(no subject)
I feel like rolling deep inside myself; rolling up with my back to the outside world and forgetting everything out there. I know I can't, but I can resent those who insist on dragging me out where I don't want to go.
Social anxiety, much?
I feel bitter toward myself, like I'm naked on a glass slide under a high-powered microscope, and I'm examining every little detail, every fault. I'm giving myself no quarter, no slack, no mercy.
I'm caught in the midst of stuff I'm not sure I understand or can control. Jay's been giving me The Look and wondering if it was the right thing to do, to go off the Effexor. My goal was to find something as effective, but less expensive. I'm not sure I've found it. I'm not sure what I've tried works any better than what I had before.
I'm not saying the SAMe + B vitamins/L-tyrosine/DLPA isn't effective. It is. I haven't found the magic dose yet, and I'm not looking forward to a long period of trial and error to find it. At this point, I'm taking 2x 500mg of L-tyrosine, 2x 200mg SAMe, and 1x 500mg of DLPA a day, and I still feel "loose" mentally.
Should I continue and hope it gets better...? WILL it get better? Am I still withdrawing off the Effexor?
Should I increase the dosage of those supplements? Will it actually help, or will it hurt? Will I be cast into a world of mental chaos? I can't afford that. Also, +expense: SAMe runs about $20-25 for 60 doses, currently a month's worth.
Should I go back on Effexor and supplement with the additional supplements? That actually adds expense to an already costly regimen.
I feel much better immediately following a dose. I do seem to concentrate better - when I force myself to focus.
I spread the supplements out over the day, so I don't get a huge hit all at once.
Some nights I take a tramadol just to ease the crazies. I know it affects serotonin, so for some reason, I'm not getting enough SSRI action. That's where the idea of returning to Effexor comes from. However, I worry about too much of a "good" thing.
The supplements didn't touch my PMS. Only thing that helped was a high dose of caffeine, in the form of Pamprin.
I have emotions now. On the Effexor, I almost felt muffled.
Am I just too...broken...to fix?
Social anxiety, much?
I feel bitter toward myself, like I'm naked on a glass slide under a high-powered microscope, and I'm examining every little detail, every fault. I'm giving myself no quarter, no slack, no mercy.
I'm caught in the midst of stuff I'm not sure I understand or can control. Jay's been giving me The Look and wondering if it was the right thing to do, to go off the Effexor. My goal was to find something as effective, but less expensive. I'm not sure I've found it. I'm not sure what I've tried works any better than what I had before.
I'm not saying the SAMe + B vitamins/L-tyrosine/DLPA isn't effective. It is. I haven't found the magic dose yet, and I'm not looking forward to a long period of trial and error to find it. At this point, I'm taking 2x 500mg of L-tyrosine, 2x 200mg SAMe, and 1x 500mg of DLPA a day, and I still feel "loose" mentally.
Should I continue and hope it gets better...? WILL it get better? Am I still withdrawing off the Effexor?
Should I increase the dosage of those supplements? Will it actually help, or will it hurt? Will I be cast into a world of mental chaos? I can't afford that. Also, +expense: SAMe runs about $20-25 for 60 doses, currently a month's worth.
Should I go back on Effexor and supplement with the additional supplements? That actually adds expense to an already costly regimen.
I feel much better immediately following a dose. I do seem to concentrate better - when I force myself to focus.
I spread the supplements out over the day, so I don't get a huge hit all at once.
Some nights I take a tramadol just to ease the crazies. I know it affects serotonin, so for some reason, I'm not getting enough SSRI action. That's where the idea of returning to Effexor comes from. However, I worry about too much of a "good" thing.
The supplements didn't touch my PMS. Only thing that helped was a high dose of caffeine, in the form of Pamprin.
I have emotions now. On the Effexor, I almost felt muffled.
Am I just too...broken...to fix?