Idol Week 11: Wild Goose Chase
Gabe McAdams & the Canada Goose
Gabe McAdams almost pranced down the road towards Statesville. All his self-confidence returned as soon as he was out of reach of the Salisbury Witch's spells. So he had to trade a bag of beans for a cow? No problem. He was the greatest salesman the world had ever seen. These country hicks didn't stand a chance against his charm. He'd have a new cow for the witch in less than a week.
He turned towards a farmhouse he saw off the main road. A boy was driving four cows to pasture. Gabe tucked the bag of beans into his pocket, stowed his carpet bag under a bush by the turn-off, and followed the herd. He reached them just as the boy was replacing the top rail of the fence after the last cow. He patted the bag of beans hanging at his belt
"Mornin', son."
"Mornin' mister."
"Those are some mighty fine cows you've got there. Just so happens I'm in the market for a good cow."
The boy shrugged. "You'll have to ask my pa about that. They're his cows. Don't think he'd be willin to sell any of 'em though. They's all gravid."
"That's fine by me. I don't mind gettin' an extra calf." Gabe flashed his most charming smile. It had no effect on the sullen child.
"He ain't givin' up them calves. We lost half the stock over the winter and he wants to build the herd back up."
"Well, he can keep the calf then. Where is your pa, boy? I'd like to see if he'd be interested in what I have to offer."
The boy tilted his head over his shoulder. "Over at the house."
Gabe reached down and loosened the bag at his belt. As he turned to head to the farmhouse, he tripped over a Canada goose that was waddling along the cow path heading towards a nearby pond. The goose flapped its wings at Gabe, squawking uproariously. One wing hit the bag, sending beans flying all over. A couple of beans fell down the goose's open beak and down its throat.
"Dad-blasted goose!" Gabe yelled, swatting at the bird. His hand stuck to the goose's back.
"HONK!" said the goose. It flapped its wings to fly away but it couldn't get far with Gabe's hand stuck to it.
The boy fell over laughing at the sight of the man and goose struggling against each other. What with his shrieks, Gabe's hollering, and the goose's honking, no one heard the farmer storming up the path in a fine fury.
"Eli! What are you doing dilly-dallyin'? Git back to the house and finish your chores boy! I told you to..." He stopped in the middle of his rant and stared at the spectacle before him. Gabe was dancing on one foot trying to pull the goose out of the sky. The goose kept flapping furiously trying to get free of the strange man's hand. The farmer started laughing, too.
Things went on that way for about ten minutes before the exhausted goose fell to the ground, bringing Gabe with it. Weakly, the salesman began scooping the trampled beans back into his pouch. "No-good witch," he muttered.
"Damn, mister, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a month o' Sundays!" the farmer said once he got his breath back. "How in 'ell you manage to get your hand stuck to a goose?"
"It these beans," Gabe grumbled. "Got 'em from a witch up Salisbury way. Guess they're magic."
"Oh, her," the farmer said. "Got yourself on her bad side, huh? Got you doin' some impossible task to make it right again? Tradin' pins for a horse or somethin' like that?"
"Yeah, somethin' like that," replied Gabe. "Thank you son," he said to Eli who handed him a handful of beans.
"You gonna walk around with a goose on your hand forever?" the boy asked.
"Lord, I hope not."
The farmer scratched his head. "Y'know, I don't hold much with witchcraft, but I 'member hearin' somethin' about how grass takes spells off birds. Somethin' about earth and air. Maybe if you gave the goose a piece of grass to eat, your hand'd fall off. Worth a try."
"I'll try anything," Gabe said.
"Eli! Go find some goosegrass!"
Eli climbed over the fence into the pasture. He dropped to his knees and began searching the ground. After a minute or so he ripped up a clump of grass and carried it over to the panting bird. It reached out its beak and nibbled at the stems. When it had finished half the clump, Gabe's hand fell off the goose's back.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Gabe shook the farmer and his son's hands gratefully.
"Glad we could help. Least we could do after all the entertainment you gave us this mornin'."
Gabe tucked the pouch back under his belt. No sense in trying to make the trade now. "I guess I'll be on my way, then."
"Good luck satisfyin' the witch, mister!" Eli called. Gabe didn't hear him. He was too busy running down the cow path back to the main road. What a fiasco!
A couple of days later one of the beans that had been trampled into the mud sprouted. Within a week the stalk was taller than the farmhouse. Within two weeks it was covered in bean pods. Eli's father began selling the beans in town. By the end of the summer he was shipping beans all over the Piedmont.
