Summer Time - 14
Rating: No idea where this might end up so let's be safe. NC17
Beta: Thanks loracj I had a further tweak, so all mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie (unfortunately)
Story: This all takes place a few years after the end of S4
14
Ryan sat on the sofa after he finished the call, the TV flashing in front of him. He’d been attempting to watch football, but he couldn’t concentrate. He shut the TV off so that he could think through all the things running around in his head. It wasn’t just the call from Berkeley, but it had brought everything to the forefront. His mind was a jumbled mess and he had to sort it out. He couldn’t go on like this.
How did he get here?
How did the kid from Chino, who often went without food as a child because his Mom had spent all they had either gambling or on booze, end up with a trust fund?
He had no idea how much it was and he didn’t care. He never intended to use it. But Sandy and Kirsten treating him as one of their own children meant more to him than any amount of money ever could.
The meaning of money was so different to the Cohen’s than it was to him. It wasn’t that he didn’t value it. If anything, he valued it more because he’d spent a good part of his life without it. He knew what it was like to have nothing. It had made him appreciate having money and he was careful how he spent it. But it also meant that he knew just how little he needed. It wasn’t as important to him as it was to someone like Seth. Ryan’s needs were pretty basic. He knew that if he needed to, then he could survive with very little.
That didn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy having a job that paid well; a job that allowed him to live in an upper class apartment in a great location in Manhattan. And thanks to Summer and her dad, he was managing to save a big chunk of his salary. He planned to start repaying the Cohen’s back for his college education in the near future.
But he still had trouble wrapping his head around the idea of a trust fund with his name on it and the fact that the Cohen’s thought enough of him to set it up in the first place. Not that he wouldn’t give them everything he owned, including the shirt off his back if they needed it, such was his level of indebtedness and gratitude to them.
But he knew that this trust fund business would only make things worse with Seth. He wondered if Seth even knew that his parents had started a trust for Ryan. Probably not, he figured, because in the last year or so, things between them had grown increasingly strained, and if Seth had known about it, he would definitely have used it to throw in a dig or two. The temptation would have been too great.
Ryan knew that once Sandy and Kirsten informed Seth that he wouldn’t be getting his hands on his trust fund, there was a good chance that they would mention that Ryan’s had been changed also, and once Seth knew, it was only a matter of time before things worsened between them.
As if they could get much worse.
He wondered when things had started to go wrong.
Looking back, he realized that the gaps had started to appear in their relationship when Seth went away to college. Seth had grown up eagerly waiting for the time when he could head to the East Coast and get out of the Newport bubble. But once he had his chance, and got out, he found that he didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as he’d thought he would.
And somehow that had ended up being Ryan’s fault.
It seemed that Seth’s problems making friends, which was a problem all through his childhood, didn’t magically disappear by flying across the country. He was miserable without Ryan. And Summer was working with GEORGE and was rarely around.
It would have been easier for Seth to deal with had Ryan been miserable too. But Ryan had managed to blend into college life well. Thanks to his roommate, Ryan had gotten involved in set design and construction for the college theatre group, which, along with study, took up most of his time. They were a great bunch of people who were very social and Ryan enjoyed being a part of something. What free time he did have, he spent at the Cohen’s. It was important to him to be around for Sophie’s upbringing, so he made a point of spending at least a few hours with her every week. Baby sitting duty was never a chore. He loved it.
Which of course only caused more problems with Seth.
Seth insisted that Ryan had the ‘perfect’ college experience. He lived in the dorms at Berkeley, which gave him the freedom that most young adults craved. And he got to spend time at home as well.
Taylor had left for France again, so he had the additional advantage of being unattached. So he could ‘entertain’ young women whenever he pleased; which, of course, he did.
Seth and Summer were still an item, even though she wasn’t there most of the time, and Seth was unable to use casual sex as an avenue for enjoyment. So he tried to live vicariously through Ryan, pressuring him into details of his latest conquests, which of course Ryan hated.
It was only a matter of time before he told Seth to stop asking about his love life and go and find something to keep himself amused.
Unfortunately, Seth took Ryan literally and went and hooked up with the campus whore, who was more than willing.
The night he called Ryan to brag about it was the first time Ryan could actually remember being happy that there was a whole country between them. If Seth had been in Berkeley, he wouldn’t have been able to restrain himself. Seth would have gotten a good old fashioned Kid Chino beating.
He couldn’t believe that Seth would cheat on Summer. And … be happy, even proud of it.
To this day, he had no idea if Summer knew about Seth’s cheating back then, but he knew there would be nothing gained by sharing the knowledge.
