Dont let someone become a priority who makes you an option.
So it's Tuesday morning, pretty early, and I have decided to skip my classes today. I am sure I shall be rebuked by Tracy and Dacia, but I'm exhausted, and I don't wanna... so Imma brush my shoulders off.
This past weekend, Student Venture had it's Savor Retreat. It was the first real grown up thing I've had to do, like big time-wise. We had to contact the place, set up prices, make registration forms, all that stuff that you are just kinda handed, we had to do the handing. It was probably good for me. So Friday night, I got three hours of sleep due to practicing with the band, packing for myself and the band, and finishing some of the last minute touches that needed to be made. Then we drove all over the place picking up kids, trading cars, and FINALLY arriving at Fruitland Park, Florida. When we got there, the entire place was invaded by Mexicans and a few Canadians, but mostly the Muchachos. Matt and I decided it would be funny to mess with the students so we told them that the place had messed up the reservations, and we kept up such a serious attitude about it, that they totally bought it and it made me happy :) 10 minutes later or so we got them, got punched, and got an incredible feeling of satisfaction.
The weekend was crazy. Kids used water balloons, shaving cream, cheetos, and sticks to prank one another and retolin was unfortunatly not on hand. However, God did do some amazing things. The worship team played some amazing sets. It wasn't that we were anything special. We've played these songs before, and it was normal. However, this weekend, God really decided to be ushered in through songs of praise. The girls (Ashley and Ruth) did a really good job with setting up different stations to meet Jesus in creative ways, and I think that it was put their hearts in the right place. Students were looking at the scene, with artwork of what Jesus means to each students, candles lit in gratitude of His love, and a wooden cross, filled with the confessions of young souls giving these things up the their Lord, and it was too much. They broke down and cried. Then as the music played and that feeling of life that ONLY Jesus can put in you swept the room and I looked out and was joined with hands raised, eyes closed and smiles that literally could not be contained. It was the way life was designed to be lived.
My friend Matt spoke, and while he did an awesome job speaking to exactly what they needed to hear, I was more impressed with his relational skills. He pretty much made 50 new friends in an hour. He was comfortable and funny around them (all traits I desire to have) and was able to connect with them not because of what he said, but because of the attitude he had towards them. He is a good man.
Finally, I got home and slept...and slept.. and slept some more. And I'm tired. Monday was back to the grind of Student Venture. I was at the office all day working on stuff, trying to balance between working with, and not wanting to beat up good ole Ashley, and Im sure she felt the same way. We have tons of fun together serving but we def have our moments of frusteration. The meeting came around and it was not our most smooth of meetings. First off, we didn't pray. That will never happen again. Secondly, we packed in ALOT into the meeting and everything was rushed. The speaker was cool, I guess. I didn't really like him though. He had some good points, but I feel like he told alot of stupid stories and didn't really focus on Jesus. No kids gave their lives to Christ, but like I said before, I would blame that more on our lack of prayer then the speaker. After I finished cleaning up the place, I went home and got to talk to a student that I've had a falling out with. She is very important to me and I care about her alot, but because I know that she needs Jesus, she has begun to feel like I only talk to her to get her to come to our meetings or prayer.
Why do we as Christians feel like we have to get people to agree with us? Do they validate us in some way or make us more confident? I don't need a freshman girl to validate me. Why do we drive a herd of cattle, rather than lead a sheep to the green pastures? We, I included, come to people with our agendas to convert, conform, and confuse people with our beliefs, and Jesus only told us to LOVE people, and He trusted that His love was powerful enough to turn them into disciples of His. I apologize to all that I do that too, and repent to Jesus about coming to people with my agendas, and not my love. This is what I am learning, teaching, preaching, and hopefully with the grace of God, living now.
