LJ Idol: Black Rainbow
The outer layer is bluish-gray. Cadet blue, Crayola called it. It's the usual place we reside. A soft place. Not too bright, no sharp edges. Indistinguishable from normality because it is normal for us. Joy can reach us here though. A quiet kind of joy, but still.
Next is a darker shade of blue. Like before, but the joy that gets through is quieter, shrew-sized rather than rat-sized. Otherwise, same.
Then a purple-gray. There is no Crayola for this unless you make it yourself. We come here often. It's a dull place where duty reigns supreme. We do what we have to do because we have to do it. Otherwise we're a failure. Joy is something we look at through the window. Our heart is heavier, the clouds are closer. They, too, are soft.
From here there is no color, only gray. The gray of clouds on a sunless day. Sadness is the only emotion that comes through. All our faults take center stage. They're playing the role of the elephant in the room. We pretend they aren't there because everyone else is pretending they're not. But we know we're only faking it to get through the day.
Dark dark gray next. This isn't a place we come to often. Maybe once or twice. It's terrifying here. Only screams and tears and sharpness. Let's not stay too long.
Beyond that is black. Darkness, unrelenting flat black. No colors. No shading. Nothing beyond. It's a lifeless place. Sometimes we like to look at it but...it's too final.
It's the gradation between the colors that's most fascinating. Moving back and forth through them. Backing out completely just to go back in when the brightness is too bright. Going all the way into black is just too much. Once you go that far what else is there? Maybe there's something behind the black but we all get there eventually. Until then, we continue to shimmer even if it's only in shades of gray.
Besides, gray can be beautiful. It has gradations, shades, personalities. And it's a comfortable place to be. Especially since we've been here so long.
Next is a darker shade of blue. Like before, but the joy that gets through is quieter, shrew-sized rather than rat-sized. Otherwise, same.
Then a purple-gray. There is no Crayola for this unless you make it yourself. We come here often. It's a dull place where duty reigns supreme. We do what we have to do because we have to do it. Otherwise we're a failure. Joy is something we look at through the window. Our heart is heavier, the clouds are closer. They, too, are soft.
From here there is no color, only gray. The gray of clouds on a sunless day. Sadness is the only emotion that comes through. All our faults take center stage. They're playing the role of the elephant in the room. We pretend they aren't there because everyone else is pretending they're not. But we know we're only faking it to get through the day.
Dark dark gray next. This isn't a place we come to often. Maybe once or twice. It's terrifying here. Only screams and tears and sharpness. Let's not stay too long.
Beyond that is black. Darkness, unrelenting flat black. No colors. No shading. Nothing beyond. It's a lifeless place. Sometimes we like to look at it but...it's too final.
It's the gradation between the colors that's most fascinating. Moving back and forth through them. Backing out completely just to go back in when the brightness is too bright. Going all the way into black is just too much. Once you go that far what else is there? Maybe there's something behind the black but we all get there eventually. Until then, we continue to shimmer even if it's only in shades of gray.
Besides, gray can be beautiful. It has gradations, shades, personalities. And it's a comfortable place to be. Especially since we've been here so long.