(no subject)
mannn has life ever been crazy lately..
my entire world has seriously been flipped upside down.
its been one shock after another, one struggle after another..
temptation after temptation, failure after failure,
and successes have only been few and far between.
im just ready for things to change, to go back how they were.
ive found myself falling away from everything i know lately.
im falling away from friends, church, and even God.
and its something that i dont want to happen. something i wont let happen.
its not that im going crazy, or doing wild things...
its not that im gona start drinking and partying again all the sudden..
i still havnt cussed in 7 or 8 months...
i havnt shot anybody or gotten into any fights..
i havnt commited any felonies, its nothing big..
its just all the little things.
where i used to love spending time in the bible, i talk on the phone.
where i used to never miss a church service, i find myself too tired to wake up.
where i used to never listen to secular music, i find myself listening to awful stuff.
where i used to never consider sin, i find myself constantly stuggling temptation.
where i used to find myself strong and couragous, im weak and scared.
i want to change it all. i want to be who i was.
i want to change someones life, i want to make a difference.
i love all my friends to death, and i love yall for what you do.
i started to name you by names, but theres too many great people in my life.
so just know i love and appreciate every single one of yall.
ive been down before, and said it before, but i really wana start over again.
i dont wana be something im not, nor do i want to pretend to be.
all i wana do is love God, worship God, live for God, and reflect God in my life.
and as far as the rest of life is concerned, i know it will work out.
im just tired of going for it half way, from now on, im going the whole way.
sorry this post is so long, its half confessional / half for me...
but thanks to everyone who read it. and thanks to all my friends again.
some of you have been there more than others, but a machine wont work without all its parts,
and i wouldnt be me without all of your influences on me.
yeah, so this is to starting over, again. pray for me please?
my entire world has seriously been flipped upside down.
its been one shock after another, one struggle after another..
temptation after temptation, failure after failure,
and successes have only been few and far between.
im just ready for things to change, to go back how they were.
ive found myself falling away from everything i know lately.
im falling away from friends, church, and even God.
and its something that i dont want to happen. something i wont let happen.
its not that im going crazy, or doing wild things...
its not that im gona start drinking and partying again all the sudden..
i still havnt cussed in 7 or 8 months...
i havnt shot anybody or gotten into any fights..
i havnt commited any felonies, its nothing big..
its just all the little things.
where i used to love spending time in the bible, i talk on the phone.
where i used to never miss a church service, i find myself too tired to wake up.
where i used to never listen to secular music, i find myself listening to awful stuff.
where i used to never consider sin, i find myself constantly stuggling temptation.
where i used to find myself strong and couragous, im weak and scared.
i want to change it all. i want to be who i was.
i want to change someones life, i want to make a difference.
i love all my friends to death, and i love yall for what you do.
i started to name you by names, but theres too many great people in my life.
so just know i love and appreciate every single one of yall.
ive been down before, and said it before, but i really wana start over again.
i dont wana be something im not, nor do i want to pretend to be.
all i wana do is love God, worship God, live for God, and reflect God in my life.
and as far as the rest of life is concerned, i know it will work out.
im just tired of going for it half way, from now on, im going the whole way.
sorry this post is so long, its half confessional / half for me...
but thanks to everyone who read it. and thanks to all my friends again.
some of you have been there more than others, but a machine wont work without all its parts,
and i wouldnt be me without all of your influences on me.
yeah, so this is to starting over, again. pray for me please?