ugh. bad day. >___< *screams*
okay. today wasn't THAT bad, but still what i consider to be bad. @_@;;
firstly, my stomach cramp STILL hasn't subsided and it almost killed me i think. but i couldn't skip another day of training, so I had no choice but to go. it was hurting me all the way through training, until now(which is approx. 2 days already), believe me, the pain is really discomforting.
and what did my coach do? *refrains from cursing* he made me play like 3 games of singles today and then what happened? I LOST ALL THE GAMES. I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST THE MATCHES! I mean, I had improved over these weeks and i was SURE that I could play a decent match of singles properly ( well I'm a doubles player) and suddenly this cramp came and ruined everything. just when i thought i could play a proper singles and rally with my opponent for a while, no, this cramp had to come and ruin everything. I COULD WIN THEM. but ugh i really couldn't push myself and i just kept rallying and rallying and just let go and lost like half way during the game. I MEAN JUST FOR THE FIRST POINT, I WAS PLAYING FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHEN IT USUALLY WOULD TAKE LIKE 1 MINUTE TO WIN THE FIRST POINT. *refrains from cursing again* i played with two guys, and one girl. ugh.. I could have played better. I screwed up everything. The shuttle either went out, or went into the net. I couldn't smash properly nor at the right place. and it frustrated me. I could have just thrown my racket on the floor and walked right out of the hall.well but my dad always told me to have good sportsmanship. Okay so you're thinking that this may just be a pratice match and it isn't any game important. but you may not know how much it feels. it's like you just want to scream and probably whack the opponent with your racket and telling him, IT'S OVER OKAY? I GIVE UP ON THIS ONE. ughhhh... I guess I do have really bad temper sometimes.. but iono~ I kinda suppressed it. But yah, today's trainings ruined my day and made me feel like CRAP.
I may not make sense. because not everybody can understand. but whatever.
I have to buck up. *curses shoe* my shoes are too slippery and I need a new one. I also need a new racket because the one i have currently sucks to the gut. I'd better start working my ass off hard so that I can play well for next year. -___-;;
and what else happened? I FORGOT TO BRING MY KEY. So? Of course, stay locked outside the house. I called dad, and he rushed down from work to open up the house. I mean, it wasn't his lunch time or anything.. but he had to tell his boss to take like half an hour off just to open up the key and work overtime tonight. it really made me feel bad. I told dad that I could wait until evening..that means I would still be outside the house now until 6+, but dad said it was okay.. I could tell he wasn't happy though..
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. AND I CAN PROVE IT.
I guess I can't stop feeling pessimistic these few days.. but whatever, I HAVE TO AT SOME POINT OF TIME. I can't be nice always.
i hate life, but i still have to live it.
firstly, my stomach cramp STILL hasn't subsided and it almost killed me i think. but i couldn't skip another day of training, so I had no choice but to go. it was hurting me all the way through training, until now(which is approx. 2 days already), believe me, the pain is really discomforting.
and what did my coach do? *refrains from cursing* he made me play like 3 games of singles today and then what happened? I LOST ALL THE GAMES. I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST THE MATCHES! I mean, I had improved over these weeks and i was SURE that I could play a decent match of singles properly ( well I'm a doubles player) and suddenly this cramp came and ruined everything. just when i thought i could play a proper singles and rally with my opponent for a while, no, this cramp had to come and ruin everything. I COULD WIN THEM. but ugh i really couldn't push myself and i just kept rallying and rallying and just let go and lost like half way during the game. I MEAN JUST FOR THE FIRST POINT, I WAS PLAYING FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHEN IT USUALLY WOULD TAKE LIKE 1 MINUTE TO WIN THE FIRST POINT. *refrains from cursing again* i played with two guys, and one girl. ugh.. I could have played better. I screwed up everything. The shuttle either went out, or went into the net. I couldn't smash properly nor at the right place. and it frustrated me. I could have just thrown my racket on the floor and walked right out of the hall.well but my dad always told me to have good sportsmanship. Okay so you're thinking that this may just be a pratice match and it isn't any game important. but you may not know how much it feels. it's like you just want to scream and probably whack the opponent with your racket and telling him, IT'S OVER OKAY? I GIVE UP ON THIS ONE. ughhhh... I guess I do have really bad temper sometimes.. but iono~ I kinda suppressed it. But yah, today's trainings ruined my day and made me feel like CRAP.
I may not make sense. because not everybody can understand. but whatever.
I have to buck up. *curses shoe* my shoes are too slippery and I need a new one. I also need a new racket because the one i have currently sucks to the gut. I'd better start working my ass off hard so that I can play well for next year. -___-;;
and what else happened? I FORGOT TO BRING MY KEY. So? Of course, stay locked outside the house. I called dad, and he rushed down from work to open up the house. I mean, it wasn't his lunch time or anything.. but he had to tell his boss to take like half an hour off just to open up the key and work overtime tonight. it really made me feel bad. I told dad that I could wait until evening..that means I would still be outside the house now until 6+, but dad said it was okay.. I could tell he wasn't happy though..
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT. AND I CAN PROVE IT.
I guess I can't stop feeling pessimistic these few days.. but whatever, I HAVE TO AT SOME POINT OF TIME. I can't be nice always.
i hate life, but i still have to live it.