On a personal note, frusterations still arise. If this were a real journal that other people couldn't read, I would go more into detail, but for now, I will leave the topic with this nugget of wisdom from Isaac. Life is waiting. It's really a play on words, and I don't think he meant it to be. Life is waiting, your life is going to be you waiting for appointments, for love, for growth, for answered prayers, for green lights, ect ect ect. Life is waiting. Then you can take it as, Life is waiting. LIFE! Go get it! It's LIFE and it is waiting for you to begin it. There is an ancient Jewish proverb by a Jewish high priest named Hillel that says, "If not today, when?" If you aren't going to make a decision, jump in with your head under water, and you aren't going to do it today, then WHEN will you? I agree with Isaac when he says, "Take as long as you need but not a second longer" but how often do we hide behind the shrowd of "later" when later is the least promised thing to us. I want to wait and love someone who could become my wife, and give her the time she needs to love me equally, but do I hide behind that because it's safe and I don't have to do anything outwardly for the moment? These are my thoughts. And I would encourage you all to think about this. If not today, when? Do you love someone? Whether they know it or not, why not tell them today. Do you need to apologize to someone, but youre waiting for anger to subside or things to "smooth over." What happens when that person is taken away from you and you never get the opportunity. Me and Ashley saw a man flip his car and get flown through the windshield just a few weeks ago. Do you think that man had some unfinished business? Probably. I am being hypocrital, of course, because the people that I need to let know matter to me the most, I most likely won't. And the people that should matter the most to me, don't. They matter, yeah. But not the way they should. And even that is through the power of our Lord.
Lastly, I know that only a few people read this, but in spirit of what I'm writing about, I guess I should let you know my heart towards you. So here goes.
Becka - You are one of my best friends. You are wise, almost underrated wise (not in an insulting way, just that you are far wiser than I believe most people realize) and you are very in tune with the real person of Jesus. I understand your frusterations at times, even though I choose to play dumb to them, about how people are, how Jeremy can be, and how I can be towards people. You are sincerely a joy to be around and can make fun with the best of them. You are a friend. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would like you to know that you are appreciated.
Rachel - Our relationship is two part. First off, it very much jumps between best friends to best enemies over the course of a meal. That is how we are and that is half the fun of being friends with you. However, secondly, I realize that our friendship is constant. No matter what you were to do, or I were to do, I know that we would be friends in the morning. Whether it's a missed hug opportunity of bad sportsmanship in Mario Kart, it would phase away due to respect and admiration for one another. I know youre frusterations with the girls, and the people that you are with, but you are a leader. The people that God places in your life do not change the gifts of leadership that God has given you. You are a leader because you are a servant, who knows the Lord and is willing to set your life around that. Your sheep will come, they may be part of the enemy still, or maybe in the wrong field, but they will find you and you will lead them to a deep and real relationship with Jesus. Let prayer be your leadership tool for now. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would like you to know that you are respected.
Sterling - I have told lots of people this, and hopefully you at one time or another, but it bears repeating. I know very few, if any, more genuinely more caring guys than you. You are the only person that will call me just to see how Im doing. You have never given me any drama, you have never taken to heart any wrong doing I may have caused you, and you have ALWAYS always been a good friend. You love the Lord first, Rachel second, the people in your life third, and yourself fourth, and it is 100% transparent in the way you live your life. I know that you have frusterations and pains in your life with your dad, but you hide yourself so deeply in the arms of Jesus that it very rarely affects the way you are with people at all. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would want you to know that you are a role model.
Ashley - I don't know how you and I are where we are. Logically, with all the times that you have annoyed me, or I have made you mad, we should have had a fall out and never talked to eachother again. Yet, as a girl, you are probably my best friend. Your heart for the students is awe-inspiring. To see your heart BREAK for people that treat you badly at times, not because of the mean things they may do, but because of the fact that they are losing sight of Jesus, is at times, more inspiration than I know what to do with. You are an AMAZING leader, whom I respect and have learned from, and you push me to be the leader that God has called me to be. I know your frusterations with it being hard to trust people, and that the devil plays evil games with you and your struggles, but you, above any other person in my life, are a blessing, because you FIGHT Satan back. You taken very few things seriously (signs of living in the freedom of Jesus) yet when you go into battle, there is noone I would rather have by my side. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would want you to know that you are loved.
