Bitching bitching
so im putting this here so people wont have to read this and be like your so emo on my facebook cause who the fuck still reads lj?! I was going to go out this evening with my friend Jo (which is also the reason this is here. kurt would pitch a fit if he know that i was going out with a guy friend.) so i decided to try and do something with my hair. nothing much just something fun with my bangs and then maybe a little makeup cause hey im going out and that's something i never do anymore. so get in the bathroom and start trying to do something with my hair. anything really. its so dull and boring it needs all the help it can get. but nothing i do helps so i give up and just go for washing it and putting it like normal. so on to makeup.
and thats about as far as i went cause i look at myself in the mirror and see not worth doing. theres no amount of makeup that would fix my horrible skin. i cant see anything that's good about my face. its a horrible thing to look at. i feel like any face is better than mine. my eyes are to small and a very gross shade of brown. my noes is to long and big. my lips are lopsided and my chin is covered in so much fat that its like i have 4 or 5 of them. my hair just sits there doing nothing. you know the saying polish a turd its still a turd. that's how i fell. its not even worth trying anymore. and losing weight wouldn't even help. my horrible face is still my face it wont go away even if i lost weight. I'm not even going out anymore i called off hanging out with Jo. I'm finding it harder and harder to get out of the house. at least at work i fit in with what people expect at walmart. thats why i cant get a job anywhere else. i to fucking ugly. i will never understand what people see in me cause when i look at my self i see nothing but a horrible mush person with nothing worth anything. i have no talents other that to make others look better in comparison. hey i think i just found myself a new job.
Fuck life.