Oh Wow [2]
Title:Oh Wow
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: up to NC-17
Pairing:MULTIPLE!
POV:3rd
Summary:Brendon's been acting strange lately and its worrying everyone. Nobody can understand why someone like him, would suddenly be depressed always.Can the guys figure out what's bothering him before it's too late?
Disclaimer:*glances over at naked boys tied up around room*... Define own...
Author Notes:So, now we'll go with the next chapter!
WARNING:mentions of self harm, as well as mentions of rape. You've been warned.
When they were riding back to the bus in a cab, bags full of stuff all around them, Spencer looked over at Brendon, who looked exceptionally less troubled than he had earlier. “Bren? Was the whole sexuality issue what’s been bothering you?” he asked.
Brendon’s expression immediately darkened and he bit his lip. “No.” he replied sadly. “I wish so, but no, what’s bothering me is still bothering me, I’m just… I don’t know… I kind of had my mind on how much fun we’ve been having today.” He said looking dejected again.
Spencer bit his lip. “Aw, I’m sorry I brought it back up.” he said sliding his arms around Brendon pulling him into a loose hug. Brendon allowed himself to be held, but made a small movement of protest.
Spencer pulled back and looked at him questioningly as they got to the bus. “You alright?” he asked, having never known Brendon to refuse a hug.
Brendon nodded unconvincingly and climbed out. He just grabbed his bags and walked towards the bus. Spencer followed him and he stopped before opening the door and turned to Spencer. “Hey, Spence?” he asked. “Can you please not tell anybody about me being bisexual?” he asked. Spencer nodded and he lifted the handle before turning back to him. “Oh, and Spence?” he said. “Thanks for today. I haven’t had that much fun in forever. And I promise, its not your fault I’m all emo-bitchy right now, so don’t think it’s your fault I’m all pouty again.” he said forcing a small smile as he walked up the steps onto the bus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brendon walked to the bunk room to put up his stuff. Ryan and Jon snagged Spencer and pulled him off into the kitchen area.
“So, did you figure out what’s bothering him?” Jon asked.
“Is he still all depressed? He looked like it when he walked by.” Ryan added.
“No, I didn’t figure out what’s bothering him, but he wasn’t all weird at all until I brought up that he’s been acting depressed on the way home, which I guess reminded him something and he was sad again. But while we were at the mall we had a lot of fun and actually talked for the first time in weeks.” Spencer said sadly. “I don’t like him being sad.” He looked at Ryan. “He wouldn’t let me hug him!” he said seriously.
Ryan’s jaw dropped. “He never refuses hugs.” he said, confused.
Jon looked between them. “Is this a bad thing then?” he asked them.
Spencer nodded sadly. “Brendon always loves hugging me. I mean, he loves everybody’s hugs, but he really likes when I hug him for some reason, probably cause I’m squishier than Ryan.” he said pouting. “And he wont let me hug him.” he said crossing his arms. He looked at Ryan. “But he still says I didn’t do anything. So why the hell is he being weird around me.” he said.
Ryan shrugged. “I have no idea. I can try to talk to him.” he offered before standing up and walking towards the back of the bus.
Spencer and Jon remained on the couch. Spencer pouted up at Jon. “I don’t like him being like this around me. I mean, we’ve never been as close as he and Ryan are, or as me and Ryan are for that fact, but I still don’t like him shying away from me.” he said sadly.
Jon gave Spencer a hug. “Maybe it has to do with you, but you didn’t do anything? Maybe he knows something or something like that that he can’t tell you. I mean, he obviously really cares about your friendship a lot. Maybe he’s afraid he’d tell you something you aren’t supposed to know.” Jon offered.
Spencer shrugged. “That makes very little sense if you want to know the truth. But I don’t have any better idea.” He said sadly. “I don’t like this sad, depressed version of the psychotically hyperactive kid.” he said.
Jon laughed. “Yeah, I haven’t exactly seen much of the psychotically hyperactive kid you speak of.” he said.
As if to add emphasis Brendon walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. He glanced over at them curled up on the couch and Spencer thought he saw a pained look on Brendon’s face as he turned and walked back into the bunk room. Spencer groaned. “You see? That! What is that? Why is he like that?” he asked in frustration. “He says over and over that it’s not my fault, but he looks at me like that!” he said annoyed.
Jon shrugged. “He’ll come around eventually. I’m sure he will.” he said
Spencer sighed. “I hope so.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brendon came back into the bunk room and threw himself into his bunk, ignoring Ryan’s questions, and pulled the curtain shut behind him.
Ryan pulled back the curtain and sat on the edge of Brendon’s bunk. “Okay, seriously, the emo drama queen thing is getting old. What’s wrong with you? And don’t say nothing!” He demanded.
