[fic] Feet on the Ground (7/8, PG-13, SW)
No, I haven't disappeared. I've been finishing papers! And once I post this and stop procrastinating, I'll start another one!
...Stupid end of semester. Why can't you just be over already, with me already having gotten stuff done?
Title: Feet on the Ground
Author: Rynne
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Luke Skywalker has grown up his father's apprentice, and can't imagine anything but serving the Emperor. But after one mission, Luke's illusions begin to shatter, and Luke and his father begin to plan for the future--their future. Primarily a Luke-Vader story, with eventual Luke/Mara.
Author's notes: This is the first sequel to my fic Walking the Sky. I highly suggest you read that before reading this, though the basics are that Vader found Luke on Tatooine when Luke was nine, killing Obi-Wan and another Jedi, and leaving Owen and Beru alive.
This fic is written in its entirety, and is eight chapters long, plus a prologue. The only delay in posting chapters is when I get them back from my betas and make corrections, so I should be updating fairly frequently.
There are characters and concepts from the Star Wars Extended Universe in here, but very few. The biggest one is Mara Jade, who plays a large role, and who will be an important part of the plot, and not just as a love interest. I hope that I've provided enough background on Mara so that those of you who have seen Star Wars but not read any of the EU books would still be able to follow the story, if you want to read it--just think of her as an original character (which she is, though created by Timothy Zahn and not me).
Enormous thanks must go to krabapple and Trace for betaing. You made this fic much better than it would have been on its own. Thank you!
Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight
--
7
"Walk with me, my friend," the Emperor commanded, and though Vader wanted little more than to finish the report and be out of Palpatine's presence, he fell into step beside his master with no outward show of reluctance.
"It has been a long time since we have talked, Lord Vader," the Emperor continued. "Tell me, what do you think of this?" He spread out one arm in a grand sweeping motion, indicating the battle station around them.
"I think it is almost ready to be unveiled to the galaxy, my master," Vader replied, and hid his inner revulsion.
The Emperor laughed, a sound that had once been inviting and was now twisted, much like the man himself. "Why do you play these games, my friend?" he asked, though it seemed a rhetorical question to Vader.
Still, he said, "What games, my master?" He mentally snorted. As if he didn't know.
"Don't play ignorant, Lord Vader, it doesn't suit you," Palpatine said, almost sharply, chastising. "Surely you don't expect that I have forgotten what you think of this battle station?"
"No, my master," Vader replied. He didn't expect Palpatine to forget anything; underestimation was not a weakness of his. "But my disapproval does not matter, and the Death Star is almost ready to be revealed."
The cowl turned toward him for a moment. "You're right," he commented. "Your disapproval does not matter. See that you remember that."
Fool, Vader thought, beneath the strongest shields he had. You have become complacent. Do you think I will forget the insults you pay me? I have never been inconsequential, and it is impossible for you to pretend I am when both of us remember that it was you who sought me as an apprentice, not I who sought you as a master. You need me more than I need you.
But he only said, "Yes, my master."
As they walked, people and droids dodged out of their way; no one wanted to interfere with the Emperor and his second-in-command's visit to the nearly-completed Death Star.
"And how is"--a brief pause--"your apprentice?"
What was the pause for, Vader wondered briefly. Had he been about to say something else? Your son, perhaps?
"He is well, my master," Vader said, willing to pretend for the moment that Palpatine had nothing but Luke's well-being at heart.
"Good," Palpatine said, and again, "Good."
They walked in silence a few more steps, and a troop of stormtroopers turned the corner in front of them. The stormtroopers stopped and saluted, then marched past when the Emperor nodded at them.
"He is an adult now, isn't he?" the Emperor continued idly, once they were completely alone, with even mouse droids avoiding them.
"He is eighteen," Vader affirmed, without any idea of where the Emperor was taking this and not liking that fact.
"Perhaps it is time he received a home of his own," Palpatine said thoughtfully. "He might like a suite by himself in the Imperial Palace." Closer to me was the unspoken comment.
"He is fine where he is," Vader said as firmly as he could without sounding like he was directly contradicting his master. "He has never indicated that he wished to move out of my home."
"He wouldn't," Palpatine said, with poisoned-sweet kindness. "You are his master, after all." And we know what is due a master, his voice seemed to say. "But he is not a child any longer. He does not need to remain in his father's home."
"He is still very young," Vader said, unable to find a polite and unassuming way of saying I'm not letting you get your hands on my son. At least when Luke was living with Vader, Vader would be able to see him at least as often as the Emperor did. But if Luke was living in the Imperial Palace, his time with his son would be drastically reduced.
It would be disastrous for their plans, which were so close to coming together. If Luke were to move to the Imperial Palace, then they would no longer have an excuse not to meet in the Imperial Palace, where Palpatine could watch them; not even Vader knew of all the ways in which he had the Palace watched, and, knowing Palpatine, the Force would not be a solution to all of them. Though they could speak mind-to-mind, there was no guarantee that Palpatine, who was admittedly very learned in the ways of the Force, did not have some way of overhearing them, and they would have to keep conversations where they discussed anything important to a minimum.
"Sentimentality, Lord Vader?" It sounded like the warning it was. "He is not that young."
"I will speak with him," Vader hedged, trying to think of a way out of this.
"I am sure he will choose wisely," Palpatine said, milder now that he seemed to have gotten his way. "He is as much my loyal servant as you are, is he not, Lord Vader?"
"...Yes, my master," Vader said, and thrust back a spike of anger. He couldn't wait until he no longer had to deal with this presumptuous old man. Loyal servant, indeed.
But he had his part to play, and he would play it.
--
Their home library again, and Luke curled up in a stuffed armchair with a datapad held in front of him, looking as young as Vader had protested that he was, not so long ago.
"It's almost ready, isn't it?" A sigh, and a few clicks of typed keys later, Luke's full attention was on him. Vader sat down in a chair across from him.
"It is," Vader said heavily. "Within a few months it should be ready for testing."
"He's not going to be satisfied with blowing up an uninhabited moon or planet, is he?"
"It is not likely." Vader felt weary, down to his bones. "But whatever he chooses as the target, we can turn it to our advantage. The people will not be happy when they learn of the planet-destroying battle station. Palpatine thinks that it will make them too afraid to do anything, but they can be led instead to focus that fear into rebellion."
