(no subject)
so looking over past entries
at least in the past year,
i hadn't realized just how hysterical my writing is...
i've started to use a lot of HOLY SHITS and OMGGGGGGODSSSS!!!
and i tend to rant with this internal teenage voice
and a five-year-old rhythm.
it's kind of shocking to read over it,
because in person and reality, i'm not like that at all...
i'm excitable and weird,
and also sometimes hysterical...
the thing is, i'm also... cool-balls.
also? not an idiot.
my past year involved some incredibly serious things,
and maybe i've diminished that fact with my !!! and my ALLCAPS!!!!
more so, even more than that...
even before the breakup drama and the end of the world,
i had some really hard times. i was very unhappy,
and i really needed help and to be able to reach out.
instead, i wrote in a blog, and dramatized it.
that was my call to help. it was lame.
all it did was make people gossip,
and no one helped me at all.
LAME.
POINT: this is the first blog i've written that is read by people i know,
and there is this element of caught-in-the-headlights-entertain-me thing that i can't get past. even when i was falling to pieces, i still tried to be entertaining or something, and now... looking back over the past year or two (at least)... i don't have the right record of my life. some of it was awesomely recorded... but a lot of it sort became a !!! and also some OOOOOHHHHMYFFGGGGGAWWWWDDDDSSSS...
it's so lame, oh man.
i've gotten lazy.
the point is, i am going to start a real blog somewhere else.
i need blogging, i've been writing an online diary for ten+ years
and before that, i wrote long emails to a bud who has been storing them
(apparently, he's planning to make a big buck one day,
or at least to embarrass me at my one-day wedding, HA!)
this particular one is really kind of silly.
adios amigos. blah blah lewegah.
ps: if you pass a girl on a street who puts the word "balls" at the end of a phrase, then shootballs. please come over talk to me, dudeballs.
at least in the past year,
i hadn't realized just how hysterical my writing is...
i've started to use a lot of HOLY SHITS and OMGGGGGGODSSSS!!!
and i tend to rant with this internal teenage voice
and a five-year-old rhythm.
it's kind of shocking to read over it,
because in person and reality, i'm not like that at all...
i'm excitable and weird,
and also sometimes hysterical...
the thing is, i'm also... cool-balls.
also? not an idiot.
my past year involved some incredibly serious things,
and maybe i've diminished that fact with my !!! and my ALLCAPS!!!!
more so, even more than that...
even before the breakup drama and the end of the world,
i had some really hard times. i was very unhappy,
and i really needed help and to be able to reach out.
instead, i wrote in a blog, and dramatized it.
that was my call to help. it was lame.
all it did was make people gossip,
and no one helped me at all.
LAME.
POINT: this is the first blog i've written that is read by people i know,
and there is this element of caught-in-the-headlights-entertain-me thing that i can't get past. even when i was falling to pieces, i still tried to be entertaining or something, and now... looking back over the past year or two (at least)... i don't have the right record of my life. some of it was awesomely recorded... but a lot of it sort became a !!! and also some OOOOOHHHHMYFFGGGGGAWWWWDDDDSSSS...
it's so lame, oh man.
i've gotten lazy.
the point is, i am going to start a real blog somewhere else.
i need blogging, i've been writing an online diary for ten+ years
and before that, i wrote long emails to a bud who has been storing them
(apparently, he's planning to make a big buck one day,
or at least to embarrass me at my one-day wedding, HA!)
this particular one is really kind of silly.
adios amigos. blah blah lewegah.
ps: if you pass a girl on a street who puts the word "balls" at the end of a phrase, then shootballs. please come over talk to me, dudeballs.