Life Fucking Blows.
As many of you might or might not know my g/f Brianna and I are not together anymore. After 7 years she dumped me. Immediately after she attained a new b/f, his name is Butch. We still live together yet not in the same room. She's rarely here anymore and usually stays the night at her b/fs house. She moved all her things outside of my room into the closet out here and we rarely even open that closet..so it really feels like she's not here anymore.
After cleaning my room and going through all our things it really feels like a divorce. It's tearing me apart and among other things that I've learned recently that I cannot mention. It's like can she hurt me anymore than I am now? She's practically went through all the steps. In these circumstances I'm depressed all the time, can't sleep, constantly having dreams about her, waking up in the middle of the night. To top it all off its the end of the semester and all the huge projects are going to be due soon and thats not all but FINALS!!!!
Feeling this way doesn't make matters better. You still love this person even after the hell they're putting you through, and she's so selfish right now. I honestly think she's oblivious of her actions or maybe not? I'm still willing to be a friend and that's the hardest part. I told her I'll always be there for her no matter what.
I'm not trying to be ignorant about the situation either, I've been trying to think how she'd feel about things and yet I don't know how she can do all the things she's done only in 3 weeks after a 7 year relationship. I've been trying to talk to people but I know in my heart that this wrenching feeling won't go away anytime soon. The last thing I need is a rebound girl, that isn't fair to ANYONE. I've kept my options open and I'm not going aggressively into any relationship because I honestly don't want one but at the same time if someone approaches me I might possibly give them a chance later on. I haven't done anything rash, and something I would regret.
I can go into long detail about how she hurt me but I know no one wants to hear that long drawn-out story but if you do~! I'm always available over AIM, Yahoo, Myspace, Livejournal, and phone.
A lot of people have been a huge support and I can't thank them enough. I need a vacation, a real vacation..away from this place.
After it all..in three weeks this is what I have done to keep my mind off it and to make myself into a more defined interesting person:
Joined Martial Arts Center
Trying Dancing Classes
Interested/practicing BBboying
Read 8 books
Waiting to do Ballroom dancing classes
Becoming a manager at my current job
Getting a vehicle
Cosplay
Definately more into school
Drawing all the time
Trying to become more social with my family
Going out more often/becoming open to try more things
Checked into a depression clinic
Reading manga/watching anime more often.
After cleaning my room and going through all our things it really feels like a divorce. It's tearing me apart and among other things that I've learned recently that I cannot mention. It's like can she hurt me anymore than I am now? She's practically went through all the steps. In these circumstances I'm depressed all the time, can't sleep, constantly having dreams about her, waking up in the middle of the night. To top it all off its the end of the semester and all the huge projects are going to be due soon and thats not all but FINALS!!!!
Feeling this way doesn't make matters better. You still love this person even after the hell they're putting you through, and she's so selfish right now. I honestly think she's oblivious of her actions or maybe not? I'm still willing to be a friend and that's the hardest part. I told her I'll always be there for her no matter what.
I'm not trying to be ignorant about the situation either, I've been trying to think how she'd feel about things and yet I don't know how she can do all the things she's done only in 3 weeks after a 7 year relationship. I've been trying to talk to people but I know in my heart that this wrenching feeling won't go away anytime soon. The last thing I need is a rebound girl, that isn't fair to ANYONE. I've kept my options open and I'm not going aggressively into any relationship because I honestly don't want one but at the same time if someone approaches me I might possibly give them a chance later on. I haven't done anything rash, and something I would regret.
I can go into long detail about how she hurt me but I know no one wants to hear that long drawn-out story but if you do~! I'm always available over AIM, Yahoo, Myspace, Livejournal, and phone.
A lot of people have been a huge support and I can't thank them enough. I need a vacation, a real vacation..away from this place.
After it all..in three weeks this is what I have done to keep my mind off it and to make myself into a more defined interesting person:
Joined Martial Arts Center
Trying Dancing Classes
Interested/practicing BBboying
Read 8 books
Waiting to do Ballroom dancing classes
Becoming a manager at my current job
Getting a vehicle
Cosplay
Definately more into school
Drawing all the time
Trying to become more social with my family
Going out more often/becoming open to try more things
Checked into a depression clinic
Reading manga/watching anime more often.