Because it's getting closer.
Hey all.
Haven't really posted anything of any real substance in a while, but that's because I've been busy with school and various other odds and ends.
Like applying for jobs, finishing my JET application, etc.
Geezus, is it already time for this?
I haven't really been feeling like myself these past few days, and I think I know why at this point.
I guess the looming shadow of work and graduation has started to get at me and freak me out a bit. Part of it is because I've been enjoying the year so much, but it's going by so fast. I either live with, or near the people I care about, every weekend has been a blast, and just in general it's everything I wanted from senior year despite all the stress.
But I can't help but thinking about the other side of it all; the last time. Everyday just kinda creeps closer and closer to reality, and I find myself feeling rather melancholy about it all. I guess the times that stick out most in my head are times like on Halloween night. Yeah, the party was fun and all but I'm not big on huge groups of people I don't know very well. But like, after the party, when me and Nestor were just shooting the shit, and then Erin and Lar came back and we just chilled for a bit, that was a blast. I love those moments. I guess I'm just gonna miss them.
But as me and Nestor were talking about, this portion of our lives is so small compared to the rest of it, who the hell knows what's gonna happen. I suppose I need to get used to this feeling of uncertainty that I've normally managed to avoid all my life. I've always had such a clear plan as to what to do next, where to go, how to get there. Everything in High School was done with a very specific goal or target in mind. That isn't there anymore. No more hand holding, no more arrows pointing at the place I need to head to next. No hints, just me.
As a result I've been having these very weird dreams about senior year of highschool, where Rachel seems to feature prominently in every single one. I've definitely seen her a lot more this year than any other, and I actually make active attempts to go and chill with her for bits at a time. It's funny to think that I was truly head over heels for her for four whole years. But at this point many if not all of my fond senior year memories can be attributed to her. She's the one who made it bearable for me because lord knows the rest of those jackasses didn't.
In any case, all this has had me in a strange kind of mood, and waking up this morning just seemed to hammer that right in.
I should get to making a road map or some shit, lord knows I'm gonna need it.
Well, if you stuck with it this far, my hat is off to you good ladies and gentlemen. I just needed to get that out of me.
All right, reading to do and lots of other shit as well.
Peace,
-Ryo
Haven't really posted anything of any real substance in a while, but that's because I've been busy with school and various other odds and ends.
Like applying for jobs, finishing my JET application, etc.
Geezus, is it already time for this?
I haven't really been feeling like myself these past few days, and I think I know why at this point.
I guess the looming shadow of work and graduation has started to get at me and freak me out a bit. Part of it is because I've been enjoying the year so much, but it's going by so fast. I either live with, or near the people I care about, every weekend has been a blast, and just in general it's everything I wanted from senior year despite all the stress.
But I can't help but thinking about the other side of it all; the last time. Everyday just kinda creeps closer and closer to reality, and I find myself feeling rather melancholy about it all. I guess the times that stick out most in my head are times like on Halloween night. Yeah, the party was fun and all but I'm not big on huge groups of people I don't know very well. But like, after the party, when me and Nestor were just shooting the shit, and then Erin and Lar came back and we just chilled for a bit, that was a blast. I love those moments. I guess I'm just gonna miss them.
But as me and Nestor were talking about, this portion of our lives is so small compared to the rest of it, who the hell knows what's gonna happen. I suppose I need to get used to this feeling of uncertainty that I've normally managed to avoid all my life. I've always had such a clear plan as to what to do next, where to go, how to get there. Everything in High School was done with a very specific goal or target in mind. That isn't there anymore. No more hand holding, no more arrows pointing at the place I need to head to next. No hints, just me.
As a result I've been having these very weird dreams about senior year of highschool, where Rachel seems to feature prominently in every single one. I've definitely seen her a lot more this year than any other, and I actually make active attempts to go and chill with her for bits at a time. It's funny to think that I was truly head over heels for her for four whole years. But at this point many if not all of my fond senior year memories can be attributed to her. She's the one who made it bearable for me because lord knows the rest of those jackasses didn't.
In any case, all this has had me in a strange kind of mood, and waking up this morning just seemed to hammer that right in.
I should get to making a road map or some shit, lord knows I'm gonna need it.
Well, if you stuck with it this far, my hat is off to you good ladies and gentlemen. I just needed to get that out of me.
All right, reading to do and lots of other shit as well.
Peace,
-Ryo