This past weekend, Student Venture had it's Savor Retreat. It was the first real grown up thing I've had to do, like big time-wise. We had to contact the place, set up prices, make registration forms, all that stuff that you are just kinda handed, we had to do the handing. It was probably good for me. So Friday night, I got three hours of sleep due to practicing with the band, packing for myself and the band, and finishing some of the last minute touches that needed to be made. Then we drove all over the place picking up kids, trading cars, and FINALLY arriving at Fruitland Park, Florida. When we got there, the entire place was invaded by Mexicans and a few Canadians, but mostly the Muchachos. Matt and I decided it would be funny to mess with the students so we told them that the place had messed up the reservations, and we kept up such a serious attitude about it, that they totally bought it and it made me happy :) 10 minutes later or so we got them, got punched, and got an incredible feeling of satisfaction.
The weekend was crazy. Kids used water balloons, shaving cream, cheetos, and sticks to prank one another and retolin was unfortunatly not on hand. However, God did do some amazing things. The worship team played some amazing sets. It wasn't that we were anything special. We've played these songs before, and it was normal. However, this weekend, God really decided to be ushered in through songs of praise. The girls (Ashley and Ruth) did a really good job with setting up different stations to meet Jesus in creative ways, and I think that it was put their hearts in the right place. Students were looking at the scene, with artwork of what Jesus means to each students, candles lit in gratitude of His love, and a wooden cross, filled with the confessions of young souls giving these things up the their Lord, and it was too much. They broke down and cried. Then as the music played and that feeling of life that ONLY Jesus can put in you swept the room and I looked out and was joined with hands raised, eyes closed and smiles that literally could not be contained. It was the way life was designed to be lived.
My friend Matt spoke, and while he did an awesome job speaking to exactly what they needed to hear, I was more impressed with his relational skills. He pretty much made 50 new friends in an hour. He was comfortable and funny around them (all traits I desire to have) and was able to connect with them not because of what he said, but because of the attitude he had towards them. He is a good man.
Finally, I got home and slept...and slept.. and slept some more. And I'm tired. Monday was back to the grind of Student Venture. I was at the office all day working on stuff, trying to balance between working with, and not wanting to beat up good ole Ashley, and Im sure she felt the same way. We have tons of fun together serving but we def have our moments of frusteration. The meeting came around and it was not our most smooth of meetings. First off, we didn't pray. That will never happen again. Secondly, we packed in ALOT into the meeting and everything was rushed. The speaker was cool, I guess. I didn't really like him though. He had some good points, but I feel like he told alot of stupid stories and didn't really focus on Jesus. No kids gave their lives to Christ, but like I said before, I would blame that more on our lack of prayer then the speaker. After I finished cleaning up the place, I went home and got to talk to a student that I've had a falling out with. She is very important to me and I care about her alot, but because I know that she needs Jesus, she has begun to feel like I only talk to her to get her to come to our meetings or prayer.
Why do we as Christians feel like we have to get people to agree with us? Do they validate us in some way or make us more confident? I don't need a freshman girl to validate me. Why do we drive a herd of cattle, rather than lead a sheep to the green pastures? We, I included, come to people with our agendas to convert, conform, and confuse people with our beliefs, and Jesus only told us to LOVE people, and He trusted that His love was powerful enough to turn them into disciples of His. I apologize to all that I do that too, and repent to Jesus about coming to people with my agendas, and not my love. This is what I am learning, teaching, preaching, and hopefully with the grace of God, living now.
