(no subject)

[rykengirl2003]

So many people throw love away because all they think is that the possibility with being with the unexpect person that society would be against isn't for them b/c it's not ''right'' as others think, but I think that's just bullsh*t and I just hope you know that you're going to miss out on something that would of been a dream come true relationship. That one relationship felt so pure and perfect that you'll be lookin and won't be findin anything the same as what we had. You keep looking for the perfectioness of a relationship and think that you haven't found that person yet. You get close to someone and become afraid that they aren't the one for you. If you keep doin that you may not find your ''one'' you say is out there b/c all those you dropped could of been the one you've been lookin for. I've never put my wholeself in a relationship till I've met you and I finally knew what love felt like and I don't regret it. I regret allowing the roller coaster emotions keep going and allowing you to have my love that you probably never really respected/appreciate. I gave you my all and if anything I'd give you everything you'd imagine/close to it. I'm moving on with a broken heart and still single tryin to figure out what happened between us and why it ended the way it did. I understand the way you were coming from, but I don't understand how one would give up everything b/c of three reasons. Distance yea sucked, but I would of crossed that off the list for you and me if you'd allowed it. I'd live my life still for myself but working it around you to keep you a part of my life. Age- I don't care the age I love you for who you are and truly it shouldn't matter. Society thoughts, etc- They can just f*ck off with their thoughts because when it comes to love I don't care. We had it and you know it or at least felt something there. If I was just an experiment to you then I should feel used. But, I'd think that wouldn't be the case. I'm just venting in this and don't expect anything or anyone to reply to this.. But, it be nice if you would realize I don't expect any chances of us gettin together again or ever making a relationship start off the way it ended or whatever. I just wish you would understand I didn't want you to competely leave me or just erase yourself from my life. I still and will always love you, but I know what you want and I am moving on and I want the same now if anything. I want a friendship with you and I'm allowing you to make the first move since I don't think you'd ever pick up a phone for me or ever respond to me through an email or however. I gave you all the space in the world for you. I allowed you time and I'm not a child or anything I know that you've been dating and I know that you haven't found anyone yet.. I hear things and I don't want to sound like a child but I'm mature enough to one day pick up a phone and call someone to just show their okay. I just want to know that you're doing alright and that you know that I'm still here for you no matter what. I'm mature to know what did happen was not just an accident.. it was meant to happen and probably the way it ended. Just I'd think God would want us to still have something a friendship at least. We have the same friends through this past summer and I just want to know that we can be friends as we were and still am in my mind. Don't erase me completely/totally away from you life.. please don't. I have no plans on it.. I thank God for putting you in my life and sharing those memories we've made together. I'll cherish our times together and I just want to be able to make more with you as friends. Anyways= if ya ever do read this.. I'd hope you'd think about it.

I'm moving on.. it's ur choice if you want to be a part of my life as I hope you'd make the right choice.. as in the possibly answering "Yes" You just let me know.. This silence has been tearing my insides into pieces and I just want it to stop. Think about it..