Brendon turned and looked at Ryan. “Okay, then I wont say anything at all.” He said with tears in his eyes. “I’m not telling you, Ryan.” he said shaking his head.
Ryan growled slightly. “Dude, you have to tell SOMEBODY what’s wrong with you!” He looked at Brendon through narrowed eyes. “You aren’t doing it again are you?” he asked.
Brendon bit his lip and looked away. “No.” he said weakly. Ryan’s eyes widened and he grabbed Brendon’s foot. “DON’T!” Brendon yelped as Ryan pulled up his pants leg. Ryan’s mouth fell open as he saw scarlet gashes across Brendon’s heels and ankles.
Ryan looked back up at Brendon horrified and Brendon burst into tears. “Bren?” Ryan asked weakly. “You stopped a year ago… why?” he asked sadly.
Brendon shook his head and didn’t want to look at Ryan. “Because… I can’t help it. I need it. I know I shouldn’t, I know I never should have, but I need it now more than ever.” he said sliding his pants leg back down to cover the deep scarlet lines that crisscrossed his lower legs and feet. “I want to stop, but it’s harder than it was last time.” he said.
Ryan was shaking and pale as he pulled Brendon into a hug. “Brendon, I’m gonna keep asking you, but can you please just not do it anymore? If you keep on doing it, I’m gonna have to tell Spencer and Jon because I’m not gonna keep on keeping this secret if you’re doing it again.” he said.
Brendon jumped up. “NO! You can’t tell Spencer!” He said fearfully. “Please, don’t tell him!” he said.
Ryan growled in frustration. “You say it’s not Spencer’s fault you’re so depressed, then why do you freak out when I mention telling him about you hurting yourself?” he asked.
Brendon sniffled slightly. “You just can’t tell him. I don’t care if you tell Jon, but don’t tell SPENCER!” he practically begged.
Ryan stood up and threw his hands up. “Whatever. But I swear, if you don’t get your shit straight and tell SOMEBODY what’s bothering you so we can help you, I’m going to get you a fucking therapist!” he said angrily as he slammed the door behind him.
Brendon curled up in his bunk. He brought his arms up to his head and held his fists balled up behind his head, fighting the urge to hit his head against the wall. In his pitiful state, he lay alone in his bunk and cried.
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: up to NC-17
Pairing:MULTIPLE!
POV:3rd
Summary:Brendon's been acting strange lately and its worrying everyone. Nobody can understand why someone like him, would suddenly be depressed always.Can the guys figure out what's bothering him before it's too late?
Disclaimer:*glances over at naked boys tied up around room*... Define own...
Author Notes:So, now we'll go with the next chapter!
WARNING:mentions of self harm, as well as mentions of rape. You've been warned.
When they were riding back to the bus in a cab, bags full of stuff all around them, Spencer looked over at Brendon, who looked exceptionally less troubled than he had earlier. “Bren? Was the whole sexuality issue what’s been bothering you?” he asked.
Brendon’s expression immediately darkened and he bit his lip. “No.” he replied sadly. “I wish so, but no, what’s bothering me is still bothering me, I’m just… I don’t know… I kind of had my mind on how much fun we’ve been having today.” He said looking dejected again.
Spencer bit his lip. “Aw, I’m sorry I brought it back up.” he said sliding his arms around Brendon pulling him into a loose hug. Brendon allowed himself to be held, but made a small movement of protest.
Spencer pulled back and looked at him questioningly as they got to the bus. “You alright?” he asked, having never known Brendon to refuse a hug.
Brendon nodded unconvincingly and climbed out. He just grabbed his bags and walked towards the bus. Spencer followed him and he stopped before opening the door and turned to Spencer. “Hey, Spence?” he asked. “Can you please not tell anybody about me being bisexual?” he asked. Spencer nodded and he lifted the handle before turning back to him. “Oh, and Spence?” he said. “Thanks for today. I haven’t had that much fun in forever. And I promise, its not your fault I’m all emo-bitchy right now, so don’t think it’s your fault I’m all pouty again.” he said forcing a small smile as he walked up the steps onto the bus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brendon walked to the bunk room to put up his stuff. Ryan and Jon snagged Spencer and pulled him off into the kitchen area.
“So, did you figure out what’s bothering him?” Jon asked.
“Is he still all depressed? He looked like it when he walked by.” Ryan added.
“No, I didn’t figure out what’s bothering him, but he wasn’t all weird at all until I brought up that he’s been acting depressed on the way home, which I guess reminded him something and he was sad again. But while we were at the mall we had a lot of fun and actually talked for the first time in weeks.” Spencer said sadly. “I don’t like him being sad.” He looked at Ryan. “He wouldn’t let me hug him!” he said seriously.
