My First Rymon Fic! "LIFE CHANGING EVENTS"
Title: Life Changing Events.
Author: Mich ( rymonrocks)
Summary: Inspired by Simon’s last minute cancellation of BGT auditions in Newcastle due to ‘filming commitments in America’. Considering the guy has every hour of the next 2 years of his life scheduled, I suspect this to be false. Ryan comes out to his Dad and Simon is left to pick up the pieces.
Disclaimer: Nope, I certainly don’t own them, would be nice though.
Rating: R - some swears, references to sex.
Warnings: Angst. Bad stuff happens with Ryan’s parents which will hopefully make you sad and angry. As Simon would say, “Sorrrrry”, but that’s the purpose of angst.
Author's Note: There is lots of nice fluffy stuff too, so please read and comment, it’s my first Rymon fic.
Ryan shifted nervously as he made the call. He hated being so needy, had spent 7 years trying to maintain the upper hand with Simon, but right now the very least he needed was to hear Simon’s comforting tone. Of course, to the outside world, nobody would consider anything about Simon to be ‘comforting’, least of all the mocking, constantly sarcastic tone to his voice. But that was for everyone else. No denying it, Simon was sarcastic, quick witted, humorous and always a step ahead; but where Ryan was concerned, he was also caring and gentle, a side of him which took considerable time to unwrap, but Ryan always knew it would be worth it in the end.
Now he needed his man more than ever, yet he was thousands of miles away, preparing for the next round of never ending auditions which when filmed for Idol are fun, the highlight of their year is being on tour, but when it’s for one of Simon’s UK shows, it’s a drag. The enforced separation has become worse over the years, yet neither wanted to admit it. They knew the score and both prided themselves on under standing each other’s work commitments. They loved their jobs, but since Simon decided to brave it and ditch the beard last year, Ryan had felt an overwhelming urge to ‘just live normally like everyone else’. By that he meant that he wanted to move into Simon’s new house with him and just behave as any couple should. No more secrets, no more beards, no more sneaking around in different cars just to end up at the same place. He was tired of the pretence and most of all just wanted to be able to refer to Simon as his boyfriend in the most casual of ways and not have someone freak out in front of him.
Reality check. Of course Ryan knew that professionally they could not risk what they had worked for all their lives, at least while they were on the most popular family show in America, anyway. He knew one thing he could do though and should have done for some time - come out to his father. His mother Connie had known for 2 years and did not receive the news well. She persuaded Ryan not to tell his dad, as she feared his response more than her own. As ever, his mum knew best.
”Listen dad, please, I’m sorry I never told you earlier, but I was scared…..scared of this….”
Gary cut his son off in full flow and turned his back to him,
“I don’t care that you never told me earlier. Don’t you think that I always suspected anyway? I just wish you never told me at all. At least we could still have some kind of relationship. I preferred to stay ignorant to all this”
“Ignorant is certainly the word” Ryan snapped. “So you can deal with me being gay as long as we never speak about it. Does that really make any sense in your head?” Ryan asked, tears streaming down his face.
“Look, I’m not sure you really know who you are. You have dated girls before…”
“So have lots of gay guys! George Michael, Elton John…” Ryan interjected, although kind of regretted his choice of ‘straight - turned gay’ men
“Oh great, well if it’s alright for bloody Elton John!! Jeez Ryan, what kind of a world do you live in? Those are not normal people, you can’t hold them up as examples to justify what you have done!”
“I’m not….i was just saying….I have dated girls, of course, that’s how I know they are not for me…I am gay Dad, you know that deep down” Ryan said, trying to sound more forceful.
“Funny how you became gay after you met Simon.” Gary almost spat the name of his son’s boyfriend all over the floor. His resentment evident.
“I knew you never liked him! Do you know how ridiculous that makes you? Everyone likes Simon, I mean literally, EVERYONE! He isn’t ‘Mr Mean, Mr Nasty, blah, blah’, everyone who knows him, likes him. Except you.”
“And your mother. and with good reason. He might be Mr Wonderful to you, but to us he is the fag that turned our son, changed you, made you one of them.” Gary’s voice tailed off with self pity for the Son he had ‘lost’.
“Is that really what you think of him? Of me?” Ryan was close to losing it now.
”Your mother will tolerate him, for your sake, but we do not condone what you are doing with him. He controls you. There were no men in your life before him. He has a hold over you”.
