FF: Realignment
SHOW: The West Wing
PAIRING: Josh/Donna
DATE: 21/10/2001
RATING: 12's
SPOILERS: General Season One, ITSOTG
DISCLAIMER: I have no claim whatsoever to these characters.
SUMMARY: `Of late, she's been his strength, and it makes him feel
vulnerable.'
FEEDBACK: Why, yes! This is in a very different style from how I
usually write: I've never written something in 3rd person before, nor
have I ever managed to write anything from Josh's POV, so please tell
me what you think.
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"Donna!"
"You bellowed?"
He thinks this is how it begins - people creeping around him, and
it's bugging the crap out of him. It's best to put a stop to it
right away; otherwise, he'll just be The One Who Got Shot.
"Why are Leo and Toby asking you if they can come see me, not if I
have a spare minute, but if you will let them in?"
She's silent for a moment, assessing her options. "That may have had
something to do with your…" There's no easy way to say this, she
thinks, "events last May."
"Donna," There's an edge to his voice, "Are the rules still in
place?"
"Oh no!" She replies quickly, "Long gone, vamoose!"
She's looking at him straight in the eye, so she can't be lying. It
occurs to him that he's not asking the right questions.
"*When* did you last talk to Toby?"
"Umm, about you? A while ago." She wills him to drop it. There's no
chance of this, but then, she's always been an optimist.
"So, when you were talking to Toby about me, all this time ago. A
week? Two weeks ago? What exactly did you say to him?"
She's lost. She knows it.
"I told him I'd kick his ass if he came near you with more work."
She confesses.
"I bet my mother was standing behind you cheering and waving"
"Your mother and I saw eye to eye on your health, Joshua, I admit
that. We both took our roles in your recuperation quite seriously,
y'know."
"I know. I was there."
She decides to test the waters somewhat, watching for his
reaction, "She said I was another Joanie."
He's caught of guard, and looks up sharply. "She said what?"
She curses her curiosity, and tendency to mouth off. "I... I said,
your mother said I was another Joanie."
He sighs a little, and rubs his eyes, and she realises that there's a
reason she's not in the diplomatic corps. But still...
"Josh," She begins, and she thinks that this probably isn't the time
and place for this question, and she really should shut up now, but
it will just get forgotten about, and she's realised of late how much
she wants to get rid of all the unpleasantness from Josh's life, just
to make things better for him. She would have gladly taken that
bullet for him.
But it's now or never, and tact has never been her greatest strength.
"Who's Joanie?"
He looks up at her and she recognises that haunted look in his eyes
from the night his father died.
"She..." He fades out, looking around the office. "Today is my
first day back at the office, Donna. Just let me get through it
fairly uneventfully, okay?"
She thinks it's the greatest of non-sequiters, to refer back to
work. Then it strikes her that he's putting her in her place. His
recuperation is complete; go back to work. This is her place in his
life - she keeps his appointments on schedule, she feed him nodules
of pointless information and trivia about whatever he's working on
for both relief and focus. In-store entertainment. If he's too ill
to work, then it's her job to nurse him back to health. Just like
what happened. Everything else is his personal space, and she's just
infringed.
She's gutted. She feels stupid. Just because of what happened in
May, she assumed they could cross certain boundaries.
She gets up to leave, as quickly as humanly possible, stating that
she needs to photocopy some files. She'll have to take a detour to
the restroom, of course. She's always cried easily. She wonders
wildly if Joanie is Josh's ex-wife. She doesn't know about that much
of his life before the campaign. She didn't have time to ask. He's
nearly forty, he's had time to marry and divorce. He's just the type
to nurse a broken heart, and sacrifice his wife to a career, she adds
bitterly.
She's still tiding and collecting the files as he watches her. Josh
can see expressions fleeting across her face, and he comforts himself
that whatever happens, he can always read Donna like a book. First
upset, about how she's not in on the secret, and then pissed off,
about being left out on purpose. He'd tell her certainly, but not
here in the office, because whatever about telling CJ the bare facts,
he'd end up confessing everything to Donna, and in the process bawl
his eyes out. He thinks that maybe a bit of space would be
beneficial to both parties. Of late, she's been his strength, and it
makes him feel vulnerable.
When she straightens up, with a defensive, purposely blank look on
her face, it occurs to him that he's misread the expressions, and he
doesn't quite know her as well as he though. He remembers never saw
her cry, never even red-eyed, the whole time he was sick, yet his
mother ordered him to tread carefully with her. In retrospect, she
may have been referring to a different situation, but he shelves that
thought for much, much later.
She's walking out the door, and Josh realises he has to do something,
say something to make things better.
"Donna?"
She turns slowly, a very bad sign. He's always noticed that when she
feels vulnerable, she slows down, as if to give herself time to plan
defence.
"I'm thinking I need to eat at some point tonight. You want Chinese,
or pizza?"
She stares at him. He's giving her a somewhat shaky version of his
cocksure grin, and they both know it's an olive branch.
"I'm really not that hungry."
His bravado falls. Her point is made.
"And besides, I'll probably keel over from shock when it sinks in
that you let me choose where to eat."
He grins and thinks, no, they don't really need space. They do just
fine together. Little by little, they'll get together, just letting
the pieces trickle into place.
"And Donna?"
"Yeah?"
"You're not another Joanie. I mean, you're quite like her, but
really you're... you're very much you, Donna."
"May I take that as a complement?"
"You certainly may. Don't start, y'know, attempting to be someone
else on me."
He gets up to leave, taking the folders out of her hand, and ushering
her out the door. "I'll tell you about Joanie another time, I
promise. It's just that..."
She shushes him. It's okay, he'll tell her later.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The End