Rambles and epiphanies
Tonight I'm enjoying my own personal little pity party. Yar's out walking the dog, all excited about the prospect of a new job...for which I'm so very grateful. If there is anybody who deserves some workplace happiness and security, it's him. He's offered to help me out with the car in his downtime and will take it tomorrow to get some quotes, and for that, I'm also grateful. I know that I'm lucky. This event is not, by any means, the end of the world, nor has this week been anywhere near as bad as what others have experienced of late. I know people must look at me and roll their eyes at how often I complain and how easily I share the bad rather than the good. Trust me, I know there's lots of good, and, for the most part, I really am very happy. I have Yarry, who I adore. I have a fulfilling job that I enjoy most of the time and work with people I truly respect. I have my health, family nearby, friends I can count on and who, I hope, know they can count on me.
It's easy for me to sweat the small stuff. Easier to share it. I'll complain about my TV shows, my job, driving my car into a railing like a moron. I'll beat myself up, share my doubts, my neuroses and my failings. It's always been easier than tooting my own horn. I am often my own worst promoter.
That said, I don't share the big stuff except with a select few. There are big time issues and fears that are a constant reminder that nothing is ever what it seems. These weigh you down, so when life starts handing you the stupid shit that should be shoved aside and laughed off, you just feel yourself dragged down deeper, especially when fluctuating hormones rear their ugly head.
It's easy for me to sweat the small stuff. Easier to share it. I'll complain about my TV shows, my job, driving my car into a railing like a moron. I'll beat myself up, share my doubts, my neuroses and my failings. It's always been easier than tooting my own horn. I am often my own worst promoter.
That said, I don't share the big stuff except with a select few. There are big time issues and fears that are a constant reminder that nothing is ever what it seems. These weigh you down, so when life starts handing you the stupid shit that should be shoved aside and laughed off, you just feel yourself dragged down deeper, especially when fluctuating hormones rear their ugly head.