Extremities
Extremities | Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
PG | Romance, Angst
People say that there’s no such thing as fair in this world. There are people blessed with good looks but bad temper, strong built but a soft heart, petite body but have great talents, maybe there’s no such thing as fair, but God made sure everyone’s equal. God made sure nobody steps over anyone else. But when people starts to feel unsatisfied, discontented, that’s when inequality starts, and people starts to think it’s unfair. But it already is.
“Why do you think is the earth tilted sideways on its axis?” Kyuhyun asks over breakfast and Ryeowook deliberately stops what he’s doing to stare dumbfounded at his lover. “Are you sure you’re asking me that? Among the both of us you should be the one to know the right answer to that question.” The smaller said, going back to drying the plates he was done washing.
“But I’m not asking for the right answer. I’m asking what your opinion is.” Kyuhyun replied and tried not to snort when Ryeowook grabbed his mug and drank his coffee. Ryeowook doesn’t make his own coffee. He makes a cup for Kyuhyun and him to share. It’s not like he’s complaining. He likes the taste of coffee more when he shares it with Ryeowook.
“I don’t know.” Ryeowook answers, laughing at Kyuhyun pouting at him when he placed his feet on the younger’s lap. “I don’t even know if the earth is really tilted sideways. Maybe that’s just the way it is. Nobody said that oblongs should be angled this way or that way. Who knows, maybe oblong things are actually supposed to be positioned like that? It depends on who looks at it and how they see it.”
Kyuhyun smiles upon hearing his lover’s wit. He loves listening Ryeowook’s words. It’s like it has all the meanings every sane person could possibly give. “Why is the North and South Pole covered with ice, why are there four seasons in our country and in some, only two?”
“Because the world isn’t flat.” Ryeowook just said finishing the cup of coffee and rolling his eyes on the other.
“Why are countries close to the equator called tropical countries?” Kyuhyun asked again and laughed when Ryeowook narrowed his eyes on him. “Just answer it. I’m seriously asking here!”
“It’s not about the equator. I think because they’re close to the center, they are closer to the sun. Remember the earth’s shape being oblate spheroid? The equator is just a mark of where the central line is. The closer the country is to the equator, the closer its surface is to the heat of the sun, thus making their countries tropical and a little impossible to have snow. People often times think that the equator is hot… I thought so too when I was younger, but as I grew up and recalled what I can remember, the hottest part of the earth is its core.”
“I thought so too.” Kyuhyun chuckled, grabbing the cup of coffee from Ryeowook’s side of the table and making a face finding it now empty. “Then why is-ow! Stop pressing your toes on my crotch!”
“Then stop asking me questions you can answer on your own.” Ryeowook stuck his tongue out and giggled when Kyuhyun leaned closer and placed a peck on his lips. “Just one last question.” Kyuhyun whispered, “Why do I love you so much?” The younger continued and seconds later, Ryeowook’s arms are draped over his shoulders, their cheeks pressed together and Ryeowook’s giggles sounding more than the most beautiful melody in his ears.
“Hyung, do you love me more than a prince loves his prince?” Kyuhyun asks that evening and Ryeowook just had to laugh at his lover’s childishness. “Which prince?” He asks and Kyuhyun raises an eyebrow at him. “Princes are usually nameless. But there’s this one prince who loves his princess so much he’s willing to die for him.”
“Aren’t princes in those fairytales always like that?” Ryeowook asks with a yawn as he settles his head on Kyuhyun’s stomach. “But he’s not a usual prince, and it’s not a fairytale.” Kyuhyun smiles before his hand reaches down to comb Ryeowook’s soft locks. “Don’t sleep on me, you sleepyhead.” Kyuhyun whispers which made Ryeowook giggle, the other’s laugh sending smiles to the younger’s lips. “Prince Kyuhyun is the best prince ever. He works his ass off all day just to earn money and buy food for his lovely Princess Ryeowook who loves to eat.” Kyuhyun stops when Ryeowook pinched his abdomen which sent them both laughing on the floor.
“But whenever Prince Kyuhyun asks how much Princess Ryeowook loves him, the princess just rolls his eyes and hugs him.” Kyuhyun continued, locking gazes with the man on top of him. “I love you more than you and I could ever think of, besides you’re the only prince I know that needs to work.” Ryeowook says and Kyuhyun smiled softly as he watches Ryeowook succumb into his beloved sleep.