Unfortunately, Ryan being angry with him did nothing to slow Seth down. If anything, it actually egged him on. It seemed that he’d decided to live by the creed “If the cat’s away, the mice can play.” And play he did.
Seth may not have had any real friends, but he quickly found that as long as he had a decent supply of pot, there was always someone prepared to spend time with him, as long as he was sharing. If they happened to be female and he ended the evening between their legs, even better.
But Seth quickly learned to keep his activities to himself. He was disappointed that Ryan couldn’t see that he was only trying to make his life on the East Coast bearable. He insisted that if the tables were turned, he would have supported Ryan.
But the fact that Seth would try and justify what he did only made Ryan angrier.
Their calls got fewer and fewer, and even the time they spent together at the holidays was strained. Fortunately, Ryan always made sure he had a job lined up before Seth arrived in Berkeley. That helped to lessen the time they spent together.
Seth also started to spend less and less time in Berkeley.
He always had a reason to cut his visits short. Either he wanted to spend some time in Newport catching up with Summer, which was pretty ridiculous, considering how much he ‘hated’ being there. Or he had some ‘commitment’ back at RISD that he needed to head back for.
Ryan quickly realized Seth’s real ‘commitment’. He didn’t like to be away from his supplier for too long.
Seth was failing courses at RISD, and his solution was to enrol in others. Ryan now suspected that Seth rarely made it to class and had graduated from the occasional joint, to partying with something much stronger, probably coke. But he had no proof.
He still felt guilty that he hadn’t gotten more involved with ‘The Seth Problem’ back then. Maybe if they’d caught it earlier, things wouldn’t be where they were today. But he really didn’t know what he could have done to stop it. Not when they lived on opposite sides of the country.
Seth being away so much only led to another problem.
Sophie barely knew who he was.
She grew up thinking of Ryan as her brother and Seth as someone who dropped by every now and then. Given the choice, she would always choose to spend her time with Ryan over Seth.
From Kirsten’s remarks, Ryan guessed that not much had changed. It seemed that he was still the favourite brother, and he was pleased to be. But should he feel guilty about that too?
He loved Sophie Rose to bits. She’d grown by leaps and bounds, and Ryan had been there for all her milestones; her first tooth, her first step, her first day of school. Being at Berkeley for college and then staying on there for his graduate studies had made that possible. Seth had come home for vacations and holidays, but because of his absences, he’d never been able to put a dent in the Sophie/Ryan connection, and he was really angry about that. He thought that he deserved to be the favourite brother. After all, he was the one with the same genes. Again, it was something else that he could blame Ryan for.
It was part of the reason why Ryan had decided to leave Berkeley - to give Seth a chance to bond with his sister. While Ryan was available, Sophie was never interested in spending time with Seth. He’d hoped that once he was out of the picture, she’d spend more time with Seth and they could get closer. But it seemed that Seth living at home and Ryan being away hadn’t changed a thing. Sophie still preferred Ryan.
By the time Seth and Summer got married, he and Seth were really struggling to maintain any sort of relationship. It didn’t come naturally anymore. He could still remember the horrible fight they’d had on the evening before the wedding. Ryan had tried to get Seth to promise that he would stay clean and never cheat on Summer.
Of course, Seth had taken offence that Ryan would even think such a thing. But Ryan now knew from what Summer had told him that Seth lasted no more than a couple of months before he was back to his old ways.
And that only made Ryan feel even guiltier. He should have been able to stop it from happening. But how?
When she married Seth, Summer had been put in a position where she’d had to cope with Seth’s problems. They had become her problems too. Seth had continued to light up and when she’d challenged him, he’d resorted to lying to try to cover his tracks. She had to deal with his lies, and that wasn’t fair to her.
Ryan didn’t know if Seth was cheating on her also, and he didn’t want to ask, but he suspected that if Seth had gone back to partying with his ‘friends’, then he probably was. Summer only admitted to him that it was Seth’s lying that had finally caused her to put an end to their relationship; just what he was lying about, Ryan hadn’t asked.
Ryan wished there was a way to get his brother back. He would never have imagined that he would end up being closer to Luke than Seth, but that’s the way that it was at the moment, and he couldn’t see it changing anytime soon.
But he couldn’t afford to do anything that would make matters worse.
He contemplated what would happen if Seth found out that he was living with Summer. Even though nothing had happened between them, Seth would see it as a betrayal. No question about it. He felt guilty for keeping it secret.
But telling him would only make things worse.
He felt guilty that he didn’t tell Kirsten who the ‘mystery woman’ was; the one woman who had shown him what he really wanted in a relationship.
But that would only make things worse.
