Saturday
Wow, ok lets see what I all did.... I Watched tv and read something for like 15 minutes. I also was able to accomplish all of this in my apartment. Which isn't too bad except when you are the only one there. I know I could have gone outside and done something (which is what I really wanted to, but what would I do) just I don't think anything by myself would have worked out. Now I know that some people were doing stuff and that is fine, I am not trying to yell at anyone. Really I am mad at myself for being pathetic.
I am getting ready for the school year to be done even though I don't for other reasons. I am just sick of classes but I never really liked them except for one but now I can hardly stay awake in it.
Another thing that bothers me but isn't new is that I want to talk but I never seem to be able to. I have so many different things to say but never seem to be able to get them out. I know that they all seem stupid when I am able to say one of these things and I know they are because of the way everyone reacts to what I say. I am sorry, I have never been good at telling stories.
I have been thinking a lot about after college, even though it still is going to be some time until Graduation, and what am I going to do. Where do I want to work, live and a lot of shit like that. And it all scares me. I don't know what to think about any of it. It seems like everyone else knows what they are going to be doing except me. I know that isn't true for everyone but it still it is how I feel.
I can't wait until I am able to just spend some time with Tarah. It has really been awhile since we have been able to just hang out. We did on Friday but it wasn't really it for some reason. I think I was just very tired then.
I don't know why but it seems like I can't have fun as of late. Whatever. Maybe it is because my body is so fucked up right now. I am always tired the whole day. The amount of sleep I get doesn't make a difference.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
I am getting ready for the school year to be done even though I don't for other reasons. I am just sick of classes but I never really liked them except for one but now I can hardly stay awake in it.
Another thing that bothers me but isn't new is that I want to talk but I never seem to be able to. I have so many different things to say but never seem to be able to get them out. I know that they all seem stupid when I am able to say one of these things and I know they are because of the way everyone reacts to what I say. I am sorry, I have never been good at telling stories.
I have been thinking a lot about after college, even though it still is going to be some time until Graduation, and what am I going to do. Where do I want to work, live and a lot of shit like that. And it all scares me. I don't know what to think about any of it. It seems like everyone else knows what they are going to be doing except me. I know that isn't true for everyone but it still it is how I feel.
I can't wait until I am able to just spend some time with Tarah. It has really been awhile since we have been able to just hang out. We did on Friday but it wasn't really it for some reason. I think I was just very tired then.
I don't know why but it seems like I can't have fun as of late. Whatever. Maybe it is because my body is so fucked up right now. I am always tired the whole day. The amount of sleep I get doesn't make a difference.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.