Parks Fic: Not That Sneaky (6/7)
Title: Not That Sneaky
Pairing: Ben/Leslie, ensemble
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Originally posted on the kinkmeme: 5 times Ben and Leslie get caught/interrupted during sex.
Part Five
"Okay," says Leslie, opening her padfolio and ignoring the disinterested looks of everyone around her. "This meeting is going to be very brief."
"You have ten things on this agenda, Leslie. That's the opposite of brief."
"I cut it down from nineteen, Tom. That’s practically bare bones." Leslie pulls out a stack of papers and leafs through them distractedly, cursing under her breath. "Did anyone print out the list of vendors from last year's Harvest Festival?"
"No." Tom swivels his chair and taps his pen against his knee. "I guess that means we can cross off item one."
Leslie bites her lip, glances to the agenda and then her phone, and lets out a painful whine. "Nooo," she says, but she sounds more like she's trying to convince herself than the rest of them. "I'll just run in and print it off real quick."
"No, Leslie, come on!"
Ignoring the groans from her coworkers, Leslie rushes out of the room toward her office. "You just had to remind her about this meeting, Jerry," says Tom with an accusatory glare. "She was all ready to walk out of here, and you had to open your big mouth."
"I was just trying to help."
"It's lady's night at the Snakehole Lounge. I have hours of prep work ahead of me. Did you ever think of that?"
The phone in the conference room rings, and they all glance at it and then each other before Tom tentatively reaches out and answers the call. "Hello?"
"Tom!" Leslie's voice rings out clearly through the speakerphone, and Donna shakes her head as Tom rolls his eyes. "Can you do me a favor? Look in my padfolio and see if the schedule for fall rec center classes is in there."
"Why don't you just come in here and do it yourself, Leslie?"
"Efficiency! I mean, we all want to get out of here, right?"
This comment earns the phone various looks of disbelief, even from Andy, who up until now has spent the whole meeting doodling on his agenda. "Leslie?" he asks uncertainly.
"What? Am I the only one who enjoys a little down time now? Just look in the damn...Crap. Hang on a second, guys. I'll be right back."
The sharp tone of Leslie hitting a button on the phone rings through the room, and Donna sighs. "What is going on with that girl today?"
"She's finally lost it," offers Tom. "We all knew it was just a matter of time. I always said--"
"Whoa, hang on," Donna says, throwing a hand over Tom's mouth to shut him up. "Do you guys hear that?"
They quiet, and within a few seconds it's clear that Leslie hasn't actually put them on hold. It's also clear that she's no longer talking to them, even if they can still hear her.
"You are punctual," Leslie says, and Tom swivels in his chair to catch a glimpse of Leslie talking on her cell phone. "Seriously?" he asks, and Donna shushes him.
"Is this a bad time?" Donna's eyes widen at the sound of Ben's voice, her delight at this turn of events obvious. Jerry, on the other hand, actually winces. "I know we said six, but it's so early..."
"It's not a bad time. Why would it be a bad time? We said six and it's six and so now is the perfect time, right?"
"Okay...If you're sure."
"Sure I'm sure. Let's do this."
"'Do this?'" echoes Donna softly. "Damn, is she really going there? At work?"
Jerry sighs, rubbing a weary hand across his forehead. "Maybe we should hang up."
"Maybe you should shut up. Don't you dare touch that phone, Jerry."
"I'm just saying, they're probably not even--"
"Okay, so are you touching yourself?" Leslie asks bluntly. Her interruption causes Jerry to actually bury his head in his hands, leaving the others to gawk at the phone.
"Girl does not mess around," says Donna, and Tom nods.
"Wow," says Ben. "We are jumping right in tonight. Okay then."
"Well you have that cocktail party at eight, right? Did that get cancelled? Ooh, Ben, did it get cancelled?"
"No, no, you're right. I guess I'm just..." Ben clears his throat. "I had a dream about you last night."