Not revealing to Sandy why he didn’t need any money, because his living arrangements meant that he wasn’t paying rent right now, made him feel guilty.
But what would Sandy think if he knew the real story?
Ryan rubbed his brow. As usual, too much thinking was bringing on a new headache.
He knew that the only answer was for him to move out and sever all ties with Summer.
But he couldn’t do that. She meant too much to him. Correction, she meant everything to him.
But he couldn’t give up the Cohen’s either.
Add to that his concern about Taylor being back in Berkeley.
Shit, as if he needed any more complications. Kirsten was sure that Taylor wanted him back, but he wanted no part of her. What was he going to do about her? He put that on the back burner. One unresolved issue at a time, he reasoned.
Trying to change topics and think of something else, something more pleasurable, in hopes of abating the headache, he allowed thoughts of Summer to flood his mind.
But even thoughts of her brought back uncomfortable memories.
She was in Washington DC. Had been for a few weeks.
But things on her last visit hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped.
Thinking back to the visit to Central Park and revealing to her what had happened between he and Taylor couldn’t really be termed fun. But he was glad that she now knew. All of it. It somehow made it easier for him. And they had enjoyed each other’s company.
She’d started to tell him a little of her issues with Seth. But she sensed that it only put Ryan in an awkward position, so she’d clammed up and kept the rest to herself. Ryan regretted that he hadn’t been able to offer her the same sympathetic ear that she’d given to him. All because of his loyalty to Seth.
But it hadn’t gone well when he tried to explain his motivation for furnishing the spare bedroom.
He was surprised that she’d been so persistent in trying to get him to come back and share her bed. She’d decided that it meant that he was somehow turned off by her. In truth, it was the exact opposite. But it was better that she believed that, since he couldn’t tell her the real reason.
Whatever it took to ensure that he wasn’t going to be lying awake in her electrically charged bed (as he found it whenever she was there). Although now that she was away, he had taken to sleeping on her side. He could still smell her scent that lingered there and he allowed himself the indulgence while she was away.
But she was coming home for the weekend, it was her birthday, and he had to think of something to get for her.
He knew that she didn’t want jewelry; she’d already said that she had too much that she never wore. But he didn’t want to buy something for the apartment. That would be like buying something for himself since they both shared it. And it wouldn’t really mean anything.
He wanted it to be just for her.
And it had to be special.
Beta: Thanks loracj I had a further tweak, so all mistakes are mine.
Disclaimer: I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie (unfortunately)
Story: This all takes place a few years after the end of S4
14
Ryan sat on the sofa after he finished the call, the TV flashing in front of him. He’d been attempting to watch football, but he couldn’t concentrate. He shut the TV off so that he could think through all the things running around in his head. It wasn’t just the call from Berkeley, but it had brought everything to the forefront. His mind was a jumbled mess and he had to sort it out. He couldn’t go on like this.
How did he get here?
How did the kid from Chino, who often went without food as a child because his Mom had spent all they had either gambling or on booze, end up with a trust fund?
He had no idea how much it was and he didn’t care. He never intended to use it. But Sandy and Kirsten treating him as one of their own children meant more to him than any amount of money ever could.
The meaning of money was so different to the Cohen’s than it was to him. It wasn’t that he didn’t value it. If anything, he valued it more because he’d spent a good part of his life without it. He knew what it was like to have nothing. It had made him appreciate having money and he was careful how he spent it. But it also meant that he knew just how little he needed. It wasn’t as important to him as it was to someone like Seth. Ryan’s needs were pretty basic. He knew that if he needed to, then he could survive with very little.
That didn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy having a job that paid well; a job that allowed him to live in an upper class apartment in a great location in Manhattan. And thanks to Summer and her dad, he was managing to save a big chunk of his salary. He planned to start repaying the Cohen’s back for his college education in the near future.
But he still had trouble wrapping his head around the idea of a trust fund with his name on it and the fact that the Cohen’s thought enough of him to set it up in the first place. Not that he wouldn’t give them everything he owned, including the shirt off his back if they needed it, such was his level of indebtedness and gratitude to them.
But he knew that this trust fund business would only make things worse with Seth. He wondered if Seth even knew that his parents had started a trust for Ryan. Probably not, he figured, because in the last year or so, things between them had grown increasingly strained, and if Seth had known about it, he would definitely have used it to throw in a dig or two. The temptation would have been too great.
Ryan knew that once Sandy and Kirsten informed Seth that he wouldn’t be getting his hands on his trust fund, there was a good chance that they would mention that Ryan’s had been changed also, and once Seth knew, it was only a matter of time before things worsened between them.