“This is crazy. I love him! Have you any idea how happy he has made me? How complete? Does that not count for anything? I did date some guys before Simon. Not many and not much happened, but that just means I’m not some kind of whore! Simon was the right one and the reason I came out. He was the only man worth going through all this for.”
Ryan was walking out towards the door. He had to leave now before anything else was said that would terminate his relationship with his parents forever. His father never called out to stop him and Ryan never looked back. He climbed into his car and sped away, tears stinging his eyes, almost hyper ventilating as he tried to make sense of what just happened.
After a few minutes, Ryan had to pull over. He couldn’t focus on the road ahead; his eyes and head too blurred with pain. He grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial, praying his lover would answer.
“Helloooo gorgeous”
The soft, lilting, seductive tone of Simon’s response immediately warmed Ryan’s body, yet he couldn’t speak. As much as he wanted to, he was struck by silence.
“Ryan?…...darling”
“Hey, sorry, I was errrr. What’s happening with you?” Ryan managed.
“What’s wrong, you don’t sound right?”
Simon was worried. He could read Ryan better than he ever understood himself.
”Are you alone?” Ryan asked.
”Yes. Well I am now”. Simon had just left a meeting with the producers of Britain’s Got Talent to take Ryan’s call, as he always did.
“Oh, sorry, should I call back?”
Ryan didn’t want to hang up, but part of him was trying to delay telling Simon what had just happened. He suddenly realised that as much as he needed to hear Simon’s voice; he needed to be held by him more. Wrapped up in his strong arms, shielded from the awful reality that he may never see his Dad again.
“No. Don’t be stupid. What’s wrong? You’re worrying me now. You sound funny”.
Ryan couldn’t contain it any longer, “I’m in Atlanta, I went to see Dad. I told him everything. He hates me. He hates you even more. He won’t ever accept us, or even me, like this. I’ve ruined everything…..”
Silence. Simon was shocked. He knew Ryan longed to come out to his Dad but didn’t expect him to do it on a whim and certainly not after his mom was less than happy when she was told.
“Why did you do it without me? I should have been there. We always said I would be there!” Simon was getting angry now, mainly because he knew Ryan was alone and hurting.
“I just got so frustrated by the whole charade we have going on. Lying to the press and even friends is one thing, but I wanted Dad to know the real me. You don’t know what it’s like, your have, like, the most accepting family on earth…”
“Not really…they were not happy about it for a long while, but they didn’t treat me any differently. In fact I’d say most of them accept it better now I have you than before. They can see how happy you have made me.“ Simon reasoned and Ryan smiled at the thought of Simon’s family being grateful for his influence.
“I know. I wish I didn’t do it now. I wish you were here. I need…..” Ryan stopped himself from revealing how much he needed Simon. Not because he didn’t want him to know, but because he knew it would upset him - thousands of miles away, unable to comfort him.
“Where are you now?”
”I just left Mom’s, I’m going to the airport. Will just have to take the first flight out of here, I couldn’t stand it at home any longer. Nothing was going to change his mind”.
“You can’t get a flight back in that state. Wait there, I’ll see what I can do. Or just go to the airport anyway, but don’t take a flight. Just wait for me to ring”.
Ryan took Simon’s instructions. Happy for decisions to be made for him, as he was in no clear mind to think.
Simon immediately made a call to the agency who handles his private jet. He always had one based in LA on standby and could be in Atlanta in a few hours. In the meantime, he booked Ryan into the most prestigious hotel in Atlanta near the airport and called him back with the arrangements.
”Just check in and relax as much as you can. I don’t want you to have to face anyone while you are so upset. Sleep if you can and then I’ll send a car to take you to the plane, OK?”
Ryan felt overwhelmed by Simon’s protective nature and appreciated his kindness, but for Simon this was not enough. He couldn’t concentrate as he tried to continue with his working day. He needed to be with Ryan as much as Ryan needed him to be there. It wasn’t right that Ryan should go through this alone.
Simon tried to be everything to Ryan - his boyfriend, his soul mate, his family. Unlike Simon, Ryan had few people in his life who he was really close to. He had lots of friends and was actually more sociable than Simon, who preferred to keep just a few friends like Jackie and Sinitta close to him, but when it came to the crunch, Ryan only had Simon who he could truly open up to emotionally. A responsibility like that would previously have terrified Simon, but over the years he had gradually let his own barriers down and grown to enjoy looking after Ryan and being responsible for another person’s well being. There was no fear there and more significantly, Simon had allowed himself to be loved and cared for too.
