Ugh. I am such a waste.
I'm a creative gal. I use my brain a lot and think up some pretty out there weird and awesome things, but I also have problems with fruition. Sure I have these great concepts in my mind, but I lack the follow through to take these things and make them a reality.
It's not always a question of inclination or activity, some times it's lack of knowledge or resources. But still, it's frustrating to have these ideas and things that live as though they are fully real and conceptualized within my mind, but I am unable to practically apply them to the outer realm of physical manifestation. It just makes me feel like a waste to sit here and be unable to affect these things within me.
A prime example would be our Zombie game. I want it to come true, whole heartedly I believe in the plausabilty of our game and I think it'll be awesome to play. I just keep coming upon barriers. I am thankful for the Dummies book, because without it I wouldn't be able to wrangle any meaning out of the Player's Guide. It's so steeped in terminology and minuitia that it's nearly incomprehensible. The Dummies guide is like a damed Rosetta Stone to the damned unweildy book. Yet still, for each piece of knowledge I'm assimilating, it comes further apart in my hands to the point that I'm realizing I'm going to have to go back and reconceptualize most of our early work. Our pooled knowledge of D&D was only half correct and kinda spotty, so a lot of what we have I'm going to have to wrench into place accordingly, or else our rules are going to be all over the map....and that's another thing, the map. I have no clue how to make our epic town a reality. Tradeitionally in D&D they only seem to use a map system in battle situations, or at least that's how it's sounding in my books. We've been envisioning a map that we walk over on a regular basis, which I now realize would be so huge as to fill the entire townhouse....but I don't know how to scale it down.
Argh. I'm just despondant and frustrated. I will make this work, I just don't know how.
....I'm gonna go read some Kingdom Hearts porn for a while.
(the second short story volume is coming out in Japan on March 31st "Axel Seven Days"....we don't even have volume 1 translated yet. WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME WITH REALLY SHITTY TRANSLATION SPEED SQUEENIX???)
It's not always a question of inclination or activity, some times it's lack of knowledge or resources. But still, it's frustrating to have these ideas and things that live as though they are fully real and conceptualized within my mind, but I am unable to practically apply them to the outer realm of physical manifestation. It just makes me feel like a waste to sit here and be unable to affect these things within me.
A prime example would be our Zombie game. I want it to come true, whole heartedly I believe in the plausabilty of our game and I think it'll be awesome to play. I just keep coming upon barriers. I am thankful for the Dummies book, because without it I wouldn't be able to wrangle any meaning out of the Player's Guide. It's so steeped in terminology and minuitia that it's nearly incomprehensible. The Dummies guide is like a damed Rosetta Stone to the damned unweildy book. Yet still, for each piece of knowledge I'm assimilating, it comes further apart in my hands to the point that I'm realizing I'm going to have to go back and reconceptualize most of our early work. Our pooled knowledge of D&D was only half correct and kinda spotty, so a lot of what we have I'm going to have to wrench into place accordingly, or else our rules are going to be all over the map....and that's another thing, the map. I have no clue how to make our epic town a reality. Tradeitionally in D&D they only seem to use a map system in battle situations, or at least that's how it's sounding in my books. We've been envisioning a map that we walk over on a regular basis, which I now realize would be so huge as to fill the entire townhouse....but I don't know how to scale it down.
Argh. I'm just despondant and frustrated. I will make this work, I just don't know how.
....I'm gonna go read some Kingdom Hearts porn for a while.
(the second short story volume is coming out in Japan on March 31st "Axel Seven Days"....we don't even have volume 1 translated yet. WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME WITH REALLY SHITTY TRANSLATION SPEED SQUEENIX???)