As if they could get much worse.
He wondered when things had started to go wrong.
Looking back, he realized that the gaps had started to appear in their relationship when Seth went away to college. Seth had grown up eagerly waiting for the time when he could head to the East Coast and get out of the Newport bubble. But once he had his chance, and got out, he found that he didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as he’d thought he would.
And somehow that had ended up being Ryan’s fault.
It seemed that Seth’s problems making friends, which was a problem all through his childhood, didn’t magically disappear by flying across the country. He was miserable without Ryan. And Summer was working with GEORGE and was rarely around.
It would have been easier for Seth to deal with had Ryan been miserable too. But Ryan had managed to blend into college life well. Thanks to his roommate, Ryan had gotten involved in set design and construction for the college theatre group, which, along with study, took up most of his time. They were a great bunch of people who were very social and Ryan enjoyed being a part of something. What free time he did have, he spent at the Cohen’s. It was important to him to be around for Sophie’s upbringing, so he made a point of spending at least a few hours with her every week. Baby sitting duty was never a chore. He loved it.
Which of course only caused more problems with Seth.
Seth insisted that Ryan had the ‘perfect’ college experience. He lived in the dorms at Berkeley, which gave him the freedom that most young adults craved. And he got to spend time at home as well.
Taylor had left for France again, so he had the additional advantage of being unattached. So he could ‘entertain’ young women whenever he pleased; which, of course, he did.
Seth and Summer were still an item, even though she wasn’t there most of the time, and Seth was unable to use casual sex as an avenue for enjoyment. So he tried to live vicariously through Ryan, pressuring him into details of his latest conquests, which of course Ryan hated.
It was only a matter of time before he told Seth to stop asking about his love life and go and find something to keep himself amused.
Unfortunately, Seth took Ryan literally and went and hooked up with the campus whore, who was more than willing.
The night he called Ryan to brag about it was the first time Ryan could actually remember being happy that there was a whole country between them. If Seth had been in Berkeley, he wouldn’t have been able to restrain himself. Seth would have gotten a good old fashioned Kid Chino beating.
He couldn’t believe that Seth would cheat on Summer. And … be happy, even proud of it.
To this day, he had no idea if Summer knew about Seth’s cheating back then, but he knew there would be nothing gained by sharing the knowledge.
Unfortunately, Ryan being angry with him did nothing to slow Seth down. If anything, it actually egged him on. It seemed that he’d decided to live by the creed “If the cat’s away, the mice can play.” And play he did.
Seth may not have had any real friends, but he quickly found that as long as he had a decent supply of pot, there was always someone prepared to spend time with him, as long as he was sharing. If they happened to be female and he ended the evening between their legs, even better.
But Seth quickly learned to keep his activities to himself. He was disappointed that Ryan couldn’t see that he was only trying to make his life on the East Coast bearable. He insisted that if the tables were turned, he would have supported Ryan.
But the fact that Seth would try and justify what he did only made Ryan angrier.
Their calls got fewer and fewer, and even the time they spent together at the holidays was strained. Fortunately, Ryan always made sure he had a job lined up before Seth arrived in Berkeley. That helped to lessen the time they spent together.
Seth also started to spend less and less time in Berkeley.
He always had a reason to cut his visits short. Either he wanted to spend some time in Newport catching up with Summer, which was pretty ridiculous, considering how much he ‘hated’ being there. Or he had some ‘commitment’ back at RISD that he needed to head back for.
Ryan quickly realized Seth’s real ‘commitment’. He didn’t like to be away from his supplier for too long.
Seth was failing courses at RISD, and his solution was to enrol in others. Ryan now suspected that Seth rarely made it to class and had graduated from the occasional joint, to partying with something much stronger, probably coke. But he had no proof.
He still felt guilty that he hadn’t gotten more involved with ‘The Seth Problem’ back then. Maybe if they’d caught it earlier, things wouldn’t be where they were today. But he really didn’t know what he could have done to stop it. Not when they lived on opposite sides of the country.
Seth being away so much only led to another problem.
Sophie barely knew who he was.
She grew up thinking of Ryan as her brother and Seth as someone who dropped by every now and then. Given the choice, she would always choose to spend her time with Ryan over Seth.
From Kirsten’s remarks, Ryan guessed that not much had changed. It seemed that he was still the favourite brother, and he was pleased to be. But should he feel guilty about that too?
He loved Sophie Rose to bits. She’d grown by leaps and bounds, and Ryan had been there for all her milestones; her first tooth, her first step, her first day of school. Being at Berkeley for college and then staying on there for his graduate studies had made that possible. Seth had come home for vacations and holidays, but because of his absences, he’d never been able to put a dent in the Sophie/Ryan connection, and he was really angry about that. He thought that he deserved to be the favourite brother. After all, he was the one with the same genes. Again, it was something else that he could blame Ryan for.