“Piers? It’s Simon”
“Hello Cowell. How’s things? Looking forward to Newcastle?! Can’t see us finding much talent up there, they are just so….”
Simon cut him off in his tracks,
”Piers, I’m just calling to say the Newcastle auditions are off. Something’s come up. There’s no time to reschedule, contestants can try out in another city if they like. Anyway, I’ve got to go”.
“Hang on Simon! How can they be cancelled at such short notice? What’s happened?” Piers, being an ex journo, always had to dig deeper.
“Idol. I’ve got to film stuff for Idol. I’m off to LA now”, Simon almost snapped, trying to end the call.
”Stuff?! What kind of stuff. Surely your have responsibilities here?” Piers knew this was most out of character for Simon, who hated letting people down.
“Oh look it’s complicated Piers. It’s personal actually, but official line is - I’m filming in America, ok? So just go with that.”
“Are you ok? You’re not ill or anything?” Piers sounded genuinely worried.
“No, no, no. I’m fine. Well I’m not, but look, it’s Ryan, ok, I need to be with him. Something’s happened, a family matter and I need to be there for him.
Piers had known about Simon’s relationship with Ryan for some time. Having known Simon for over 20 years, long before he was famous, he knew more about Simon than most people realised. They were not close friends, but liked and respected each other and Max advised Simon early on that he should keep as many people who knew his secret on the pay roll as possible, hence the unlikely role as a Judge on Got Talent.
“Wow, OK, well I hope everything’s alright for you both. Must be serious if you are cancelling work. Christ, that boy’s had some effect on you!” Piers remarked.
Simon smiled at the thought then suddenly become serious, “Look, I just thought, I’m 49, I have dedicated my whole life to my career, it’s my fucking show and at the end of the day, people will get over the disappointment. My work always comes first, but not this time. It’s not as if I have anyone to answer to really, it’s my call and if anyone does have a problem with it then….well… whatever.” Simon’s voice trailed off, aware that he was becoming a bit too emotional for his own liking.
“It’s ok, I can understand. We all have emergencies to deal with from time to time, with out partners. Usually people just say, ‘my wife needs me’ or ‘my husband needs me’ and they’re off, but you can’t just say that, can you? It must be tough” Piers tried to sympathise.
”Yeah it is sometimes. Thanks. Don’t tell anyone else will you?”
“Of course not, I’ll tow the party line Sir Cowell, don’t want anyone discovering what a soppy old queen you are!”
“Right shut up now, you’ve made your point Morgan”.
As Simon was preparing to leave for the airport, he suddenly had an idea. Why not bring Ryan to him? He needed a change of scenery and knew the following Monday was a public holiday anyway. He could always make a few calls and clear his schedule for him and he was sure Ryan would love the surprise. Decision made, Simon called through to his Pilot and instructed him to collect Ryan from Atlanta and bring him to London (on the basis that Ryan thought he was going returning to LA).
Over 4 hours had passed when Ryan realised that the Pilot had not informed him of their planned descent to LAX, so he picked up the intercom through to him.
“Excuse me Sir, I was just wondering when we were likely to land. Have we been delayed?” Ryan asked.
“No Mr Seacrest, there is no delay. We are scheduled to land in London in approximately 6 hours time, Sir.”
“London? But you know we should be going to LAX right?”
“Sir, I have been instructed to take you to London by Mr Cowell. I have no further details, although I know someone will meet you upon arrival”
Ryan’s heart was beating so fast, he could barely hide his excitement. Having felt so down just moments ago, he knew he was just hours from seeing Simon and was thrilled at the effort he had gone too. He picked up his cell and began to text,
"Hey darlin', can't believe u done all this 4 me. Can’t wait 2 c u xx”
Seconds later, a reply.
”hehe, thought u would be happy. Rest assured my gorgeous boy, there will be a large package waiting for your arrival x”
“I’m sure there is. Are you meeting me at the airport?”
“Might do. Wait and see. Probably depends if I can manoevere this large package into my car. Could be quite tricky”
“lol, don’t flatter yourself too much there baby. Actually I have no idea what we are talking about now. You are full of surprises today”.