Kyuhyun thinks about his future with Ryeowook. Their future. And as he look at the man sleeping beside him, he wishes that his lover would fully open up to him. Ryeowook hates the future, but it’s not like he can do something about it. He hates the uncertainty it gives, it makes him feel out of control. Ryeowook doesn’t think of the future but he just accepts what comes and goes, he thinks that in that way he’s still in control.
Kyuhyun is different. He loves thinking about the future, the possibilities and the possibilities of it not being granted. He loves how the future brings a brand new day, a new chance without judgment or prejudice, regardless of what wrong you did in the past. It maybe a product of a wrong choice, a wrong decision, but it doesn’t make us out of control, it gives us another chance to make it right. And he can’t make Ryeowook see that.
Ryeowook hates the future. He hates expectations, maybe because everyone always let him down. Kyuhyun knows that much and he’s thankful that Ryeowook gave him a chance. He’s the only person given a special privilege to screw up big time on Ryeowook, because they both know he’ll be making up to it in the end.
Maybe just in loving Kyuhyun, there are already a lot of things Ryeowook had sacrificed. Maybe half of what he used to believe in, he threw away in order to be with him. Maybe it’s just a small sacrifice for Kyuhyun, but for Ryeowook it’s more than what he can imagine to let go. Maybe it’s half of his life he’s giving away.
“Hyung…” Kyuhyun says from the couch and Ryeowook comes out from the kitchen with a worried gaze. Usually, Kyuhyun would just go on with his endless questions, but now, something’s definitely wrong with the younger. He’s been calling Ryeowook like he has something important to say but backs out at the last minute. “What is it? Come on, I’m listening.” Ryeowook says as he sat down beside Kyuhyun.
“Nothing.” Kyuhyun whispers. “It’s just… I love you, Ryeowook. I love you so much.” He says and hugs the man beside him. “I love you too Kyu, you know that much. It’s alright. Tell me what’s wrong?” The older hugs him back, tighter, but Kyuhyun just shakes his head.
They stayed under a comfortable silence before Kyuhyun started with his questioning. Ryeowook almost heaved a sigh of relief but Kyuhyun’s voice tells him that his lover is far from his normal self. “Ryeowook… what do you think about the future? Your future? My future? Our future?”
Ryeowook looked taken aback for a while, Kyuhyun knows Ryeowook doesn’t like talking about the future, but for him to ask that question again, it must really be something so he tried answering as honest as he could. “I don’t know, Kyu…. I don’t know. It’s too early for us to think about the future… We might end up disappointing ourselves.” Ryeowook whispers against Kyuhyun’s locks but regretted being ever so honest when Kyuhyun started to shake in his hold.
“Hyung, can’t you just say you’re fine with everything as long as you’re with me? As long as we’re together? Hyung can’t I wish for just that?” Kyuhyun said in between his muffled sobs. Ryeowook tried to make him look up but Kyuhyun refused and buried his face more into his chest. “Kyu, come on… why are you acting like this, tell me what’s wrong?” Ryeowook whispers, but Kyuhyun just cried more.
After what seemed like hours, when Kyuhyun finally got a grip of himself, and Ryeowook’s heart stopped hurting, Kyuhyun looked up at him with big sad eyes. “Hyung, my parents want me with them… Hyung… they want me there… but I don’t want to leave.”
Ryeowook’s heart clenched for a bit and he tried hard not to break down in front of Kyuhyun. “W-why not? Why not, Kyuhyun-ah?” He asked with a shaking voice, and tears started strolling down Kyuhyun’s eyes again. He reached up and wiped the younger’s tears not caring about his own.
“Because if it means I’ll be away from you… I don’t want to. I don’t want to leave.” Kyuhyun said stubbornly, again burying his face in Ryeowook’s chest. Kyuhyun cried until he fell asleep and Ryeowook stayed up all night thinking about what might happen, and he hates every bit of it. He hates thinking about things that are yet to happen. He hates jumping into conclusions and disappointing himself in the end. But one thing’s for sure, he can’t imagine his future without Kyuhyun in it. But if being with Kyuhyun means losing his own self, what would that make of him? Will Kyuhyun understand that there are limitations to the sacrifices he can give?
