(no subject)
I love Colleen with all of my heart... sometimes it may not seem that way but I do. This morning I saw Leanore in the mall... im pretty sure she saw me for a brief second too... I quickly walked out to the parking lot, my heart beating about 500 beats per minute, continued to the car and had a cigartette when i quit this morning, and cried... I sat in the parking lot, shaking and crying for a good five minutes... like I said, I love Colleen with all of my heart, but their is still a part of me that misses her and maybe even loves her. I think I need counseling again... I find myself going down a path that I dont want to travel again... I feel like a fucking loser going downhill in a ball heading towards a mud pit at the bottom... only when I hit the bottom, it isnt a mud pit... its quick sand... im fucked...