On a personal note, frusterations still arise. If this were a real journal that other people couldn't read, I would go more into detail, but for now, I will leave the topic with this nugget of wisdom from Isaac. Life is waiting. It's really a play on words, and I don't think he meant it to be. Life is waiting, your life is going to be you waiting for appointments, for love, for growth, for answered prayers, for green lights, ect ect ect. Life is waiting. Then you can take it as, Life is waiting. LIFE! Go get it! It's LIFE and it is waiting for you to begin it. There is an ancient Jewish proverb by a Jewish high priest named Hillel that says, "If not today, when?" If you aren't going to make a decision, jump in with your head under water, and you aren't going to do it today, then WHEN will you? I agree with Isaac when he says, "Take as long as you need but not a second longer" but how often do we hide behind the shrowd of "later" when later is the least promised thing to us. I want to wait and love someone who could become my wife, and give her the time she needs to love me equally, but do I hide behind that because it's safe and I don't have to do anything outwardly for the moment? These are my thoughts. And I would encourage you all to think about this. If not today, when? Do you love someone? Whether they know it or not, why not tell them today. Do you need to apologize to someone, but youre waiting for anger to subside or things to "smooth over." What happens when that person is taken away from you and you never get the opportunity. Me and Ashley saw a man flip his car and get flown through the windshield just a few weeks ago. Do you think that man had some unfinished business? Probably. I am being hypocrital, of course, because the people that I need to let know matter to me the most, I most likely won't. And the people that should matter the most to me, don't. They matter, yeah. But not the way they should. And even that is through the power of our Lord.
Lastly, I know that only a few people read this, but in spirit of what I'm writing about, I guess I should let you know my heart towards you. So here goes.
Becka - You are one of my best friends. You are wise, almost underrated wise (not in an insulting way, just that you are far wiser than I believe most people realize) and you are very in tune with the real person of Jesus. I understand your frusterations at times, even though I choose to play dumb to them, about how people are, how Jeremy can be, and how I can be towards people. You are sincerely a joy to be around and can make fun with the best of them. You are a friend. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would like you to know that you are appreciated.
Rachel - Our relationship is two part. First off, it very much jumps between best friends to best enemies over the course of a meal. That is how we are and that is half the fun of being friends with you. However, secondly, I realize that our friendship is constant. No matter what you were to do, or I were to do, I know that we would be friends in the morning. Whether it's a missed hug opportunity of bad sportsmanship in Mario Kart, it would phase away due to respect and admiration for one another. I know youre frusterations with the girls, and the people that you are with, but you are a leader. The people that God places in your life do not change the gifts of leadership that God has given you. You are a leader because you are a servant, who knows the Lord and is willing to set your life around that. Your sheep will come, they may be part of the enemy still, or maybe in the wrong field, but they will find you and you will lead them to a deep and real relationship with Jesus. Let prayer be your leadership tool for now. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would like you to know that you are respected.
Sterling - I have told lots of people this, and hopefully you at one time or another, but it bears repeating. I know very few, if any, more genuinely more caring guys than you. You are the only person that will call me just to see how Im doing. You have never given me any drama, you have never taken to heart any wrong doing I may have caused you, and you have ALWAYS always been a good friend. You love the Lord first, Rachel second, the people in your life third, and yourself fourth, and it is 100% transparent in the way you live your life. I know that you have frusterations and pains in your life with your dad, but you hide yourself so deeply in the arms of Jesus that it very rarely affects the way you are with people at all. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would want you to know that you are a role model.
Ashley - I don't know how you and I are where we are. Logically, with all the times that you have annoyed me, or I have made you mad, we should have had a fall out and never talked to eachother again. Yet, as a girl, you are probably my best friend. Your heart for the students is awe-inspiring. To see your heart BREAK for people that treat you badly at times, not because of the mean things they may do, but because of the fact that they are losing sight of Jesus, is at times, more inspiration than I know what to do with. You are an AMAZING leader, whom I respect and have learned from, and you push me to be the leader that God has called me to be. I know your frusterations with it being hard to trust people, and that the devil plays evil games with you and your struggles, but you, above any other person in my life, are a blessing, because you FIGHT Satan back. You taken very few things seriously (signs of living in the freedom of Jesus) yet when you go into battle, there is noone I would rather have by my side. If something were to happen to you or to myself, I would want you to know that you are loved.