He lost track of the time he fell asleep and when he came into consciousness, panic filled his bloodstream when he found himself alone on the bed. Scrambling out of the bed, he ran towards the living room only to find his lover munching on his cereals while watching a movie.
“Kyu..” He whispered and the younger turned his head to look at him, a smile plastered on his face like nothing over dramatic happened just the night before. “Good morning sleepy head.” Kyuhyun smirked and Ryeowook found himself frowning while heading towards the couch to sit beside the younger.
“What time is it?” He asks, stealing some of Kyuhyun’s cereals. “It’s almost 2 in the afternoon. Come on… I want real food.” The younger whined and Ryeowook guessed that he’s been eating cereals the whole time he’s been awake. “Alright, alright. Why didn’t you wake me up? I’ve never slept that long…”
“You look so cute I suddenly had the heart not to wake you up.” The younger said following Ryeowook to the kitchen, his bowl of cereals already forgotten. They spent their breakfast… or lunch trying to act normal as if nothing happened but they know they are failing.
“So… are you going?” Ryeowook asked and Kyuhyun flinched on his chair. He closed his eyes before sighing. “If I ask you to go with me, will you go?” He asked, voice soft and almost breaking trying to stop his tears from flowing. Continuing when Ryeowook kept silent, it’s one of the things Ryeowook feared the most about the future, figuring out that what you were thinking is right. “You know I can’t choose between you and my family… hyung, please… If you really love me… please…” Kyuhyun begged, but his pleas went unheard when Ryeowook just stared at him.
“The world isn’t flat.” Ryeowook replied; tears flowing slowly down his cheeks. “…and there are countries with only two seasons while ours has four… nevertheless, they are still countries… there are still people, living their lives just like how everyone does. It’s not their fault that their country is hot, it’s not our fault that we’re born in a country like ours, but having to live in a different environment from us doesn’t make them any less of a person, and same as to us.” Ryeowook said and stood up to get himself a cup of coffee. “I love you Kyuhyun-ah, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved you… But I can’t give you what you’re asking of me. I love you, I really do… But that’s all I can give… because that’s everything I have.”
“I wanted to leave… Just to see if you love me enough to come after me. But I am foolish, because I know you never would… Even if I go running right now, I know you never would.” Kyuhyun sobbed, eyes still closed and hands tightening around the cup of coffee in his hands. “Because you have a pride taller than you. Because you prioritize a lot of things more than me, and I hate it. I hate being second to the things I put first.”
“I would never hold you back. I would never run after you. If you want to leave me right now, I won’t block your way. Just go!” Ryeowook screamed, anger and frustration getting the best of him, and Kyuhyun finds himself dragging his feet towards the hallway.
“If loving you would mean losing me, what would that make me, Kyuhyun-ah? I love you more than anything, but what you’re asking is way more than what I have. I won’t come after you, because I trust you… And I never once doubted your love for me, I know you love me enough for you to stay… But if you choose to go, I won’t hold it against you. You know I’ll always be waiting…” Ryeowook wiped away his tears before collecting himself, “I’ll be disappointed, yes. Because I hate being an option to the ones I did prefer. But you know you can always make it up to me. I know you would, because you always did.” Closing his eyes and willing the tangled feelings inside him away, he sighed one last time before drinking the cup of coffee he made for himself. “…But I am giving you ‘til how long it will take you to come back to me…” Ryeowook whispered, trying to control his shaking.
Wiping his tears away, he turned to look at Kyuhyun’s direction with a genuine, pained smile. “I’m not rich like you Kyuhyun-ah, I don’t have the luxury to travel and live in a foreign country just to be with you. You know I can’t keep relying on you forever… You… this… Us… it’s important, very important to me and I don’t want this to be something we will both regret when time comes.” Ryeowook said stepping closer to the guy frozen by the kitchen doors.
“I don’t have the luxury to love just like you do.” He said as he reached Kyuhyun, hugging the younger from the back. “But I’m loving you with all that I have, with all that I can give. I’m not coming after you, I won’t hold you back… Because I know you’ll be the one coming back to me, and all I can do is wait… Wait ‘til you come back to me finally. You know I’ll always be waiting… Because I can’t imagine my future without you in it.”