“Yep. More of that to cum sweetheart! U feeling any better now? I cancelled your voice over stuff with E!”
“Oh thanks. How did u do that? Never mind. I’ll feel better when I see u”
“Good answer. Going now, stuff to do. Lots of love x”
Ryan sighed and sat there for some time staring at the last text. The last 24 hours had been crazy, his emotions were uncontrollable. All he wanted now was to curl up on the sofa with Simon and sleep. For once, he wasn’t even thinking about the sex, which was never far from his mind where Simon was concerned. He just wanted to be near him.
After a light nap, Ryan awoke with the news that they were preparing to land in London. He tried to freshen up as much as he could, but worried that his eyes still looked too red and puffy from all the tears. After a quick passport check, Ryan was led outside to the waiting ‘Phantom’. He tapped on the back seat window, knowing that Simon would not be driving and hoping that he would indeed be there.
Simon crouched down low, hit the button and let the window drop, whilst pushing a handful of balloons through the gap. They all read different messages, ‘Welcome Home’, ‘Love You’, ‘Be Mine’ and one heart shaped balloon. Ryan giggled as he clutched them,
“Are you going to let me in? This is not exactly discreet!”
Simon opened the door and Ryan climbed in, immediately letting go of the balloons once they were safely inside and wrapped his arms around Simon, virtually straddling him in the process.
”Ryyyyan! We do have company you know” Simon teased, nodding towards his driver.
”I’m not being dirty! What is all this? This is not you, you don’t do this stuff - balloons and hearts” Ryan asked, in between kissing Simon.
“Not as a rule, but I can make exceptions. In fact you are the exception to most of my rules.” Simon smiled - that dazzling, captivating smile which never failed to melt Ryan.
“I brought you these too” Simon said, handing Ryan a big box of Jaffa Cakes, one of his favourite ‘British’ things.
”Aww, you remembered!” Ryan cooed, referring to his last visit to London when he became addicted to the chocolate orangey sponge treat.
As they drove to Holland Park, Ryan remained astride Simon, kissing his neck, taking in his intoxicating citrus scent, nibbling his ears and whispering all the things he wanted to do to him. For someone who was not even in the mood to think about sex earlier, seeing Simon had sure changed his perspective.
“Easy will you. I have to walk out of here!” Simon squirmed, as he held Ryan’s hips down and let him feel the full impact of his attention.
Ryan just giggled, “I have a feeling this will not be a long session” he teased.
”Oh who needs all that tantric bollocks anyway, give me a quick hard fuck any day!” Simon exclaimed.
”Simon! You are such an embarrassment sometimes” Ryan said, alluding to the driver who obviously heard.
“Oh, of course, I’'m 'the embarrassment! I’m sure he thinks nothing of the fact that your face has been glued to my neck for the past 20 minutes, plus all the bloody thrusting into me you’ve been doing”.
Ryan tried to hide the huge grin that had taken over his face, but it was hopeless. Simon too was enamored with his boy and so happy to see all those tears behind him. He gently cupped Ryan’s face and trailed his thumb across Ryan’s cheek.
”You’ve been crying a lot” he said, the sad tone to his voice apparent.
”mmm. No more though” was all Ryan could manage, not wishing to lose the high which Simon had given him.
They pulled up to Simon’s house and quickly scanned the area for paps. Simon decided to walk in first, knowing if any were lurking, they would take his picture. He had a good relationship with them and made a point to stop and chat when he did spot them. He liked to be polite anyway, but it made sense to keep them on side. With the coast clear, he waved to Ryan who quickly darted in, hugging the balloons close to him. Once inside, Simon made tea and they shared some cake; just sitting there staring at each other for a while; the enormity of the past 2 days was overwhelming.
“I know I can’t make everything alright. I can’t take back all that stuff your parents said, but I hope you realise that my family are yours too. Mum, Nick, Tony, they think of you as their own. They can never replace your family and maybe in time your dad will see sense, but in the meantime, you shouldn’t feel alone.” Simon finally broke the silence.
”I don’t, I know I have you and Nick almost treats me like a brother too and I’m still close to mom, despite everything” Ryan tried to make himself feel better.