"Which is where I come in."
It was not a question, but Vader nodded anyway. "Do you think you can do it, without suspicion?" He'd asked it before, but the answer might have changed.
"Yes." Luke sat straight up, no longer slouched in the chair. "I can't guarantee that there won't be any suspicion, of course, but I don't think I'll be found out. Though I don't know that it would matter if I were. They'll have to find out sooner or later," he added. "And besides, we all want the downfall of Palpatine, anyway."
"The Rebels want more than that," Vader pointed out. "Try to make them allies, but be aware of their true purpose. It does not entirely coincide with ours."
"It will," Luke said, with the confidence of youth. "Much of what they are protesting, such as the slavery and the anti-alien bias, you've already told me that you intend to abolish. They can be brought to our side."
Vader shared his son's confidence; the Force was with them, and it would bring their dreams to pass. He just hoped that his own dream would not be so brought--his son would be in a very dangerous position, and would be publicly betraying Palpatine. Not many survived the Emperor's rage when he caught them again.
But he'd already told Luke to be careful, and he wouldn't say it again. His son had either already taken it to heart, or wouldn't at all. It was out of Vader's hands, for the moment,
And now it was time to bring up at less pleasant topic. "The Emperor thinks that you should move into the Imperial Palace," he said, and Luke blinked.
"Why?" he asked simply.
"He says it is because you are growing older and no longer need to live with your father," Vader told him. "I think it is because he wants his influence on you increased and mine decreased."
Luke nodded, taking that in. "Refusing isn't an option, is it," he said, sadly, as if he already knew the answer, and he did.
"No." Vader had his own regret. "He definitely implied that refusing is not an option."
Luke sighed. "Well, at least I'll not be there long anyway," he said. Vader's regret didn't lessen, though--It's so soon! something inside him cried. I've only had nine years with him, and soon he'll be gone into the galaxy, where I can't watch over him so easily...
Vader didn't want to let go, but he knew he had to. For the good of the galaxy, because it needed someone stronger as the Emperor...and Luke would come back to him. Vader would make sure of that.
But if this was all that he could have until the fruition of his plans, then he would at least have it, and have Luke as long as he could. Mental conversations, as fulfilling as they could be, were nothing to talking and planning face-to-face, but after this, they would have to suit.
"What were you reading?" he asked, determinedly making conversation. Luke smiled at him, as if he knew what Vader was doing, and they talked about books.
--
His new quarters were at the top of the Imperial Palace, only a few levels below the Emperor's main floor. The top, where only the most highly ranked people were allowed to have suites. It was an honor to be placed here.
It was also an honor that Luke could have done without, and would have preferred it that way. He didn't want to live any closer to Palpatine than he had to--even here the Emperor's Darkness, more deep and oily and sickeningly sweet than his father's, permeated every room.
Luke was not looking forward to sleeping here, though night was falling rapidly. It felt like he would suffocate if he didn't concentrate on breathing, and even opening all the windows in his suite didn't help. It was stifling.
Abruptly, he turned and walked out of the room. The presence was still there in the hallway, but it seemed muted somehow, as if it was concentrated in Luke's suite and just leaking out into the corridor. Luke thought that might very well be the case; the Emperor had apparently wanted him here, so it made sense that he would have some sort of means of...what? Controlling, watching, influencing Luke?
He wandered the halls, in search of something though he did not know what. The silence was heavy, not even the whisper of his passing lifting it at all. There was no one around--was he the only one on this floor? It wouldn't surprise him: Palpatine wouldn't want some Moff or Governor to see him and wonder who he was and maybe find out--but it made him feel like a ghost, searching deserted corridors for people he would not find.
The hallway was as lavishly decorated as his suite, with crystal vases holding rare flowers on marble stands, gold and silver filigree on elaborate carvings, paintings in gilt frames, and Luke wanted nothing more than to tear it all down and go back to his father's sensible and simple style. His father didn't care about wealth and thought showing it off was pointless, and Luke had grown used to the lack of ornamentation.
It was strange, but Luke was already missing his father. He'd seen him just earlier that day, and they both were still on Coruscant, but never had they seemed so far apart. And he was tempted to touch his father and talk to him, but he resisted. He could survive a few months of being directly under Palpatine's gaze, and he would be gone soon anyway. He didn't need to go calling after his father like a child.
He sighed. Surely there was someone else who lived here--he felt lingering echoes of another presence, and yes, now he felt someone getting closer, someone familiar though shielded--
"What are you doing here?" a voice asked, and Mara Jade stepped out of an alcove, a small datapad held in one hand.
"Do you live here?" he asked, somehow not surprised that it was she. She seemed to follow him everywhere else.
"Yes, just down the hall." She jerked her chin to point the way he had just come from. "Why are you up here?"
He smiled wryly. "I live here now, also down the hall. I was just exploring a bit."
She blinked at him. "I thought you lived with your father."
He shrugged. "The Emperor decided that I was too old to live with a parent, and graciously offered me a suite in the Imperial Palace." He wondered if she caught the sarcasm; by the way her eyes flickered momentarily, he could tell she had. "Does anyone else live here?"
She shook her head. "No," she said. "This is where the Emperor puts high-ranked people he doesn't want others to know about."
"Well, we both certainly fit into that group," he commented sardonically. "You're sure there aren't any others?"
"I've lived here for as long as I can remember, and I think I would know if there was anyone else," she replied tartly. "Trust me, there's no one else here."
No one else here. Luke's breath caught a moment as the implications hit his brain. No one else meant he and Mara were alone, with a whole floor to themselves. And this the girl whom he had...developed feelings for.
Is Palpatine testing me? The thought came with a sudden alarm, though Luke hoped none of it showed in his eyes. He told me not to get her pregnant, so he knows about my feelings--he knew even before I did. Is this a test? If it is, what's the right answer?
Does it even matter?
Looking at Mara, he decided that it didn't. He was almost done, anyway, done with Coruscant and Palpatine, and, yes, done with Mara. He doubted that he'd see her much, after he left, or that she would want to see him, even if she wasn't as happy with the Emperor as she once had been. She wouldn't betray Palpatine as he had done, was doing. Loyalty defined her.
