Gaining Your Love: a Heisei Kumi fanfic (2/14)
Author: ryosukekoibito
Pairing: Ariyama
Rating: PG-13
Genre:Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone, c'mon guys.Summary:Long before the Heisei Kumi knew Keito Daiki makes it his mission to make the stunning Yamada Ryosuke fall in love with him, and it's going to be much harger than Daiki expected. So! For anyone who read my Heisei Kumi fic, this is the ( Read more... )
Comments 9
~their bond <333
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Thank you for your comment~ :)
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I can't believe you wrote it! I'm so proud of you ;w; I really can't help flailing over the goodness that is just Ariyama and I definitely tip my hat in the direction of slow-building relationships; after all, half the fun is knowing how it all started!
Go get 'im, Daiki! The red thread shows that you've got the basics down pat. You've just got to bundle it up and lasso Yamada before he gets away. Don't worry, he can't run too far; I'll be blocking his every move to make sure you capture him swiftly and securely. ;>
PS: It's a little hard to read how Yamada's feeling about all this. I get it that he's conflicted and doesn't trust himself to make the right decisions, but I think you can add more depth to that. As much as Daiki avoids being harsh on the boy and how Yamada avoids Daiki from time to time, I still have a vote of confidence for more interactions between the two. (〃ﾟ∇ﾟ〃)
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I'm trying something new incorporating dreams into this fic. Do you like it?
You critiqued it! Omigosh, thank you! I'm so glad you left the PS. As for Yamada's feelings, I know it's kinda confusing right now,I'm sorry. I do have a plan to bring Yamada's thoughts to that and incorporate him more as a human being and less as an object of affection. I'll be a bit though.
Thank you! Your comment made me so happy, you have no idea.
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I think incorporating dreams into this is a wonderful idea. Is it a new style of writing you wish to try out, or something that occurs at the end of every chapter? :>
Haha, I didn't expect my critique to be accepted so openly. xD Yamada's feelings right now aren't really confusing, they're more of unclear, and yes there's a difference. It's just a little vague and I think you just need to add a few more sentences about him in upcoming chapters, that's all. :D
Glad I made you happy ♥
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The significance of the red and grey of the ribbon, how Daiki felt, how Yamada responded, all the insecurities..
I will shut up now n wait for next chap :)
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You like the dream? It's a new concept for me, incorporating things like the dream.
Thank you for reading and commenting, it makes me happy~
Oh! And I love your icon~
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AW don't cry Daiki! T.T Or I'll cry too! He's trying so HARD!!!! I totally blame Yuto for waking Yamada up, Daiki was only putting Yamada in bed DX
He's so GENTLE with Yamada so sweet!
Ryuu is forever an old-man with his Maturity! XD
I thought the ending was interesting! I think I get it, but then I don't... I'll have to wait and see!
I will (try) patiently waiting for the next chapter! XD
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Yes, it kinda is Yuto's fault. But he is being a good, slightly overprotective friend, ne?
Daiki is trying on this being gentle thing. He's a big bad Yakuza member, and he's not used to being so nice.
Yes, Ryu is very mature, he's just a little kid, but he gives them all advice, ne?
I was trying out something new with the ending! It's kinda metaphorical, and I'd never written dreams before, so I thought I'd give it a shot!
I look forward to your comment on the next chapter!
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