Ryan’s jaw dropped. “He never refuses hugs.” he said, confused.
Jon looked between them. “Is this a bad thing then?” he asked them.
Spencer nodded sadly. “Brendon always loves hugging me. I mean, he loves everybody’s hugs, but he really likes when I hug him for some reason, probably cause I’m squishier than Ryan.” he said pouting. “And he wont let me hug him.” he said crossing his arms. He looked at Ryan. “But he still says I didn’t do anything. So why the hell is he being weird around me.” he said.
Ryan shrugged. “I have no idea. I can try to talk to him.” he offered before standing up and walking towards the back of the bus.
Spencer and Jon remained on the couch. Spencer pouted up at Jon. “I don’t like him being like this around me. I mean, we’ve never been as close as he and Ryan are, or as me and Ryan are for that fact, but I still don’t like him shying away from me.” he said sadly.
Jon gave Spencer a hug. “Maybe it has to do with you, but you didn’t do anything? Maybe he knows something or something like that that he can’t tell you. I mean, he obviously really cares about your friendship a lot. Maybe he’s afraid he’d tell you something you aren’t supposed to know.” Jon offered.
Spencer shrugged. “That makes very little sense if you want to know the truth. But I don’t have any better idea.” He said sadly. “I don’t like this sad, depressed version of the psychotically hyperactive kid.” he said.
Jon laughed. “Yeah, I haven’t exactly seen much of the psychotically hyperactive kid you speak of.” he said.
As if to add emphasis Brendon walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. He glanced over at them curled up on the couch and Spencer thought he saw a pained look on Brendon’s face as he turned and walked back into the bunk room. Spencer groaned. “You see? That! What is that? Why is he like that?” he asked in frustration. “He says over and over that it’s not my fault, but he looks at me like that!” he said annoyed.
Jon shrugged. “He’ll come around eventually. I’m sure he will.” he said
Spencer sighed. “I hope so.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brendon came back into the bunk room and threw himself into his bunk, ignoring Ryan’s questions, and pulled the curtain shut behind him.
Ryan pulled back the curtain and sat on the edge of Brendon’s bunk. “Okay, seriously, the emo drama queen thing is getting old. What’s wrong with you? And don’t say nothing!” He demanded.
Brendon turned and looked at Ryan. “Okay, then I wont say anything at all.” He said with tears in his eyes. “I’m not telling you, Ryan.” he said shaking his head.
Ryan growled slightly. “Dude, you have to tell SOMEBODY what’s wrong with you!” He looked at Brendon through narrowed eyes. “You aren’t doing it again are you?” he asked.
Brendon bit his lip and looked away. “No.” he said weakly. Ryan’s eyes widened and he grabbed Brendon’s foot. “DON’T!” Brendon yelped as Ryan pulled up his pants leg. Ryan’s mouth fell open as he saw scarlet gashes across Brendon’s heels and ankles.
Ryan looked back up at Brendon horrified and Brendon burst into tears. “Bren?” Ryan asked weakly. “You stopped a year ago… why?” he asked sadly.
Brendon shook his head and didn’t want to look at Ryan. “Because… I can’t help it. I need it. I know I shouldn’t, I know I never should have, but I need it now more than ever.” he said sliding his pants leg back down to cover the deep scarlet lines that crisscrossed his lower legs and feet. “I want to stop, but it’s harder than it was last time.” he said.
Ryan was shaking and pale as he pulled Brendon into a hug. “Brendon, I’m gonna keep asking you, but can you please just not do it anymore? If you keep on doing it, I’m gonna have to tell Spencer and Jon because I’m not gonna keep on keeping this secret if you’re doing it again.” he said.
Brendon jumped up. “NO! You can’t tell Spencer!” He said fearfully. “Please, don’t tell him!” he said.
Ryan growled in frustration. “You say it’s not Spencer’s fault you’re so depressed, then why do you freak out when I mention telling him about you hurting yourself?” he asked.
Brendon sniffled slightly. “You just can’t tell him. I don’t care if you tell Jon, but don’t tell SPENCER!” he practically begged.
Ryan stood up and threw his hands up. “Whatever. But I swear, if you don’t get your shit straight and tell SOMEBODY what’s bothering you so we can help you, I’m going to get you a fucking therapist!” he said angrily as he slammed the door behind him.
Brendon curled up in his bunk. He brought his arms up to his head and held his fists balled up behind his head, fighting the urge to hit his head against the wall. In his pitiful state, he lay alone in his bunk and cried.