The plans were in motion, and he couldn't--wouldn't--stop them. This was too important. If it came down to choosing between Mara and his father, he knew what the decision would be.
But that didn't meant that he shouldn't try to take what he could get. If their friendship would be over in a matter of months, then this wasn't as risky as it might otherwise have been, but he wanted it to work. Oh, how he wanted it to work.
"Luke?" Her voice was sharply defined, and when he focused on her, everything about her was sharply defined as well. Her hair, and the way it fell in waves past her shoulders when left loose. Her eyes, chips of green like life. Her face, pale with its light dusting of freckles. Her body, hidden beneath her clothes but the curves of her obvious just the same.
Her voice rose, as if she'd just become aware of his regard and was uncomfortable. "Luke, why are you looking at me like that?"
He didn't let up his gaze. "Guess," he said softly.
"You've gone insane," she suggested, and shivered. "The honor of being up here is too much for you."
He laughed lightly. "Wrong." He took a step closer, and she didn't seem to notice.
"There's something wrong with your eyes?"
"Nope." Another step.
"Then it's--" He took another step, and he was right in front of her. She looked up at him, and before she could step back he grabbed her upper arms, but gently.
"Mara," he breathed, bringing his face closer to hers, watching her eyes grow smoky and hazed. She was gazing at him, too, and she wasn't moving away, even though his grip was so gentle on her arms that she could have broken it if she wanted to. The datapad in her hand slipped, unnoticed, to the floor, where it lay, ignored.
"Luke--" Her voice faltered as he angled his head, eyes intent on hers.
"Don't think," he told her. "Thinking's overrated."
Then he kissed her. Her lips were smooth and soft and warm, and he liked the feel of them, against his own. He'd never kissed anyone before her, but then he'd never wanted to, and he thought he might not want to kiss anyone after her either.
She was still for a moment, stiff in his grip and her eyes looking up at his with a startled flickering. But then she closed her eyes and leaned forward until his arms slid around her to wrap around her back. She raised her own arms to close behind his neck and hold him nearer to her. Her lips pressed against his as much as his pressed against hers.
The small part of his mind that wasn't involved in the kiss seemed to wonder that she was returning it, but that was unimportant compared to the reality that was between them. His lips on hers, hers on his, not even air able to get between them, and air was unnecessary compared to her mouth. Force-users could go longer without breath than regular people anyway, and what an advantage it was.
She pulled back first, just a bit, and opened her eyes to look intently into his. Whatever she saw in them made her smile, a curve of lips that he could sense rather than see or feel, and then she closed the distance between them again.
This kiss was rougher, without the wondering newness of the first. Her mouth opened to his, and his followed suit without a thought. Teeth clacked together, jarring enough for Luke to pull back slightly, but then he pushed forward again, because it wasn't enough. He pulled her close against him and her arms tightened around his neck, pulling his head nearer to hers.
They pulled back at the same time, as if by unspoken mutual agreement. But they stood there, still, their arms wrapped around each other. He looked at her, and she looked back at him, and they both smiled.
"I've wanted that for a long time," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.
Luke tilted his head, bemused. "Have you?" he asked. "I didn't know."
"I didn't want you to," she said with wry good humor, and leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. Her forehead nestled against his neck. "Where do we go from here?"
"Where do you want to go?" he replied. I know what I want. I'll be gone soon enough, and I want to remember more than just her kiss. But he wouldn't force her. He could, but he wouldn't. It would be so much sweeter if she were willing.
She lifted her head. "I can guess what you want," she said, but she didn't frown at him, and didn't seem opposed. "But I've never..."
He kissed her swiftly. "Neither have I," he told her. "But would you want to, with me?"
Her gaze was surprisingly clear. "I wouldn't want to without you," she said, sending a warm shiver down his spine. "I'm just...nervous, I guess. But...I do want to."
They stared at each other for a moment, the decision made but not acted upon, for neither quite knew what to do next. Finally Mara took charge, slipping out of his embrace and taking him by the hand. "Come," she said, and tugged, and he followed her to her suite and inside. The door closed behind them.
--
Luke woke up in an unfamiliar place, with something warm right next to him and shallow breath washing over his face.
His eyes snapped open just as memory reasserted itself, and he forced his tensing body to relax. He knew how he had gotten here. He glanced down slightly, at the red-gold hair spread out across the pillows, and the face beneath it. Mara was sleeping peacefully, her mouth just slightly open, and something in Luke warmed at the sight of her.
/Have an interesting night, my son?/ his father's voice said in his mind, and Luke almost started in surprise.
/Father! You didn't feel that, did you?/ He knew he'd been shielding, that he hadn't forgotten something that basic...
/You were shielding,/ his father reassured him. /You were, in fact, shielding more than normal, which I admit piqued my curiosity. Though periodically your concentration faltered for a moment, and I was gifted with some...interesting feelings along our bond./
Luke mentally groaned and buried his face in his pillow. /I'd ask you if you were serious, except that I know you're never not. I'm sorry, Father./
/Do not worry about it,/ Vader sent in reply. /But I think that next time I see you, there are a few things that I should show you, such as how to block emotions from coming down the bond even when you are...distracted./
/Father!/
A pulse of amusement, then the feeling-flicker along their bond changed. /I hope she treats you well, my son,/ Vader said. /For her sake as well as yours./
/Don't worry about me,/ Luke replied. /I'll be all right. She's not going to hurt me./
/She had better not./
And before Luke could reply with another attempt to soothe his father's overprotectiveness, Vader closed off their connection and was gone.
He lifted his head from the pillow and looked again at the girl sleeping right next to him, and smiled involuntarily. She was beautiful, especially like this, completely naked underneath the sheets--though she looked good with clothes on, she looked even better with them off.
Then her eyes fluttered open and she focused on him, and her hand worked itself free of the blankets to reach up and cup his cheek.
"Good morning," she murmured, a smile twitching at her lips.
"Hullo," he said, feeling suddenly shy, though he thought he shouldn't be; they'd gone too far for shyness now.
"Did we really...?" She was blushing, and more than just her cheeks turned red, Luke noted with a strange embarrassment mixed with amazement.
"Unless you've got another explanation for why we're naked in your bed," he replied wryly, and they both laughed, a light, carefree sound. He still liked her laughter.