"Really? I dreamed about you too. We were in a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof and Li'l Sebastian was playing Tevye--"
"No, Leslie...I'm talking about a sex dream--"
"So am I! We ended up having sex on the stage, and my high school nemesis Stan Kiebler was there writing a piece for the school newspaper and we really needed a good review, so you did that thing with your tongue...Anyway, it all ended up being a moot point because he criticized Li'l Sebastian's performance and was run out of town."
What the hell? Tom mouths, throwing his hands in the air and giving Donna an incredulous look.
"Okay," says Ben, to his credit hardly sounding disturbed about the amount of crazy going on in Leslie's subconscious. "What exactly was I doing with my tongue?"
"You know." Donna looks over to where Leslie leans back in her chair, grinning and absentmindedly twirling a piece of hair around her finger. It's beyond obvious that Leslie couldn't be any more over the moon for that boy. And, from the sounds of it, vice versa. "For the record, the audience applauded."
"And you?"
"Ben, come on. You know no one is a bigger fan of your tongue fucking me than I am."
Ben lets out a shuddering breath. "Debatable."
"No way."
"I'd say, Leslie, that I'm a pretty big fan of it, too. God, I'd give anything to be there right now with my face buried between your legs. Are you wet, honey? Are you touching yourself?"
"Mmm-hmm," Leslie purrs. Andy turns to look, and Donna smacks him despite the fact that Leslie is not actually masturbating in her office. "What about you, baby? Are you hard? Are you imagining being inside of me? Fucking my tight--"
"What is going on here?" Ron interrupts. He stands in the doorway with his arms crossed, eyeing his coworkers despite the breathy voices still emanating from the phone, and ignoring the near silent groans and gestures that beg him to shut up. Only Jerry looks relieved, lifting his head and immediately spilling the beans.
"Ron, Leslie's on the speakerphone, and I don't think she realizes...Well..." Jerry nods toward the phone from which Leslie is now describing how Ben's cock feels inside of her in great detail.
"It's getting good," says Donna. Ron grunts and leaves the room, crossing through the department to Leslie's office. They all watch as he knocks on the door and listen as Leslie sighs loudly. "Hand on a sec," she says in a more normal tone of voice. "Ron needs something."
"Ron...?" asks Ben, clearly bewildered. "Leslie, are you still at work?"
Leslie doesn't answer, but waves Ron inside. Donna has to resist the urge to move closer and see this in detail. "Leslie."
"Ron, I know everyone's getting impatient. I'll be out in just a minute."
"Knope, are you aware that you're still on the conference phone?"
"What? No...That's imposs--" Leslie glances at her desk phone and her eyes widen and snap up to look over at the conference room. Everyone stares at her, varying degrees of amusement, intrigue and disgust in their eyes. Donna is grinning, and she flashes Leslie a double thumbs up. "Oooh...god..." Leslie moans and drops her head to her palm.
"Not that it's any of my business, but you might want to hang that up."
"Gee, thanks, Ron." Leslie ends the conference call and everyone but Jerry lets out an audible groan.
"That was...disturbing," says Tom. "And weirdly hot. Who knew those two nerds had it in them."
"Hey, those two are wound so tightly they have to release that tension somehow. I just can't believe Leslie did that at work. She must be missing Ben real bad."
"Yeah," says Andy, who has gone back to drawing. "He was supposed to come home with April last weekend and then he couldn't. Leslie was bummed. April said Ben was pretty depressed, too."
"That's why I never do long distance," says Donna, but she shoots a sympathetic glance at Leslie. She's still on the phone, but from the look of it, things have taken a more serious tone. "Maybe we should take her out tonight."
"Ooh, we could go to Jurassic Fork. I have a coupon!"
"Wrong, Jerry. If we're going anywhere it's the Snakehole Lounge. Or possibly The Glitter Factory."
"No," says Andy, standing up and holding one finger in the air. "I have an idea."
Epilogue