It was part of the reason why Ryan had decided to leave Berkeley - to give Seth a chance to bond with his sister. While Ryan was available, Sophie was never interested in spending time with Seth. He’d hoped that once he was out of the picture, she’d spend more time with Seth and they could get closer. But it seemed that Seth living at home and Ryan being away hadn’t changed a thing. Sophie still preferred Ryan.
By the time Seth and Summer got married, he and Seth were really struggling to maintain any sort of relationship. It didn’t come naturally anymore. He could still remember the horrible fight they’d had on the evening before the wedding. Ryan had tried to get Seth to promise that he would stay clean and never cheat on Summer.
Of course, Seth had taken offence that Ryan would even think such a thing. But Ryan now knew from what Summer had told him that Seth lasted no more than a couple of months before he was back to his old ways.
And that only made Ryan feel even guiltier. He should have been able to stop it from happening. But how?
When she married Seth, Summer had been put in a position where she’d had to cope with Seth’s problems. They had become her problems too. Seth had continued to light up and when she’d challenged him, he’d resorted to lying to try to cover his tracks. She had to deal with his lies, and that wasn’t fair to her.
Ryan didn’t know if Seth was cheating on her also, and he didn’t want to ask, but he suspected that if Seth had gone back to partying with his ‘friends’, then he probably was. Summer only admitted to him that it was Seth’s lying that had finally caused her to put an end to their relationship; just what he was lying about, Ryan hadn’t asked.
Ryan wished there was a way to get his brother back. He would never have imagined that he would end up being closer to Luke than Seth, but that’s the way that it was at the moment, and he couldn’t see it changing anytime soon.
But he couldn’t afford to do anything that would make matters worse.
He contemplated what would happen if Seth found out that he was living with Summer. Even though nothing had happened between them, Seth would see it as a betrayal. No question about it. He felt guilty for keeping it secret.
But telling him would only make things worse.
He felt guilty that he didn’t tell Kirsten who the ‘mystery woman’ was; the one woman who had shown him what he really wanted in a relationship.
But that would only make things worse.
Not revealing to Sandy why he didn’t need any money, because his living arrangements meant that he wasn’t paying rent right now, made him feel guilty.
But what would Sandy think if he knew the real story?
Ryan rubbed his brow. As usual, too much thinking was bringing on a new headache.
He knew that the only answer was for him to move out and sever all ties with Summer.
But he couldn’t do that. She meant too much to him. Correction, she meant everything to him.
But he couldn’t give up the Cohen’s either.
Add to that his concern about Taylor being back in Berkeley.
Shit, as if he needed any more complications. Kirsten was sure that Taylor wanted him back, but he wanted no part of her. What was he going to do about her? He put that on the back burner. One unresolved issue at a time, he reasoned.
Trying to change topics and think of something else, something more pleasurable, in hopes of abating the headache, he allowed thoughts of Summer to flood his mind.
But even thoughts of her brought back uncomfortable memories.
She was in Washington DC. Had been for a few weeks.
But things on her last visit hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped.
Thinking back to the visit to Central Park and revealing to her what had happened between he and Taylor couldn’t really be termed fun. But he was glad that she now knew. All of it. It somehow made it easier for him. And they had enjoyed each other’s company.
She’d started to tell him a little of her issues with Seth. But she sensed that it only put Ryan in an awkward position, so she’d clammed up and kept the rest to herself. Ryan regretted that he hadn’t been able to offer her the same sympathetic ear that she’d given to him. All because of his loyalty to Seth.
But it hadn’t gone well when he tried to explain his motivation for furnishing the spare bedroom.
He was surprised that she’d been so persistent in trying to get him to come back and share her bed. She’d decided that it meant that he was somehow turned off by her. In truth, it was the exact opposite. But it was better that she believed that, since he couldn’t tell her the real reason.
Whatever it took to ensure that he wasn’t going to be lying awake in her electrically charged bed (as he found it whenever she was there). Although now that she was away, he had taken to sleeping on her side. He could still smell her scent that lingered there and he allowed himself the indulgence while she was away.
But she was coming home for the weekend, it was her birthday, and he had to think of something to get for her.
He knew that she didn’t want jewelry; she’d already said that she had too much that she never wore. But he didn’t want to buy something for the apartment. That would be like buying something for himself since they both shared it. And it wouldn’t really mean anything.
He wanted it to be just for her.
And it had to be special.