But then she quieted down, and looked at him with something in her eyes, something that he couldn't quite identify but looked like it might be wonder. "I never thought I'd have this," she said, and her hand moved from his cheek to his chest. "I've wanted it for a long time, but I thought..."
She trailed off, but Luke couldn't leave it at that, not after she said nearly the same thing after their first kiss. "How long?" he asked.
She quirked an eyebrow at him, and the corners of her mouth twitched. "Would you believe me if I said ever since we met?" she replied, apparently in a rare sharing mood--but then, they'd shared a lot last night.
He couldn't help but feel surprise. "You can't be serious," he said. Was it possible, that she'd wanted him for longer than he'd wanted her? He never would have thought it.
Her gaze dropped. "Well, not this precisely," she corrected, and waved a hand to encompass their position. "But right from the start, I was attracted to you. I never thought I'd be able to do anything about it, though."
"Because I'm a Sith Lord?"
"That, and because I'd had no idea that you would feel the same." She chuckled, and stretched slightly. "For once I'm glad about being wrong."
Luke mulled it over, and finally some things about Mara began to make sense. "And that's why you approached me, in the library?" he asked. "I couldn't figure it out. I was afraid you just wanted to get close to me to spy on me, but then I thought that couldn't be it."
She didn't need to ask whom she'd spy on him for. "Right," she said. "I thought that I might as well start somewhere, and hope that what happened on Ord Mantell wouldn't color things. You didn't seem happy with me after I shot that man."
Did she even know her victim had been a Jedi, or had she just been ordered to shoot whoever Luke was fighting? But it didn't really matter and he wasn't going to ask; even though it had happened years ago now--had it really been that long, since he first met her? It didn't seem like it could be--he didn't want her to get suspicious. Maybe she was beginning to resent Palpatine's control over her life, but he couldn't take the chance. Besides, not even his father knew that the Jedi had still been alive when Mara shot him.
"I wasn't happy," he said, "but it wasn't you I was unhappy with. You were just following orders." His tone implied the focus of his displeasure, but she didn't say anything about that.
She reached up, brushed a few strands of hair away from his forehead. "What about you?" she asked. "How long?"
"Not as long as you," he said, and added, "Though I did want to be friends with you, once I met you. No, remember the day we met in the gym?"
"You watched me dance," she murmured, and understanding lit her eyes. "That's why you were watching? I'd wanted it to be that, though I tried to think of other things it could have been. I didn't want to get my hopes up."
The puzzle pieces that were Mara Jade began to fit together, but there was still another he hoped to decipher. And she was more generous now than usual, sharing things with him that he knew she would never have shared before, so maybe she would answer this for him.
"Mara," he said, and touched her wrist. She looked at him. "That day a couple weeks ago, in the garden. Why were you so angry?"
She smiled at him, wistfully. "Not everyone can defy gravity so easily," she whispered. "And not all of us are free to try. The ground isn't necessarily the only thing gravity pulls us towards. If you could escape one kind of gravity, maybe you could escape another, and I can't even--" She stopped, as if unwilling to say more, but Luke understood. For maybe the first time, he understood.
He slid his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She fought for a moment, said sharply, "I don't need to be coddled. Just because I'm telling you certain things doesn't mean--" but he looked at her, just looked at her, and she sighed and relaxed in his embrace, and even brought her arms up to wrap around him.
"I don't coddle," he murmured into her ear as their bodies pressed close together. "Comfort's not the same thing. Needing it doesn't make you weak."
"What do you know?" she retorted, but without any real ire. But she was still ill at ease with being comforted, or with the idea of needing that comfort, and he decided to share something with her.
"When I found out who my father was, I was devastated," he said, closing his eyes and remembering that day so many years ago now.
"Why?" Mara asked, lifting her head from where it had been tucked beneath his chin and looking at him. "He's the second-most powerful person in the galaxy."
"And I just saw him kill two people right in front of me," he told her. "They were Jedi, but they were trying to protect me, from him. Everyone thought I needed protecting from him. They thought he would kill me, and convinced me of the same thing."
"But...you're his son." She was confused, and he didn't blame her. "Why would they think he would kill you?"
"I may be his son, but he's still a Sith Lord," he reminded her. "They--the Jedi, and my aunt and uncle--couldn't have known that he still cared about having family. Remember how I told you once that Palpatine didn't want me to be trained, because there are only supposed to be two Sith at a time? For all the Jedi knew, he would have had greater loyalty to the Sith than to his family, and killed me instead of trained me, because I'm strong in the Force and could have grown up to oppose him."
"That's horrible," she whispered, and his hand rose from her back to stroke her hair.
"It is," he agreed. "And my father...the galaxy is afraid of him. You know his reputation as well as I do. I was a child, and I was afraid of him, too. When I found out that he was my father...I was still afraid of him, because there still was his reputation. How could I not be devastated, knowing that my father was the man the galaxy was terrified of?" He sighed. "And somehow, he knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. Would you believe that he hugged me? I almost didn't at the time, but then I realized...if a Sith Lord could hug me, then there had to be more to him than just being the Sith Lord."
"As there's more to you."
He smiled at her, and kept stroking her hair. It was such lovely hair, soft and silky, if slightly tangled from sleeping. "I needed that comfort, then. Do you think I'm weak?"
"I did, once," she said, seriously, and though that was not what he wanted to hear, he listened. "When I saw you in the library and felt your loneliness, I thought you had to be weak. I was never--well, rarely--lonely, and I never gave into it. But I was still attracted to you, and wanted to get to know you better, and once I did, I knew how strong you were."
"It's not a weakness to feel, Mara," he said, and his other hand came up to cup her cheek. "The weakness is in making yourself not feel. Emotions make you powerful. And not just some emotions," he added, anticipating her when she opened her mouth. "Whatever the Emperor says, positive emotions can be just as much a driving force as negative ones. Tapping into my joy has given me as much power as tapping into my anger has. It's all a rush."
They lapsed into silence then, unsure of what to say next, or even if more needed to be said. They'd gotten used to their friendship, and now it changed, and there were more things to get used to. They couldn't go back to what they once were.
Mara's eyes slowly closed, and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep again. Luke reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, and froze when she shifted so that her cheek was cupped in the palm of his hand. Feeling her soft skin against his, Luke knew that there was no turning back, and knew further that he wouldn't want to.
