[fic] gun
Title: Gun
Author:
ryo_icia
Subject: one-sided Kato/Nishikido
Rating: PG
Summary: Shige is writing another essay for Myojo, what's it about this time?
Notes: this is fail. It was my first time writing a fic, wrote this earlier, for around 30 minutes, but the essay.. was an edited version of the essay I had to pass in school for English class.
"Kato-san, are you done with the Myojo essay?” his manager asked him. "It's needed by the staff by tomorrow morning."
"I'm working on it." He was currently inside the dressing room, waiting for the other members to arrive.
No one was there yet; he went there 3 hours before the designated call time so that he could work on his essay without any distractions.
He was looking around the room to get inspiration, an idea, of what he could write about that would express his feelings or desires so that more people would know who he really is, not as just some pop idol faking everything for his fans.
A magazine suddenly caught his attention. It was on top of one of the dressers, the March 2009 issue of Potato. Reaching for the magazine, his picture with Nishikido-kun--linked arms, goofy smiles and peace signs-- grabbed his attention. He remembered the emotions that he felt during that certain photoshoot.
He reached for his notebook, suddenly having an inspiration on what to write about. His feelings for Nishikido Ryo. Feelings he repressed for a long time. He started to write his essay, keeping everything general, quite vague. After all, nobody needed to know that his essay was about him.
----------
“Hey guys! The magazines are here now,” Koyama said.
“Let’s read Myojo first! I wanna know what our resident genius wrote in his essay,” Tegoshi announced.
“Okay,” Yamapi replied, “Ne, Shige... Gun? Why is your essay entitled ‘Gun’?”
“Let’s read it! Please,” Tegoshi whined.
“Giving someone all your love is not an assurance that they will love you back. Some people are not meant to be in your life, no matter how much you want them to be.
The person that gained all of your attention and love makes you feel nervous, happy and content at the same time. That person may also have negative qualities, but nevertheless, you still like that person.
You keep observing that person. Every day, you grow fonder and feel it in you that you've fallen, that you've fallen down the bumpy road named One-Sided Love.
One-sided because no matter how physically near you are, how hard you try to reach for that person, you can never get close enough for you to know how that person feels about you, for your feelings to ever be reciprocated.
You can't confess to that person. The mere thought of confessing is frightening to you. The feeling of doing it must be like being taken hostage and having a gun pointed at your heart. The moment you confess, or do something wrong, that person would pull the trigger and break your heart to the point that it cannot be fixed anymore.
Yet still, you're hoping. Hoping that a divine intervention would happen, that your feelings would be accepted.
You don't give up on that person yet-- even if something unspeakable and heartbreaking happens to you-- holding on to that little hope.
What else can you do anyway? You're in love. Unconditionally and irrevocably.”
“It talks about one-sided love, Shige,” Massu said, “Why? Did something heartbreaking happen to you?”
“Oh Shiggy-chan! Somebody probably broke your heart! Why didn’t you tell me?,” Koyama exclaimed.
“It’s nothing guys, I just got the idea from a... book that I read! Nothing to worry about.”
“If that’s what you say Shige,” Tegoshi told him, with a look on his face saying that he definitely did not believe his lie.
“Oi. How girly! But the gun analogy, as much as I hate to admit it, was nice, you probably thought about that for a long time wimp,” Ryo joining their conversation said.
“Whatever you say, Nishikido-kun!” Shige told him. “If only you knew...”
please comment. i wanna be better.
i will post the more fail takayama fic that i made after i get back from hiding under a rock because of shame