Gabe McAdams almost pranced down the road towards Statesville. All his self-confidence returned as soon as he was out of reach of the Salisbury Witch's spells. So he had to trade a bag of beans for a cow? No problem. He was the greatest salesman the world had ever seen. These country hicks didn't stand a chance against his charm. He'd have a new cow for the witch in less than a week.
He turned towards a farmhouse he saw off the main road. A boy was driving four cows to pasture. Gabe tucked the bag of beans into his pocket, stowed his carpet bag under a bush by the turn-off, and followed the herd. He reached them just as the boy was replacing the top rail of the fence after the last cow. He patted the bag of beans hanging at his belt
"Mornin', son."
"Mornin' mister."
"Those are some mighty fine cows you've got there. Just so happens I'm in the market for a good cow."
The boy shrugged. "You'll have to ask my pa about that. They're his cows. Don't think he'd be willin to sell any of 'em though. They's all gravid."
"That's fine by me. I don't mind gettin' an extra calf." Gabe flashed his most charming smile. It had no effect on the sullen child.
"He ain't givin' up them calves. We lost half the stock over the winter and he wants to build the herd back up."
"Well, he can keep the calf then. Where is your pa, boy? I'd like to see if he'd be interested in what I have to offer."
The boy tilted his head over his shoulder. "Over at the house."
Gabe reached down and loosened the bag at his belt. As he turned to head to the farmhouse, he tripped over a Canada goose that was waddling along the cow path heading towards a nearby pond. The goose flapped its wings at Gabe, squawking uproariously. One wing hit the bag, sending beans flying all over. A couple of beans fell down the goose's open beak and down its throat.
"Dad-blasted goose!" Gabe yelled, swatting at the bird. His hand stuck to the goose's back.
"HONK!" said the goose. It flapped its wings to fly away but it couldn't get far with Gabe's hand stuck to it.
The boy fell over laughing at the sight of the man and goose struggling against each other. What with his shrieks, Gabe's hollering, and the goose's honking, no one heard the farmer storming up the path in a fine fury.
"Eli! What are you doing dilly-dallyin'? Git back to the house and finish your chores boy! I told you to..." He stopped in the middle of his rant and stared at the spectacle before him. Gabe was dancing on one foot trying to pull the goose out of the sky. The goose kept flapping furiously trying to get free of the strange man's hand. The farmer started laughing, too.
Things went on that way for about ten minutes before the exhausted goose fell to the ground, bringing Gabe with it. Weakly, the salesman began scooping the trampled beans back into his pouch. "No-good witch," he muttered.
"Damn, mister, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a month o' Sundays!" the farmer said once he got his breath back. "How in 'ell you manage to get your hand stuck to a goose?"
"It these beans," Gabe grumbled. "Got 'em from a witch up Salisbury way. Guess they're magic."
"Oh, her," the farmer said. "Got yourself on her bad side, huh? Got you doin' some impossible task to make it right again? Tradin' pins for a horse or somethin' like that?"
"Yeah, somethin' like that," replied Gabe. "Thank you son," he said to Eli who handed him a handful of beans.
"You gonna walk around with a goose on your hand forever?" the boy asked.
"Lord, I hope not."
The farmer scratched his head. "Y'know, I don't hold much with witchcraft, but I 'member hearin' somethin' about how grass takes spells off birds. Somethin' about earth and air. Maybe if you gave the goose a piece of grass to eat, your hand'd fall off. Worth a try."
"I'll try anything," Gabe said.
"Eli! Go find some goosegrass!"
Eli climbed over the fence into the pasture. He dropped to his knees and began searching the ground. After a minute or so he ripped up a clump of grass and carried it over to the panting bird. It reached out its beak and nibbled at the stems. When it had finished half the clump, Gabe's hand fell off the goose's back.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Gabe shook the farmer and his son's hands gratefully.
"Glad we could help. Least we could do after all the entertainment you gave us this mornin'."
Gabe tucked the pouch back under his belt. No sense in trying to make the trade now. "I guess I'll be on my way, then."
"Good luck satisfyin' the witch, mister!" Eli called. Gabe didn't hear him. He was too busy running down the cow path back to the main road. What a fiasco!
A couple of days later one of the beans that had been trampled into the mud sprouted. Within a week the stalk was taller than the farmhouse. Within two weeks it was covered in bean pods. Eli's father began selling the beans in town. By the end of the summer he was shipping beans all over the Piedmont.