...Stupid end of semester. Why can't you just be over already, with me already having gotten stuff done?
Title: Feet on the Ground
Author: Rynne
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Luke Skywalker has grown up his father's apprentice, and can't imagine anything but serving the Emperor. But after one mission, Luke's illusions begin to shatter, and Luke and his father begin to plan for the future--their future. Primarily a Luke-Vader story, with eventual Luke/Mara.
Author's notes: This is the first sequel to my fic Walking the Sky. I highly suggest you read that before reading this, though the basics are that Vader found Luke on Tatooine when Luke was nine, killing Obi-Wan and another Jedi, and leaving Owen and Beru alive.
This fic is written in its entirety, and is eight chapters long, plus a prologue. The only delay in posting chapters is when I get them back from my betas and make corrections, so I should be updating fairly frequently.
There are characters and concepts from the Star Wars Extended Universe in here, but very few. The biggest one is Mara Jade, who plays a large role, and who will be an important part of the plot, and not just as a love interest. I hope that I've provided enough background on Mara so that those of you who have seen Star Wars but not read any of the EU books would still be able to follow the story, if you want to read it--just think of her as an original character (which she is, though created by Timothy Zahn and not me).
Enormous thanks must go to krabapple and Trace for betaing. You made this fic much better than it would have been on its own. Thank you!
Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight
--
7
"Walk with me, my friend," the Emperor commanded, and though Vader wanted little more than to finish the report and be out of Palpatine's presence, he fell into step beside his master with no outward show of reluctance.
"It has been a long time since we have talked, Lord Vader," the Emperor continued. "Tell me, what do you think of this?" He spread out one arm in a grand sweeping motion, indicating the battle station around them.
"I think it is almost ready to be unveiled to the galaxy, my master," Vader replied, and hid his inner revulsion.
The Emperor laughed, a sound that had once been inviting and was now twisted, much like the man himself. "Why do you play these games, my friend?" he asked, though it seemed a rhetorical question to Vader.
Still, he said, "What games, my master?" He mentally snorted. As if he didn't know.
"Don't play ignorant, Lord Vader, it doesn't suit you," Palpatine said, almost sharply, chastising. "Surely you don't expect that I have forgotten what you think of this battle station?"
"No, my master," Vader replied. He didn't expect Palpatine to forget anything; underestimation was not a weakness of his. "But my disapproval does not matter, and the Death Star is almost ready to be revealed."
The cowl turned toward him for a moment. "You're right," he commented. "Your disapproval does not matter. See that you remember that."
Fool, Vader thought, beneath the strongest shields he had. You have become complacent. Do you think I will forget the insults you pay me? I have never been inconsequential, and it is impossible for you to pretend I am when both of us remember that it was you who sought me as an apprentice, not I who sought you as a master. You need me more than I need you.
But he only said, "Yes, my master."
As they walked, people and droids dodged out of their way; no one wanted to interfere with the Emperor and his second-in-command's visit to the nearly-completed Death Star.
"And how is"--a brief pause--"your apprentice?"
What was the pause for, Vader wondered briefly. Had he been about to say something else? Your son, perhaps?
"He is well, my master," Vader said, willing to pretend for the moment that Palpatine had nothing but Luke's well-being at heart.
"Good," Palpatine said, and again, "Good."
They walked in silence a few more steps, and a troop of stormtroopers turned the corner in front of them. The stormtroopers stopped and saluted, then marched past when the Emperor nodded at them.
"He is an adult now, isn't he?" the Emperor continued idly, once they were completely alone, with even mouse droids avoiding them.
"He is eighteen," Vader affirmed, without any idea of where the Emperor was taking this and not liking that fact.
"Perhaps it is time he received a home of his own," Palpatine said thoughtfully. "He might like a suite by himself in the Imperial Palace." Closer to me was the unspoken comment.
"He is fine where he is," Vader said as firmly as he could without sounding like he was directly contradicting his master. "He has never indicated that he wished to move out of my home."
"He wouldn't," Palpatine said, with poisoned-sweet kindness. "You are his master, after all." And we know what is due a master, his voice seemed to say. "But he is not a child any longer. He does not need to remain in his father's home."
"He is still very young," Vader said, unable to find a polite and unassuming way of saying I'm not letting you get your hands on my son. At least when Luke was living with Vader, Vader would be able to see him at least as often as the Emperor did. But if Luke was living in the Imperial Palace, his time with his son would be drastically reduced.
It would be disastrous for their plans, which were so close to coming together. If Luke were to move to the Imperial Palace, then they would no longer have an excuse not to meet in the Imperial Palace, where Palpatine could watch them; not even Vader knew of all the ways in which he had the Palace watched, and, knowing Palpatine, the Force would not be a solution to all of them. Though they could speak mind-to-mind, there was no guarantee that Palpatine, who was admittedly very learned in the ways of the Force, did not have some way of overhearing them, and they would have to keep conversations where they discussed anything important to a minimum.
"Sentimentality, Lord Vader?" It sounded like the warning it was. "He is not that young."
"I will speak with him," Vader hedged, trying to think of a way out of this.
"I am sure he will choose wisely," Palpatine said, milder now that he seemed to have gotten his way. "He is as much my loyal servant as you are, is he not, Lord Vader?"
"...Yes, my master," Vader said, and thrust back a spike of anger. He couldn't wait until he no longer had to deal with this presumptuous old man. Loyal servant, indeed.
But he had his part to play, and he would play it.
--
Their home library again, and Luke curled up in a stuffed armchair with a datapad held in front of him, looking as young as Vader had protested that he was, not so long ago.
"It's almost ready, isn't it?" A sigh, and a few clicks of typed keys later, Luke's full attention was on him. Vader sat down in a chair across from him.
"It is," Vader said heavily. "Within a few months it should be ready for testing."
"He's not going to be satisfied with blowing up an uninhabited moon or planet, is he?"
"It is not likely." Vader felt weary, down to his bones. "But whatever he chooses as the target, we can turn it to our advantage. The people will not be happy when they learn of the planet-destroying battle station. Palpatine thinks that it will make them too afraid to do anything, but they can be led instead to focus that fear into rebellion."
"Which is where I come in."