“Hyung… I’m sorry, but I don’t want to go… I don’t want to leave.” Kyuhyun turned around and hugged Ryeowook back, breaking down into a sobbing mess on the floor. With a smile on his face and a feeling that he would never regret, he placed a soft kiss on the younger’s forehead. “Then don’t.” Ryeowook whispered. “Don’t leave me…”
You may think you have given too much, maybe you think it’s too little, but when it comes to love it is not about how little or how big, it’s about how much you have and how much of it you are willing to give. Because life isn’t fair. Hearts aren’t of the same sizes, loves aren’t of the same degree, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
“Hyung, why does the sun shine so bright?” Kyuhyun asks one sunny afternoon while eating watermelons, his eyebrow rose, and lips curved into an almost challenging smirk. Ryeowook smirks back and takes a bite from the slice of watermelon in Kyuhyun’s hands. “Maybe to let people see the things that is hard to be seen. Maybe to let people feel it’s warmth when they’re feeling so cold. Maybe just to let us know that it’s there.”
“I like it. How the sun shines brightly for everybody. It’s just that, the world isn’t flat. And the heat and light of the sun doesn’t reach everyone in the same degree.” Kyuhyun smiled, letting the brightness of the sun blind his eyes for what seems like seconds before Ryeowook blocked his view of the blinding light. “Why are you always eating my food? Not that I’m complaining though, just curious.” Kyuhyun smiled again, taking a bite on the watermelon Ryeowook nibbled just a while ago and finding it sweeter than it originally was. “Because it was never just you, never just me. It has always been the two of us. The world seems fairer that way. Though it never really was.”
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Either someone wants to be with you or they don't.
there is no in-between
a/n:
i think this fic is really really messed up O_O
it's not my favorite and it probably won't ever be but i really really like it. hehehe maybe because of my weird thinking?
and oh, the thingees about the earth and the seasons... well it's not that i just made that up, but i don't think it's a fact either. I didn't research about that and i am no expert in that field... that's just how my mind thinks it is =____= forgive me.
maybe i came up with this fic because of consecutive days without sleep then sleeping like a log for the next few days.
i blame yukwol and wind_drifter tho. i think i'll offer a new fic to bribe kyulyn into writing again because i just flunked this one XD
oh, and yeah, im back!
hi all! im not Rin okay. bye~
PG | Romance, Angst
People say that there’s no such thing as fair in this world. There are people blessed with good looks but bad temper, strong built but a soft heart, petite body but have great talents, maybe there’s no such thing as fair, but God made sure everyone’s equal. God made sure nobody steps over anyone else. But when people starts to feel unsatisfied, discontented, that’s when inequality starts, and people starts to think it’s unfair. But it already is.
“Why do you think is the earth tilted sideways on its axis?” Kyuhyun asks over breakfast and Ryeowook deliberately stops what he’s doing to stare dumbfounded at his lover. “Are you sure you’re asking me that? Among the both of us you should be the one to know the right answer to that question.” The smaller said, going back to drying the plates he was done washing.
“But I’m not asking for the right answer. I’m asking what your opinion is.” Kyuhyun replied and tried not to snort when Ryeowook grabbed his mug and drank his coffee. Ryeowook doesn’t make his own coffee. He makes a cup for Kyuhyun and him to share. It’s not like he’s complaining. He likes the taste of coffee more when he shares it with Ryeowook.
“I don’t know.” Ryeowook answers, laughing at Kyuhyun pouting at him when he placed his feet on the younger’s lap. “I don’t even know if the earth is really tilted sideways. Maybe that’s just the way it is. Nobody said that oblongs should be angled this way or that way. Who knows, maybe oblong things are actually supposed to be positioned like that? It depends on who looks at it and how they see it.”
Kyuhyun smiles upon hearing his lover’s wit. He loves listening Ryeowook’s words. It’s like it has all the meanings every sane person could possibly give. “Why is the North and South Pole covered with ice, why are there four seasons in our country and in some, only two?”
“Because the world isn’t flat.” Ryeowook just said finishing the cup of coffee and rolling his eyes on the other.
“Why are countries close to the equator called tropical countries?” Kyuhyun asked again and laughed when Ryeowook narrowed his eyes on him. “Just answer it. I’m seriously asking here!”
