Home for Thanksgiving Break!
Finally, Thanksgiving Break is here! I've been needing a break from Frostburg for quite some time now. Even the smallest things would get on my last nerves, but could never express my feelings towards them. Yes- I do miss my sorority sisters, but the rest of this week is going to be a time for family, friends here at home, and just 'me' time alone.
I've been struggling for over a year now, since the break-up from my ex. I don't know how to express it, but I'm still so in love with them & miss them oh so much. It hurts me to think maybe I was just a number to them now, since they've gone through relationships and never seem to know what exactly they're looking for. The closer they find someone true.. to my point of view they think there's something better waiting for them, so they just drop people like flies. Maybe I'm wrong and I don't want to sound harsh or mean in any way nor shape or form. I'm just deeply hurt by the ex doubting what was truly there between 'us' What more can I do to make them believe I'd do anything for them if only they take me back. I'd give them the world if I could or at least come close to it. Yea- others say it's 'their' lose for letting me go, but I'm not quite sure anymore on what to think of myself. "Will I ever be good enough for someone?" "Will I ever find true love again..love at first site..mutual feelings between me and another?" So many questions, but it seems there's no answers. I'm hanging in there on a thread that can easily be broken. So lost & confused..
Recently, I've been having crushes left & right.. I make the first move and guess what I was totally wrong or I should of realized the truth.. those I've been crushing on are those I can't never have. I just wish just like how my ex came into my life that there be someone unexpectedly pop out of no where to rescue me from this rut of loneliness. I miss the happiness I once discovered through my ex. I miss the times we've shared with one another & with our friends. That summer when it all began will always be that summer that impacted my life to the extreme! Now- I'm just going to try to lay back & be patient.. allow the 'other' whomever they should be to make the first move. I'm tired of heart break & so tired of this confusion of what ifs?!?
Just another day to vent/clear my head so I can move on til the next day..
Thanksgiving Break shall be great.. looking forward to spending time with the family again..hopefully meet up with those friends I've lost in touch while up in Frostburg, & help me figure out when it's the best time to start writing that 'last letter' to my ex. I still don't have closure & I think that's what's kicking my a** right now. In between feelings/thoughts.. best stop before I can't stop at all with venting on this LJ.
--Truly I hope everyone who reads this.. has a wonderful thanksgiving and if ya ever need anything.. just holler! & I'll be right there.. IM me or Call me!
I've been struggling for over a year now, since the break-up from my ex. I don't know how to express it, but I'm still so in love with them & miss them oh so much. It hurts me to think maybe I was just a number to them now, since they've gone through relationships and never seem to know what exactly they're looking for. The closer they find someone true.. to my point of view they think there's something better waiting for them, so they just drop people like flies. Maybe I'm wrong and I don't want to sound harsh or mean in any way nor shape or form. I'm just deeply hurt by the ex doubting what was truly there between 'us' What more can I do to make them believe I'd do anything for them if only they take me back. I'd give them the world if I could or at least come close to it. Yea- others say it's 'their' lose for letting me go, but I'm not quite sure anymore on what to think of myself. "Will I ever be good enough for someone?" "Will I ever find true love again..love at first site..mutual feelings between me and another?" So many questions, but it seems there's no answers. I'm hanging in there on a thread that can easily be broken. So lost & confused..
Recently, I've been having crushes left & right.. I make the first move and guess what I was totally wrong or I should of realized the truth.. those I've been crushing on are those I can't never have. I just wish just like how my ex came into my life that there be someone unexpectedly pop out of no where to rescue me from this rut of loneliness. I miss the happiness I once discovered through my ex. I miss the times we've shared with one another & with our friends. That summer when it all began will always be that summer that impacted my life to the extreme! Now- I'm just going to try to lay back & be patient.. allow the 'other' whomever they should be to make the first move. I'm tired of heart break & so tired of this confusion of what ifs?!?
Just another day to vent/clear my head so I can move on til the next day..
Thanksgiving Break shall be great.. looking forward to spending time with the family again..hopefully meet up with those friends I've lost in touch while up in Frostburg, & help me figure out when it's the best time to start writing that 'last letter' to my ex. I still don't have closure & I think that's what's kicking my a** right now. In between feelings/thoughts.. best stop before I can't stop at all with venting on this LJ.
--Truly I hope everyone who reads this.. has a wonderful thanksgiving and if ya ever need anything.. just holler! & I'll be right there.. IM me or Call me!