Presuppositions
We've been together for so long, so much longer than I have expected us to be. It started as casual dating which turned out to be more serious after each successful meeting. Chocolates were showered, flowers with different meanings were delivered in front of our door every morning, and he always took me by surprise by bringing me to different beautiful places both known and unknown to the public to date there. I am happy when I am with him and I know I’ll never look for anyone else to fill that space he has inside my heart.
“Satomi, you have something on your, uhm...” he trailed off, pointing a spot near my lips.
I picked my spoon up and held it against the spot he pointed. There was a trail of chocolate trickling down my chin. Before I could even get my handkerchief out of my pocket, he was already wiping it with his own. I blushed.
“I - it’s okay…” I said, my face turning into a deeper shade with each dab he does.
He giggled and I felt my heart flutter.
He was always like that. And I liked it that way. He’s always made me feel special.
But I guess it didn’t mean that he feels the same way towards me.
I saw him right there, drinking with another gorgeous individual. Anyone would be led to believe that they are together. The way they look at each other, the way each whisper on the ear makes the other chuckle, and the way they smiled lovingly whenever they had finished a glass of their drink.
I was with my friends. He was with his own ‘friend’ and it made my ears fume. They looked…perfect, so perfect it would’ve made me puke. I didn’t want to see this. I didn’t want to go through this. I told my friends not to bring me here. I told them it was a bad idea. But like always, they ignored me.
I remained quiet, which was a hard thing to do. I never do quiet. If only I was a bit stronger, the smoothie glass I was holding would’ve been crushed into bits. The rage that crawls over my skin was so thick that I could shave it off and top it to their drinks so they would choke on my fury.
“Get. Me. Out. Of. Here.” I tried to put on my stern face to convince them. Lucky for me, it worked. In less than a minute, we were out of the bar. He would be sooo dead tomorrow.
I had the perfect argument in mind. I was sure he wouldn’t, or rather he couldn’t do any rebuttal to whatever it is that I’ll be saying to him. I was planning to do it straight to the point - no more beating around the stupid freaking bushes because that would pain me more. The truth isn’t that ideal, I told myself. So I was hoping to get it out of my chest, let him cry with me as he said his sorry and we would move on. If he wouldn’t show any remorse, I would just break it off with him. As simple as that.
But the night didn’t end without a weeping session. Under the covers, I willed myself to sleep; wishing that tomorrow would come in a hurry.
We were supposed to meet at the park today, but I didn’t feel like coming. The sleepless-weeping-night didn’t help in perking up my mood. But I have to do it, I have to face him since sooner or later it would happen and I’d rather have it sooner.
Actually, I wasn't expecting him to come at all. But when I arrived, he was sitting on a cemented bench, looking so full of himself. I took a deep breath, encouraged myself to make this one hell of a one-sided debate. I strode toward him.
“Hey.” He smiled and stood as soon as he saw me.
I greeted him with a slap.
As expected his eyes were full of shock. His left hand quickly reached out to the cheek that I slapped with full force. With face full of confusion and eyes almost shedding tears, I could feel my lips tugging into a smirk. This was exactly how I planned it to be. This was how it’s supposed to be. Now all I need is to tell him what I saw and what I feel about it. I need to voice it all out or else I’ll suffer. Tell him how much it hurts and hurt him back as much as I can.
I willed myself to tell him once and for all the things I saw, the things that enraged me, the reason for that one slap that was painful for me to deliver. But I was surprised when he approached me then gently caressed my face. I tried swatting his hands away but he's persistent in wiping the corner of my eyes. And that's when I realized that I was already crying.
“What’s wrong?” his voice seemed so distant since my whole head was still about to explode with rage.
I didn’t answer.
“Hey, tell me.”
“I - I saw you last night.” I managed to articulate in between sobs, indignantly. “With that girl.”
“What girl?”
“That girl you were smothering last night. You were all over her.”
“I was what?!”
But the moment I heard him echo what I saw in disbelief, I snapped.
“Don’t you dare play dumb with me! I know what I saw!”
“I don’t remember anything…” he said.
His words and fresh ire surged through my veins, running to my head that nearly made me implode. “You denying scum! Oh, let me guess, was she just one of your dates last night? How many more did you have? How many more of us have you been lying to?”
“Wait, are you talking about Tomoyo?” He seemed to have been holding back his laughter.
“Oh, so that’s her name.” I said scornfully.
“She’s my cousin.”
"I knew it! You were having an affair with your- c-cousin?!" I blinked once, twice to digest the information given.
"Yes, that's right. She's just my cousin"
“B-but I know she was fawning over you and you mister, definitely liked her attention to you.” I crossed my arms across my chest. “THAT was definitely what cousins do” I said sternly, not giving up my principled cause.
He held my arms and smiled. “You’re jealous.”
“No.” I pouted. Hell, I’m jealous you idiot!
“That was the first time we’ve seen each other in years and in her exhilaration she hugged me.”
“Uh-huh.” I shrugged.
He hugged me and whispered in my ear. “You look really pretty when you’re jealous.”
“So you mean I’m not pretty when I’m not jealous?!”
He laughed heartily. “Of course not. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve laid these eyes on.”
“Yeah save your beautiful comment since I became ugly because of you! Just look at these puffy eyes…They won’t be like that if not for you! You think crying over you is a funny thing? You don’t know how much it hurts when I saw you with her…”
“So you admit that you were jealous?”
“Of your gorgeous cousin who looked nothing like you? Yes.” I finally admitted.
“Don’t be jealous. She may be gorgeous but that’s because of our genes. It’s innate. She just got it on the different side of the family.” I glared at him as he produced another chuckle then abruptly stopped it when he saw me.
“You are really the most beautiful lady I’ve seen.” He continued. “Those eyes, they are the ones that have drawn me to you. So I don’t care if they’re puffy or not. These eye bags, I know it is the proof that you love me dearly. And those tears earlier just showed me how important I am to you.” He said as he kissed each of my eyes as if to heal them.
“Sorry I was jealous.” I said, swallowing a mouthful of pride.
He shook his head. “No. I should thank you, you know. By being jealous, it only means that you love me so much and you don’t want to lose me. I love you too.”
“You’re presumptuous.” I muttered but stopped when he leaned in for a kiss.