“It’s not about the equator. I think because they’re close to the center, they are closer to the sun. Remember the earth’s shape being oblate spheroid? The equator is just a mark of where the central line is. The closer the country is to the equator, the closer its surface is to the heat of the sun, thus making their countries tropical and a little impossible to have snow. People often times think that the equator is hot… I thought so too when I was younger, but as I grew up and recalled what I can remember, the hottest part of the earth is its core.”
“I thought so too.” Kyuhyun chuckled, grabbing the cup of coffee from Ryeowook’s side of the table and making a face finding it now empty. “Then why is-ow! Stop pressing your toes on my crotch!”
“Then stop asking me questions you can answer on your own.” Ryeowook stuck his tongue out and giggled when Kyuhyun leaned closer and placed a peck on his lips. “Just one last question.” Kyuhyun whispered, “Why do I love you so much?” The younger continued and seconds later, Ryeowook’s arms are draped over his shoulders, their cheeks pressed together and Ryeowook’s giggles sounding more than the most beautiful melody in his ears.
“Hyung, do you love me more than a prince loves his prince?” Kyuhyun asks that evening and Ryeowook just had to laugh at his lover’s childishness. “Which prince?” He asks and Kyuhyun raises an eyebrow at him. “Princes are usually nameless. But there’s this one prince who loves his princess so much he’s willing to die for him.”
“Aren’t princes in those fairytales always like that?” Ryeowook asks with a yawn as he settles his head on Kyuhyun’s stomach. “But he’s not a usual prince, and it’s not a fairytale.” Kyuhyun smiles before his hand reaches down to comb Ryeowook’s soft locks. “Don’t sleep on me, you sleepyhead.” Kyuhyun whispers which made Ryeowook giggle, the other’s laugh sending smiles to the younger’s lips. “Prince Kyuhyun is the best prince ever. He works his ass off all day just to earn money and buy food for his lovely Princess Ryeowook who loves to eat.” Kyuhyun stops when Ryeowook pinched his abdomen which sent them both laughing on the floor.
“But whenever Prince Kyuhyun asks how much Princess Ryeowook loves him, the princess just rolls his eyes and hugs him.” Kyuhyun continued, locking gazes with the man on top of him. “I love you more than you and I could ever think of, besides you’re the only prince I know that needs to work.” Ryeowook says and Kyuhyun smiled softly as he watches Ryeowook succumb into his beloved sleep.
Kyuhyun thinks about his future with Ryeowook. Their future. And as he look at the man sleeping beside him, he wishes that his lover would fully open up to him. Ryeowook hates the future, but it’s not like he can do something about it. He hates the uncertainty it gives, it makes him feel out of control. Ryeowook doesn’t think of the future but he just accepts what comes and goes, he thinks that in that way he’s still in control.
Kyuhyun is different. He loves thinking about the future, the possibilities and the possibilities of it not being granted. He loves how the future brings a brand new day, a new chance without judgment or prejudice, regardless of what wrong you did in the past. It maybe a product of a wrong choice, a wrong decision, but it doesn’t make us out of control, it gives us another chance to make it right. And he can’t make Ryeowook see that.
Ryeowook hates the future. He hates expectations, maybe because everyone always let him down. Kyuhyun knows that much and he’s thankful that Ryeowook gave him a chance. He’s the only person given a special privilege to screw up big time on Ryeowook, because they both know he’ll be making up to it in the end.
Maybe just in loving Kyuhyun, there are already a lot of things Ryeowook had sacrificed. Maybe half of what he used to believe in, he threw away in order to be with him. Maybe it’s just a small sacrifice for Kyuhyun, but for Ryeowook it’s more than what he can imagine to let go. Maybe it’s half of his life he’s giving away.
“Hyung…” Kyuhyun says from the couch and Ryeowook comes out from the kitchen with a worried gaze. Usually, Kyuhyun would just go on with his endless questions, but now, something’s definitely wrong with the younger. He’s been calling Ryeowook like he has something important to say but backs out at the last minute. “What is it? Come on, I’m listening.” Ryeowook says as he sat down beside Kyuhyun.
“Nothing.” Kyuhyun whispers. “It’s just… I love you, Ryeowook. I love you so much.” He says and hugs the man beside him. “I love you too Kyu, you know that much. It’s alright. Tell me what’s wrong?” The older hugs him back, tighter, but Kyuhyun just shakes his head.