It was not a question, but Vader nodded anyway. "Do you think you can do it, without suspicion?" He'd asked it before, but the answer might have changed.
"Yes." Luke sat straight up, no longer slouched in the chair. "I can't guarantee that there won't be any suspicion, of course, but I don't think I'll be found out. Though I don't know that it would matter if I were. They'll have to find out sooner or later," he added. "And besides, we all want the downfall of Palpatine, anyway."
"The Rebels want more than that," Vader pointed out. "Try to make them allies, but be aware of their true purpose. It does not entirely coincide with ours."
"It will," Luke said, with the confidence of youth. "Much of what they are protesting, such as the slavery and the anti-alien bias, you've already told me that you intend to abolish. They can be brought to our side."
Vader shared his son's confidence; the Force was with them, and it would bring their dreams to pass. He just hoped that his own dream would not be so brought--his son would be in a very dangerous position, and would be publicly betraying Palpatine. Not many survived the Emperor's rage when he caught them again.
But he'd already told Luke to be careful, and he wouldn't say it again. His son had either already taken it to heart, or wouldn't at all. It was out of Vader's hands, for the moment,
And now it was time to bring up at less pleasant topic. "The Emperor thinks that you should move into the Imperial Palace," he said, and Luke blinked.
"Why?" he asked simply.
"He says it is because you are growing older and no longer need to live with your father," Vader told him. "I think it is because he wants his influence on you increased and mine decreased."
Luke nodded, taking that in. "Refusing isn't an option, is it," he said, sadly, as if he already knew the answer, and he did.
"No." Vader had his own regret. "He definitely implied that refusing is not an option."
Luke sighed. "Well, at least I'll not be there long anyway," he said. Vader's regret didn't lessen, though--It's so soon! something inside him cried. I've only had nine years with him, and soon he'll be gone into the galaxy, where I can't watch over him so easily...
Vader didn't want to let go, but he knew he had to. For the good of the galaxy, because it needed someone stronger as the Emperor...and Luke would come back to him. Vader would make sure of that.
But if this was all that he could have until the fruition of his plans, then he would at least have it, and have Luke as long as he could. Mental conversations, as fulfilling as they could be, were nothing to talking and planning face-to-face, but after this, they would have to suit.
"What were you reading?" he asked, determinedly making conversation. Luke smiled at him, as if he knew what Vader was doing, and they talked about books.
--
His new quarters were at the top of the Imperial Palace, only a few levels below the Emperor's main floor. The top, where only the most highly ranked people were allowed to have suites. It was an honor to be placed here.
It was also an honor that Luke could have done without, and would have preferred it that way. He didn't want to live any closer to Palpatine than he had to--even here the Emperor's Darkness, more deep and oily and sickeningly sweet than his father's, permeated every room.
Luke was not looking forward to sleeping here, though night was falling rapidly. It felt like he would suffocate if he didn't concentrate on breathing, and even opening all the windows in his suite didn't help. It was stifling.
Abruptly, he turned and walked out of the room. The presence was still there in the hallway, but it seemed muted somehow, as if it was concentrated in Luke's suite and just leaking out into the corridor. Luke thought that might very well be the case; the Emperor had apparently wanted him here, so it made sense that he would have some sort of means of...what? Controlling, watching, influencing Luke?
He wandered the halls, in search of something though he did not know what. The silence was heavy, not even the whisper of his passing lifting it at all. There was no one around--was he the only one on this floor? It wouldn't surprise him: Palpatine wouldn't want some Moff or Governor to see him and wonder who he was and maybe find out--but it made him feel like a ghost, searching deserted corridors for people he would not find.
The hallway was as lavishly decorated as his suite, with crystal vases holding rare flowers on marble stands, gold and silver filigree on elaborate carvings, paintings in gilt frames, and Luke wanted nothing more than to tear it all down and go back to his father's sensible and simple style. His father didn't care about wealth and thought showing it off was pointless, and Luke had grown used to the lack of ornamentation.
It was strange, but Luke was already missing his father. He'd seen him just earlier that day, and they both were still on Coruscant, but never had they seemed so far apart. And he was tempted to touch his father and talk to him, but he resisted. He could survive a few months of being directly under Palpatine's gaze, and he would be gone soon anyway. He didn't need to go calling after his father like a child.
He sighed. Surely there was someone else who lived here--he felt lingering echoes of another presence, and yes, now he felt someone getting closer, someone familiar though shielded--
"What are you doing here?" a voice asked, and Mara Jade stepped out of an alcove, a small datapad held in one hand.
"Do you live here?" he asked, somehow not surprised that it was she. She seemed to follow him everywhere else.
"Yes, just down the hall." She jerked her chin to point the way he had just come from. "Why are you up here?"
He smiled wryly. "I live here now, also down the hall. I was just exploring a bit."
She blinked at him. "I thought you lived with your father."
He shrugged. "The Emperor decided that I was too old to live with a parent, and graciously offered me a suite in the Imperial Palace." He wondered if she caught the sarcasm; by the way her eyes flickered momentarily, he could tell she had. "Does anyone else live here?"
She shook her head. "No," she said. "This is where the Emperor puts high-ranked people he doesn't want others to know about."
"Well, we both certainly fit into that group," he commented sardonically. "You're sure there aren't any others?"
"I've lived here for as long as I can remember, and I think I would know if there was anyone else," she replied tartly. "Trust me, there's no one else here."
No one else here. Luke's breath caught a moment as the implications hit his brain. No one else meant he and Mara were alone, with a whole floor to themselves. And this the girl whom he had...developed feelings for.
Is Palpatine testing me? The thought came with a sudden alarm, though Luke hoped none of it showed in his eyes. He told me not to get her pregnant, so he knows about my feelings--he knew even before I did. Is this a test? If it is, what's the right answer?
Does it even matter?
Looking at Mara, he decided that it didn't. He was almost done, anyway, done with Coruscant and Palpatine, and, yes, done with Mara. He doubted that he'd see her much, after he left, or that she would want to see him, even if she wasn't as happy with the Emperor as she once had been. She wouldn't betray Palpatine as he had done, was doing. Loyalty defined her.
The plans were in motion, and he couldn't--wouldn't--stop them. This was too important. If it came down to choosing between Mara and his father, he knew what the decision would be.
