Meme time!
So I thought "what am I going to do today that doesn't involve anything I actually should be doing today?" and I came up with "pretend you actually use your LJ more than once in a millennium". Which is great, 'cause I'm pretty sure I'm long overdue some photo posts. Expect some spam from me today!
But first!
Stolen from fahye,
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I don't get angry very often, to be honest. I get irritated a lot, in which case I bitch about it to the next closest person to get it off my chest and then forget all about it.
If I'm angry at you, you won't be told. My jaw will clench, I'll avoid eye contact and communicate only in short, clipped responses to outright questions. Apparently this isn't as obvious as it sounds, since most people don't seem to notice.
If I'm very angry at someone else, there's usually a lot of flailing and swear words involved while I earbash you about it.
If I'm very, very angry at you - which is rare - you'll know immediately, because the burning rage will be enough to overcome the social phobia and the core belief that if I speak up I'll lose friends. Under these circumstances you'll probably get a concise and pissy email. To which fahye can attest. :P
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
If I'm ranting about someone else, just nod and smile and make noises in the appropriate places. If I'm angry at you, just leave it be (and leave me be) - I'll get over it eventually but not if you keep talking at me. If it's the very, very angry, FIX IT, because I don't get that far along unless I feel I've been seriously and objectively wronged. If you make the effort, I get over it quickly.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Go away. My mother is literally the only person in the world who can hug or comfort me without the social phobia and beliefs about self-worth or obligations kicking in, which just distresses me more. And before anyone gets upset about that, this stuff kicks in with my Dad for god's sake. No need to feel bad about it. :P
Anyway, I won't want to talk about it. Little tokens like a chocolate bar or something would be appreciated, but not face-to-face: if I'm emotionally wrung out the social phobia will be worse, so I'll be avoiding people.
If you can locate a kitten, this will be readily accepted.
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
Nup. If you're going to bring up something like religion, settle in for the long haul. Other than that, I'll roll with basically anything. Or happily answer any kind of sensitive question because I apparently have no self-preservation skills.
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
Only migraines really knock me over, in which case just silence, darkness and a bed are all I need. If it's something else, like a cold, I'll probably whine about it but feel free to ignore. I whine a lot.
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
I love getting things in the mail - letters, postcards, packages (man I have never gotten a care package. I feel so deprived!) - whatever, I'll probably get so excited I'll cling to it for days.
I also love "look at this awesome shit I found on the internet!" emails, because it means someone's randomly thought of me during their day. <3 I also hoard compliments like nobody's business, so mentioning a photo that you liked or somesuch is a surefire way to keep me happy for days.
AND ART. Of any kind! I have a little collection and looking over them always makes me happy. Most recently, rotae's gift (Hawkeye and McCoy <3) along with Alice's drawing of Starfleet!Mel nearly made me die of the joy. :D
7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
Actually the birthday post over at Elite of the Fleet was pretty much the best thing ever. ;____;
I'm not good at receiving presents. I'm really not. I'll tell you I don't want them for two reasons: firstly, I feel they instill a sense of obligation to return the favour and I can't guarantee that if I'm broke when your birthday rolls around, and secondly, I get painfully anxious about opening them in front of you. It's goddamn terrifying.
But honestly, I do actually like getting them because I get so few. Even my Dad can't remember my birthday! But if it's really about me and not the personal sense of gratification people get from giving stuff, you'll tell me I can open it later. I would be giddy with gratefulness inside.
Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Of course! Books on travel or photography are always welcome. I have a odd obsession with boxes, or things with compartments (especially secret ones!). I have like five hundred pop culture obsessions - pick one, hit ebay and buy whatever comes up and I'll probably love it. BAKED GOODS.
I'm generally touched by basically anything (lol someone at college gave me a hard-boiled egg coloured in with pink texta on my birthday and I was so happy), but if you're looking for something that's really appreciated long-term...I don't wear a lot of jewelry. I don't drink - you name it, I don't drink it; alcohol, coffee and tea alike (except Oolong).
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
Not that I can think of! These few years are a particularly difficult time in my life though, so go easy on me.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
Nup.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
UM. To be honest I'll be so terrified of treading on anyone's toes that I'll be happy without anything beyond the basic necessities of a bathroom and a clean towel. I'm a really fussy eater (though the extent to which I express it depends on how well I know you) - I've grown up with very simple meals and textures so anything more complicated unnerves me. On the plus side, I don't eat much at all so usually I can find some part of the meal that's enough. XD I always have a tiny bit of chocolate to hand after meals, so if I'm deprived of this the consequences might be ugly.
ALSO. MORNINGS. DON'T DO THEM.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
Email or text. I can't readily use IMs (to use them from college I have to connect to the internet via a VPN client that makes the internet slow and the network impossible). Twitter's okay but make sure I see it. LJ comments - my notifications seem to only work in a sporadic, random and ultimately unhelpful manner, so really, stick with the email.
But first!