They stayed under a comfortable silence before Kyuhyun started with his questioning. Ryeowook almost heaved a sigh of relief but Kyuhyun’s voice tells him that his lover is far from his normal self. “Ryeowook… what do you think about the future? Your future? My future? Our future?”
Ryeowook looked taken aback for a while, Kyuhyun knows Ryeowook doesn’t like talking about the future, but for him to ask that question again, it must really be something so he tried answering as honest as he could. “I don’t know, Kyu…. I don’t know. It’s too early for us to think about the future… We might end up disappointing ourselves.” Ryeowook whispers against Kyuhyun’s locks but regretted being ever so honest when Kyuhyun started to shake in his hold.
“Hyung, can’t you just say you’re fine with everything as long as you’re with me? As long as we’re together? Hyung can’t I wish for just that?” Kyuhyun said in between his muffled sobs. Ryeowook tried to make him look up but Kyuhyun refused and buried his face more into his chest. “Kyu, come on… why are you acting like this, tell me what’s wrong?” Ryeowook whispers, but Kyuhyun just cried more.
After what seemed like hours, when Kyuhyun finally got a grip of himself, and Ryeowook’s heart stopped hurting, Kyuhyun looked up at him with big sad eyes. “Hyung, my parents want me with them… Hyung… they want me there… but I don’t want to leave.”
Ryeowook’s heart clenched for a bit and he tried hard not to break down in front of Kyuhyun. “W-why not? Why not, Kyuhyun-ah?” He asked with a shaking voice, and tears started strolling down Kyuhyun’s eyes again. He reached up and wiped the younger’s tears not caring about his own.
“Because if it means I’ll be away from you… I don’t want to. I don’t want to leave.” Kyuhyun said stubbornly, again burying his face in Ryeowook’s chest. Kyuhyun cried until he fell asleep and Ryeowook stayed up all night thinking about what might happen, and he hates every bit of it. He hates thinking about things that are yet to happen. He hates jumping into conclusions and disappointing himself in the end. But one thing’s for sure, he can’t imagine his future without Kyuhyun in it. But if being with Kyuhyun means losing his own self, what would that make of him? Will Kyuhyun understand that there are limitations to the sacrifices he can give?
He lost track of the time he fell asleep and when he came into consciousness, panic filled his bloodstream when he found himself alone on the bed. Scrambling out of the bed, he ran towards the living room only to find his lover munching on his cereals while watching a movie.
“Kyu..” He whispered and the younger turned his head to look at him, a smile plastered on his face like nothing over dramatic happened just the night before. “Good morning sleepy head.” Kyuhyun smirked and Ryeowook found himself frowning while heading towards the couch to sit beside the younger.
“What time is it?” He asks, stealing some of Kyuhyun’s cereals. “It’s almost 2 in the afternoon. Come on… I want real food.” The younger whined and Ryeowook guessed that he’s been eating cereals the whole time he’s been awake. “Alright, alright. Why didn’t you wake me up? I’ve never slept that long…”
“You look so cute I suddenly had the heart not to wake you up.” The younger said following Ryeowook to the kitchen, his bowl of cereals already forgotten. They spent their breakfast… or lunch trying to act normal as if nothing happened but they know they are failing.
“So… are you going?” Ryeowook asked and Kyuhyun flinched on his chair. He closed his eyes before sighing. “If I ask you to go with me, will you go?” He asked, voice soft and almost breaking trying to stop his tears from flowing. Continuing when Ryeowook kept silent, it’s one of the things Ryeowook feared the most about the future, figuring out that what you were thinking is right. “You know I can’t choose between you and my family… hyung, please… If you really love me… please…” Kyuhyun begged, but his pleas went unheard when Ryeowook just stared at him.
“The world isn’t flat.” Ryeowook replied; tears flowing slowly down his cheeks. “…and there are countries with only two seasons while ours has four… nevertheless, they are still countries… there are still people, living their lives just like how everyone does. It’s not their fault that their country is hot, it’s not our fault that we’re born in a country like ours, but having to live in a different environment from us doesn’t make them any less of a person, and same as to us.” Ryeowook said and stood up to get himself a cup of coffee. “I love you Kyuhyun-ah, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved you… But I can’t give you what you’re asking of me. I love you, I really do… But that’s all I can give… because that’s everything I have.”