But that didn't meant that he shouldn't try to take what he could get. If their friendship would be over in a matter of months, then this wasn't as risky as it might otherwise have been, but he wanted it to work. Oh, how he wanted it to work.
"Luke?" Her voice was sharply defined, and when he focused on her, everything about her was sharply defined as well. Her hair, and the way it fell in waves past her shoulders when left loose. Her eyes, chips of green like life. Her face, pale with its light dusting of freckles. Her body, hidden beneath her clothes but the curves of her obvious just the same.
Her voice rose, as if she'd just become aware of his regard and was uncomfortable. "Luke, why are you looking at me like that?"
He didn't let up his gaze. "Guess," he said softly.
"You've gone insane," she suggested, and shivered. "The honor of being up here is too much for you."
He laughed lightly. "Wrong." He took a step closer, and she didn't seem to notice.
"There's something wrong with your eyes?"
"Nope." Another step.
"Then it's--" He took another step, and he was right in front of her. She looked up at him, and before she could step back he grabbed her upper arms, but gently.
"Mara," he breathed, bringing his face closer to hers, watching her eyes grow smoky and hazed. She was gazing at him, too, and she wasn't moving away, even though his grip was so gentle on her arms that she could have broken it if she wanted to. The datapad in her hand slipped, unnoticed, to the floor, where it lay, ignored.
"Luke--" Her voice faltered as he angled his head, eyes intent on hers.
"Don't think," he told her. "Thinking's overrated."
Then he kissed her. Her lips were smooth and soft and warm, and he liked the feel of them, against his own. He'd never kissed anyone before her, but then he'd never wanted to, and he thought he might not want to kiss anyone after her either.
She was still for a moment, stiff in his grip and her eyes looking up at his with a startled flickering. But then she closed her eyes and leaned forward until his arms slid around her to wrap around her back. She raised her own arms to close behind his neck and hold him nearer to her. Her lips pressed against his as much as his pressed against hers.
The small part of his mind that wasn't involved in the kiss seemed to wonder that she was returning it, but that was unimportant compared to the reality that was between them. His lips on hers, hers on his, not even air able to get between them, and air was unnecessary compared to her mouth. Force-users could go longer without breath than regular people anyway, and what an advantage it was.
She pulled back first, just a bit, and opened her eyes to look intently into his. Whatever she saw in them made her smile, a curve of lips that he could sense rather than see or feel, and then she closed the distance between them again.
This kiss was rougher, without the wondering newness of the first. Her mouth opened to his, and his followed suit without a thought. Teeth clacked together, jarring enough for Luke to pull back slightly, but then he pushed forward again, because it wasn't enough. He pulled her close against him and her arms tightened around his neck, pulling his head nearer to hers.
They pulled back at the same time, as if by unspoken mutual agreement. But they stood there, still, their arms wrapped around each other. He looked at her, and she looked back at him, and they both smiled.
"I've wanted that for a long time," she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper.
Luke tilted his head, bemused. "Have you?" he asked. "I didn't know."
"I didn't want you to," she said with wry good humor, and leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. Her forehead nestled against his neck. "Where do we go from here?"
"Where do you want to go?" he replied. I know what I want. I'll be gone soon enough, and I want to remember more than just her kiss. But he wouldn't force her. He could, but he wouldn't. It would be so much sweeter if she were willing.
She lifted her head. "I can guess what you want," she said, but she didn't frown at him, and didn't seem opposed. "But I've never..."
He kissed her swiftly. "Neither have I," he told her. "But would you want to, with me?"
Her gaze was surprisingly clear. "I wouldn't want to without you," she said, sending a warm shiver down his spine. "I'm just...nervous, I guess. But...I do want to."
They stared at each other for a moment, the decision made but not acted upon, for neither quite knew what to do next. Finally Mara took charge, slipping out of his embrace and taking him by the hand. "Come," she said, and tugged, and he followed her to her suite and inside. The door closed behind them.
--
Luke woke up in an unfamiliar place, with something warm right next to him and shallow breath washing over his face.
His eyes snapped open just as memory reasserted itself, and he forced his tensing body to relax. He knew how he had gotten here. He glanced down slightly, at the red-gold hair spread out across the pillows, and the face beneath it. Mara was sleeping peacefully, her mouth just slightly open, and something in Luke warmed at the sight of her.
/Have an interesting night, my son?/ his father's voice said in his mind, and Luke almost started in surprise.
/Father! You didn't feel that, did you?/ He knew he'd been shielding, that he hadn't forgotten something that basic...
/You were shielding,/ his father reassured him. /You were, in fact, shielding more than normal, which I admit piqued my curiosity. Though periodically your concentration faltered for a moment, and I was gifted with some...interesting feelings along our bond./
Luke mentally groaned and buried his face in his pillow. /I'd ask you if you were serious, except that I know you're never not. I'm sorry, Father./
/Do not worry about it,/ Vader sent in reply. /But I think that next time I see you, there are a few things that I should show you, such as how to block emotions from coming down the bond even when you are...distracted./
/Father!/
A pulse of amusement, then the feeling-flicker along their bond changed. /I hope she treats you well, my son,/ Vader said. /For her sake as well as yours./
/Don't worry about me,/ Luke replied. /I'll be all right. She's not going to hurt me./
/She had better not./
And before Luke could reply with another attempt to soothe his father's overprotectiveness, Vader closed off their connection and was gone.
He lifted his head from the pillow and looked again at the girl sleeping right next to him, and smiled involuntarily. She was beautiful, especially like this, completely naked underneath the sheets--though she looked good with clothes on, she looked even better with them off.
Then her eyes fluttered open and she focused on him, and her hand worked itself free of the blankets to reach up and cup his cheek.
"Good morning," she murmured, a smile twitching at her lips.
"Hullo," he said, feeling suddenly shy, though he thought he shouldn't be; they'd gone too far for shyness now.
"Did we really...?" She was blushing, and more than just her cheeks turned red, Luke noted with a strange embarrassment mixed with amazement.
"Unless you've got another explanation for why we're naked in your bed," he replied wryly, and they both laughed, a light, carefree sound. He still liked her laughter.