“Your Dad needed to know, hear it from you, just incase we ever do get caught, plus It was a lot of pressure for your mum to keep us a secret. Meredith has been great anyway, you always have her. Somepeople lose their whole family when they come out. That won’t happen to us, plus we have each other”. Simon was hoping that Ryan would get round to that point, but it had so far unintentionally failed him.
“I know, I know, darlin’ don’t think I regret this, I don’t. You are everything in my life”. Ryan said, moving over to where Simon was sitting and taking his hand.
”I’m glad it’s over. They all know now. We will just have to see what the future brings.” Ryan concluded.
”Well it brings me, if that’s any good to you?” Simon asked sheepishly.
“mmm I guess I could put up with you for a bit longer” Ryan mocked, running his hand through Simon’s thick hair.
”Just a bit? Who you planning on dumping me for then? Don’t you dare say Cooper! If you ever dump me it has to be for someone less attractive, fatter and preferably older than me. Ok? With no charisma.” Simon added.
”Just a small list to consider then. And what do you mean ‘older’?! As if I’m going to date a guy older than you!” Ryan quipped.
“Erm, Ryyyan, wrong answer. You should have said, ‘Simon, there will never be another. You are mine and I am yours forever’ Simon said, camping it up just a notch.
Ryan laughed and kissed Simon’s forehead.
“You can kiss me in other places, you know, we are not on air now.”
”I like kissing your head” Ryan remarked innocently.
They both looked at each other for a few seconds then burst out laughing.
After a quick shower and a long, slow, sensual fuck, not quite tantric status, but enough to feel wonderfully satisfied, they lay in each other’s arms for a few hours.
Simon woke Ryan at 3am, with another surprise.
“Come on, get dressed. We have somewhere to go” he urged.
“What now? It’s late or too early, whichever…” Ryan was feeling groggy.
“It will be worth it, trust me. Wear these” Simon handed him a big scarf and a woolly hat”.
”Do you want to play cops and robbers?” Ryan teased.
“Very funny, just wear them and get a move on. Although I might remember that idea for later, as long as I can dress up as the Cop!”
Simon took his beloved Mini Cooper out of the garage and drove for 10 minutes down to the River Thames. As soon as they arrived, Ryan knew what was happening.
“Remember last time you were here, you wished we could walk along the river like normal couples, hold hands and all that slushy stuff whilst taking in the sights?” Simon asked.
“Of course, it would be magic”
”Well let the magic begin baby!” Simon exclaimed, even more excited than he realised, having thought he was really only doing this for Ryan’s benefit.
”Are you serious? We might get caught”.
“No, it’s dead here at this time. Most of the restaurants and bars are set back from the river. Look, there’s barely anyone about. As long as we keep our disguise on we’ll be fine”.
Ryan couldn’t help but laugh as Simon pulled the large woolly hat over his head.
“What?” he asked.
“Sorry, you just look so funny in that hat. I’ve never seen you wear one before.”
“That’s because I have never worn a hat before, which makes it a bloody good disguise, now show some appreciation and take my hand Seacrest!”
Ryan laughed and grabbed Simon’s hand as they began their stroll along the river. It truly was magical. As corny and unlike them as it can get. They had never shown this level of affection in public before, but the romantic, moonlit setting and peaceful surroundings made it one of the most special moments of their lives.
After a while they found a place to sit and stayed there watching the calm waters for what felt like hours. Simon wrapped his arm around Ryan’s shoulder, who snuggled into him, feeling a level of happiness and contentment previously unknown.
”Are you happy?” Simon asked. “I mean really, really, completely happy, because I am. I don’t think it gets better than this”.
“I am, Si, I so am. This is just wonderful. I feel like we’re a normal couple, like tourists enjoying a romantic evening together, in public”.
”I’m not a tourist Ryan” Simon added, with strange sincerity.
”Why do you always take things so literally?! You’re adorable.” Ryan stood up and walked over to the barriers by the river. As he hoped, Simon followed and stood behind him, kissing his neck, pulling Ryan close to him.
”One day, we will be able to do this always, I promise. We will lose the silly hats, obviously. When the time is right, everyone will know how crazy I am for you. Although I can’t always guarantee this level of public affection. only on special occasions, OK?”
“So why is this a special occasion then?” Ryan asked.
“Because for the first time in my life I put someone before my work and predictably, that someone was you.” Simon didn’t need to say more than that, Ryan understood they were forever.