“I wanted to leave… Just to see if you love me enough to come after me. But I am foolish, because I know you never would… Even if I go running right now, I know you never would.” Kyuhyun sobbed, eyes still closed and hands tightening around the cup of coffee in his hands. “Because you have a pride taller than you. Because you prioritize a lot of things more than me, and I hate it. I hate being second to the things I put first.”
“I would never hold you back. I would never run after you. If you want to leave me right now, I won’t block your way. Just go!” Ryeowook screamed, anger and frustration getting the best of him, and Kyuhyun finds himself dragging his feet towards the hallway.
“If loving you would mean losing me, what would that make me, Kyuhyun-ah? I love you more than anything, but what you’re asking is way more than what I have. I won’t come after you, because I trust you… And I never once doubted your love for me, I know you love me enough for you to stay… But if you choose to go, I won’t hold it against you. You know I’ll always be waiting…” Ryeowook wiped away his tears before collecting himself, “I’ll be disappointed, yes. Because I hate being an option to the ones I did prefer. But you know you can always make it up to me. I know you would, because you always did.” Closing his eyes and willing the tangled feelings inside him away, he sighed one last time before drinking the cup of coffee he made for himself. “…But I am giving you ‘til how long it will take you to come back to me…” Ryeowook whispered, trying to control his shaking.
Wiping his tears away, he turned to look at Kyuhyun’s direction with a genuine, pained smile. “I’m not rich like you Kyuhyun-ah, I don’t have the luxury to travel and live in a foreign country just to be with you. You know I can’t keep relying on you forever… You… this… Us… it’s important, very important to me and I don’t want this to be something we will both regret when time comes.” Ryeowook said stepping closer to the guy frozen by the kitchen doors.
“I don’t have the luxury to love just like you do.” He said as he reached Kyuhyun, hugging the younger from the back. “But I’m loving you with all that I have, with all that I can give. I’m not coming after you, I won’t hold you back… Because I know you’ll be the one coming back to me, and all I can do is wait… Wait ‘til you come back to me finally. You know I’ll always be waiting… Because I can’t imagine my future without you in it.”
“Hyung… I’m sorry, but I don’t want to go… I don’t want to leave.” Kyuhyun turned around and hugged Ryeowook back, breaking down into a sobbing mess on the floor. With a smile on his face and a feeling that he would never regret, he placed a soft kiss on the younger’s forehead. “Then don’t.” Ryeowook whispered. “Don’t leave me…”
You may think you have given too much, maybe you think it’s too little, but when it comes to love it is not about how little or how big, it’s about how much you have and how much of it you are willing to give. Because life isn’t fair. Hearts aren’t of the same sizes, loves aren’t of the same degree, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
“Hyung, why does the sun shine so bright?” Kyuhyun asks one sunny afternoon while eating watermelons, his eyebrow rose, and lips curved into an almost challenging smirk. Ryeowook smirks back and takes a bite from the slice of watermelon in Kyuhyun’s hands. “Maybe to let people see the things that is hard to be seen. Maybe to let people feel it’s warmth when they’re feeling so cold. Maybe just to let us know that it’s there.”
“I like it. How the sun shines brightly for everybody. It’s just that, the world isn’t flat. And the heat and light of the sun doesn’t reach everyone in the same degree.” Kyuhyun smiled, letting the brightness of the sun blind his eyes for what seems like seconds before Ryeowook blocked his view of the blinding light. “Why are you always eating my food? Not that I’m complaining though, just curious.” Kyuhyun smiled again, taking a bite on the watermelon Ryeowook nibbled just a while ago and finding it sweeter than it originally was. “Because it was never just you, never just me. It has always been the two of us. The world seems fairer that way. Though it never really was.”
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Either someone wants to be with you or they don't.
there is no in-between
a/n:
i think this fic is really really messed up O_O
it's not my favorite and it probably won't ever be but i really really like it. hehehe maybe because of my weird thinking?
and oh, the thingees about the earth and the seasons... well it's not that i just made that up, but i don't think it's a fact either. I didn't research about that and i am no expert in that field... that's just how my mind thinks it is =____= forgive me.
maybe i came up with this fic because of consecutive days without sleep then sleeping like a log for the next few days.
i blame yukwol and wind_drifter tho. i think i'll offer a new fic to bribe kyulyn into writing again because i just flunked this one XD
oh, and yeah, im back!
hi all! im not Rin okay. bye~