I have seen you through various states of madness

[ryanmcian]

Halloween was semi depressing this year, last year i got to spend it with amanda seeing not only the ghoulies but also the cramps play the fillmore on Halloween night. This year, i stayed in and watched old cult classics on TCM. And i guess i could have gone to the show at the True Love but to be honest i feel out of place, awkward, and just plain uncomfortable at shows like that without amanda. which i haven't had direct contact with going on 3 or so weeks. and i don't pretend not to know why but it has been effecting my mood pretty heavily lately, just the way it goes though. I'd hope to see her before i leave but i don't think ill bother leaving messages anymore, if she wanted to talk she would have answered one of them by now. Tour should help me get things off my mind, ill probably keep my phone off the entire time to.

I keep listening to this song i found, just seems to fit for the mood of the night. Reminds me of amanda.