... ALL my financial problems stem from my drug habits. All of them.) And then after running in my wheel for long enough maybe I'll have the funds to escape for awhile.
I've heard mexico is the shit.
Theres also Europe, which I want to properly visit. IE without the parents. Lots of relatives in Holland who would probably love to show me around.
I should probably just work a job, keep working on myself, and save $$$ until 2012 has passed and the world hasn't ended. Then maybe I'll feel more comfortable about putting more funds away for pension, for the time when I Don't have to work. (side note... I hate knowing something is probably not very true, but a part of you clinging to the belief, and not knowing how to make it let the fuck go)
Ahh, being old is going to be the best ever.
I can just picture it.
Listening to venetian snares on the oldies station off my FLAC interent radio on the porch of my levitating boathouse, bitching about those damn 3 eyed kids and their cyberap polkountryrock muzik. Ahh that will be the life.
I danced my ass off last night.
Sober dancing is the more fulfilling than any dancing on drugs I have done (except maybe on acid at an outdoor summer party, but thats completely different altogether)
I smoked pawt and drank a couple 5 hour energy shots and thats it.
I watched some people k hole, probabably unexpectedly, and thoroughly enjoyed watching how fucked up they were, feeling glad I wasn't.
Best feeling ever.
Also connected with a couple new people (including Odie, the 16 armed Jack, who lives very close, and this dude in a reggae band)
We plan on building a Burnaby Massive... coz lets face it. Burnaby kicks Vancouvers ass right now. And you should all move here.
Watch for info on a VINYL ORGY at my house, because i fucking miss records. No serato scratch or other timecode vinyl Just pure RECORDS~!!!!