But then she quieted down, and looked at him with something in her eyes, something that he couldn't quite identify but looked like it might be wonder. "I never thought I'd have this," she said, and her hand moved from his cheek to his chest. "I've wanted it for a long time, but I thought..."
She trailed off, but Luke couldn't leave it at that, not after she said nearly the same thing after their first kiss. "How long?" he asked.
She quirked an eyebrow at him, and the corners of her mouth twitched. "Would you believe me if I said ever since we met?" she replied, apparently in a rare sharing mood--but then, they'd shared a lot last night.
He couldn't help but feel surprise. "You can't be serious," he said. Was it possible, that she'd wanted him for longer than he'd wanted her? He never would have thought it.
Her gaze dropped. "Well, not this precisely," she corrected, and waved a hand to encompass their position. "But right from the start, I was attracted to you. I never thought I'd be able to do anything about it, though."
"Because I'm a Sith Lord?"
"That, and because I'd had no idea that you would feel the same." She chuckled, and stretched slightly. "For once I'm glad about being wrong."
Luke mulled it over, and finally some things about Mara began to make sense. "And that's why you approached me, in the library?" he asked. "I couldn't figure it out. I was afraid you just wanted to get close to me to spy on me, but then I thought that couldn't be it."
She didn't need to ask whom she'd spy on him for. "Right," she said. "I thought that I might as well start somewhere, and hope that what happened on Ord Mantell wouldn't color things. You didn't seem happy with me after I shot that man."
Did she even know her victim had been a Jedi, or had she just been ordered to shoot whoever Luke was fighting? But it didn't really matter and he wasn't going to ask; even though it had happened years ago now--had it really been that long, since he first met her? It didn't seem like it could be--he didn't want her to get suspicious. Maybe she was beginning to resent Palpatine's control over her life, but he couldn't take the chance. Besides, not even his father knew that the Jedi had still been alive when Mara shot him.
"I wasn't happy," he said, "but it wasn't you I was unhappy with. You were just following orders." His tone implied the focus of his displeasure, but she didn't say anything about that.
She reached up, brushed a few strands of hair away from his forehead. "What about you?" she asked. "How long?"
"Not as long as you," he said, and added, "Though I did want to be friends with you, once I met you. No, remember the day we met in the gym?"
"You watched me dance," she murmured, and understanding lit her eyes. "That's why you were watching? I'd wanted it to be that, though I tried to think of other things it could have been. I didn't want to get my hopes up."
The puzzle pieces that were Mara Jade began to fit together, but there was still another he hoped to decipher. And she was more generous now than usual, sharing things with him that he knew she would never have shared before, so maybe she would answer this for him.
"Mara," he said, and touched her wrist. She looked at him. "That day a couple weeks ago, in the garden. Why were you so angry?"
She smiled at him, wistfully. "Not everyone can defy gravity so easily," she whispered. "And not all of us are free to try. The ground isn't necessarily the only thing gravity pulls us towards. If you could escape one kind of gravity, maybe you could escape another, and I can't even--" She stopped, as if unwilling to say more, but Luke understood. For maybe the first time, he understood.
He slid his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. She fought for a moment, said sharply, "I don't need to be coddled. Just because I'm telling you certain things doesn't mean--" but he looked at her, just looked at her, and she sighed and relaxed in his embrace, and even brought her arms up to wrap around him.
"I don't coddle," he murmured into her ear as their bodies pressed close together. "Comfort's not the same thing. Needing it doesn't make you weak."
"What do you know?" she retorted, but without any real ire. But she was still ill at ease with being comforted, or with the idea of needing that comfort, and he decided to share something with her.
"When I found out who my father was, I was devastated," he said, closing his eyes and remembering that day so many years ago now.
"Why?" Mara asked, lifting her head from where it had been tucked beneath his chin and looking at him. "He's the second-most powerful person in the galaxy."
"And I just saw him kill two people right in front of me," he told her. "They were Jedi, but they were trying to protect me, from him. Everyone thought I needed protecting from him. They thought he would kill me, and convinced me of the same thing."
"But...you're his son." She was confused, and he didn't blame her. "Why would they think he would kill you?"
"I may be his son, but he's still a Sith Lord," he reminded her. "They--the Jedi, and my aunt and uncle--couldn't have known that he still cared about having family. Remember how I told you once that Palpatine didn't want me to be trained, because there are only supposed to be two Sith at a time? For all the Jedi knew, he would have had greater loyalty to the Sith than to his family, and killed me instead of trained me, because I'm strong in the Force and could have grown up to oppose him."
"That's horrible," she whispered, and his hand rose from her back to stroke her hair.
"It is," he agreed. "And my father...the galaxy is afraid of him. You know his reputation as well as I do. I was a child, and I was afraid of him, too. When I found out that he was my father...I was still afraid of him, because there still was his reputation. How could I not be devastated, knowing that my father was the man the galaxy was terrified of?" He sighed. "And somehow, he knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. Would you believe that he hugged me? I almost didn't at the time, but then I realized...if a Sith Lord could hug me, then there had to be more to him than just being the Sith Lord."
"As there's more to you."
He smiled at her, and kept stroking her hair. It was such lovely hair, soft and silky, if slightly tangled from sleeping. "I needed that comfort, then. Do you think I'm weak?"
"I did, once," she said, seriously, and though that was not what he wanted to hear, he listened. "When I saw you in the library and felt your loneliness, I thought you had to be weak. I was never--well, rarely--lonely, and I never gave into it. But I was still attracted to you, and wanted to get to know you better, and once I did, I knew how strong you were."
"It's not a weakness to feel, Mara," he said, and his other hand came up to cup her cheek. "The weakness is in making yourself not feel. Emotions make you powerful. And not just some emotions," he added, anticipating her when she opened her mouth. "Whatever the Emperor says, positive emotions can be just as much a driving force as negative ones. Tapping into my joy has given me as much power as tapping into my anger has. It's all a rush."
They lapsed into silence then, unsure of what to say next, or even if more needed to be said. They'd gotten used to their friendship, and now it changed, and there were more things to get used to. They couldn't go back to what they once were.
Mara's eyes slowly closed, and her breathing evened out as she fell asleep again. Luke reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, and froze when she shifted so that her cheek was cupped in the palm of his hand. Feeling her soft skin against his, Luke knew that there was no turning back, and knew further that he wouldn't want to.