Stolen from fahye,
1. How can I tell if you're angry?
I don't get angry very often, to be honest. I get irritated a lot, in which case I bitch about it to the next closest person to get it off my chest and then forget all about it.
If I'm angry at you, you won't be told. My jaw will clench, I'll avoid eye contact and communicate only in short, clipped responses to outright questions. Apparently this isn't as obvious as it sounds, since most people don't seem to notice.
If I'm very angry at someone else, there's usually a lot of flailing and swear words involved while I earbash you about it.
If I'm very, very angry at you - which is rare - you'll know immediately, because the burning rage will be enough to overcome the social phobia and the core belief that if I speak up I'll lose friends. Under these circumstances you'll probably get a concise and pissy email. To which fahye can attest. :P
2. How should I behave around you if you're angry?
If I'm ranting about someone else, just nod and smile and make noises in the appropriate places. If I'm angry at you, just leave it be (and leave me be) - I'll get over it eventually but not if you keep talking at me. If it's the very, very angry, FIX IT, because I don't get that far along unless I feel I've been seriously and objectively wronged. If you make the effort, I get over it quickly.
3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally? How is it best to comfort you?
Go away. My mother is literally the only person in the world who can hug or comfort me without the social phobia and beliefs about self-worth or obligations kicking in, which just distresses me more. And before anyone gets upset about that, this stuff kicks in with my Dad for god's sake. No need to feel bad about it. :P
Anyway, I won't want to talk about it. Little tokens like a chocolate bar or something would be appreciated, but not face-to-face: if I'm emotionally wrung out the social phobia will be worse, so I'll be avoiding people.
If you can locate a kitten, this will be readily accepted.
4. Are there things we should not discuss?
Nup. If you're going to bring up something like religion, settle in for the long haul. Other than that, I'll roll with basically anything. Or happily answer any kind of sensitive question because I apparently have no self-preservation skills.
5. How should I treat you when you are ill?
Only migraines really knock me over, in which case just silence, darkness and a bed are all I need. If it's something else, like a cold, I'll probably whine about it but feel free to ignore. I whine a lot.
6. What makes you happy that's in my power to grant you?
I love getting things in the mail - letters, postcards, packages (man I have never gotten a care package. I feel so deprived!) - whatever, I'll probably get so excited I'll cling to it for days.
I also love "look at this awesome shit I found on the internet!" emails, because it means someone's randomly thought of me during their day. <3 I also hoard compliments like nobody's business, so mentioning a photo that you liked or somesuch is a surefire way to keep me happy for days.
AND ART. Of any kind! I have a little collection and looking over them always makes me happy. Most recently, rotae's gift (Hawkeye and McCoy <3) along with Alice's drawing of Starfleet!Mel nearly made me die of the joy. :D
7. How would you like us to recognise your birthday?
Actually the birthday post over at Elite of the Fleet was pretty much the best thing ever. ;____;
I'm not good at receiving presents. I'm really not. I'll tell you I don't want them for two reasons: firstly, I feel they instill a sense of obligation to return the favour and I can't guarantee that if I'm broke when your birthday rolls around, and secondly, I get painfully anxious about opening them in front of you. It's goddamn terrifying.
But honestly, I do actually like getting them because I get so few. Even my Dad can't remember my birthday! But if it's really about me and not the personal sense of gratification people get from giving stuff, you'll tell me I can open it later. I would be giddy with gratefulness inside.
Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
Of course! Books on travel or photography are always welcome. I have a odd obsession with boxes, or things with compartments (especially secret ones!). I have like five hundred pop culture obsessions - pick one, hit ebay and buy whatever comes up and I'll probably love it. BAKED GOODS.
I'm generally touched by basically anything (lol someone at college gave me a hard-boiled egg coloured in with pink texta on my birthday and I was so happy), but if you're looking for something that's really appreciated long-term...I don't wear a lot of jewelry. I don't drink - you name it, I don't drink it; alcohol, coffee and tea alike (except Oolong).
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you? Please explain if you are comfortable.
Not that I can think of! These few years are a particularly difficult time in my life though, so go easy on me.
10. Are there important anniversaries in your life?
Nup.
11. How do I cater for you if you are visiting me?
UM. To be honest I'll be so terrified of treading on anyone's toes that I'll be happy without anything beyond the basic necessities of a bathroom and a clean towel. I'm a really fussy eater (though the extent to which I express it depends on how well I know you) - I've grown up with very simple meals and textures so anything more complicated unnerves me. On the plus side, I don't eat much at all so usually I can find some part of the meal that's enough. XD I always have a tiny bit of chocolate to hand after meals, so if I'm deprived of this the consequences might be ugly.
ALSO. MORNINGS. DON'T DO THEM.
12. If I want to contact you, how should I do it?
Email or text. I can't readily use IMs (to use them from college I have to connect to the internet via a VPN client that makes the internet slow and the network impossible). Twitter's okay but make sure I see it. LJ comments - my notifications seem to only work in a sporadic, random and ultimately unhelpful manner, so really, stick with the email.