Verbatim: Friday
Happy hour with coworkers went something like this:
ME: You guys, do you remember Tim, that mean old man in I.T.? You know, the one who made the new people cry, and was like hiring hookers so he could use them and not pay them? The one who passed out home-made gay people will burn in hell pamphlets?
CUTE COWORKER BOY: Yeah, I remember. What about him?
ME: (Taking a sip of wine) Oh HE DIED.
CUTE COWORKER BOY: Of HATRED??!!
ME: Oh I'm not sure, he just DIED. Yep. Took a whole week for them to find him.
KATIE: You people don't know what it's like to be married with three kids. Do you know what our idea of date night is? It's GOING TO THE GAS STATION to get gas for 15 minutes on a Friday night. That's as romantic as it gets.
TAMMY: Geeze that sounds horrible. When do you people have time for sex?
KATIE: Like I said, Friday is date night, we only have 15 minutes away from the kids to go get gas. If any hanky panky is going to happen, it's going to be in that time period.
ME: Wait...what are you trying to say? That you guys have SEX IN THE CAR AT THE GAS STATION?
KATIE: (Sighs). You people will never understand until you have kids. All I will say is, my husband and I are banned from the Shell Station near our house.
In other news...the other week, I woke up one morning and randomly decided that I wanted to play VIDEO GAMES. So I went to Gamestop, and dropped $400 on a Nintendo DS, and like 6 video games. Ever since then, I couldn't stop playing. I knew this was a bad idea, because now I'll never get anything done.
ME: You guys, do you remember Tim, that mean old man in I.T.? You know, the one who made the new people cry, and was like hiring hookers so he could use them and not pay them? The one who passed out home-made gay people will burn in hell pamphlets?
CUTE COWORKER BOY: Yeah, I remember. What about him?
ME: (Taking a sip of wine) Oh HE DIED.
CUTE COWORKER BOY: Of HATRED??!!
ME: Oh I'm not sure, he just DIED. Yep. Took a whole week for them to find him.
KATIE: You people don't know what it's like to be married with three kids. Do you know what our idea of date night is? It's GOING TO THE GAS STATION to get gas for 15 minutes on a Friday night. That's as romantic as it gets.
TAMMY: Geeze that sounds horrible. When do you people have time for sex?
KATIE: Like I said, Friday is date night, we only have 15 minutes away from the kids to go get gas. If any hanky panky is going to happen, it's going to be in that time period.
ME: Wait...what are you trying to say? That you guys have SEX IN THE CAR AT THE GAS STATION?
KATIE: (Sighs). You people will never understand until you have kids. All I will say is, my husband and I are banned from the Shell Station near our house.
In other news...the other week, I woke up one morning and randomly decided that I wanted to play VIDEO GAMES. So I went to Gamestop, and dropped $400 on a Nintendo DS, and like 6 video games. Ever since then, I couldn't stop playing. I knew this was a bad idea, because now I'll never get anything done.