FML
Yep, that covers it nicely. Fuck My Life.
Logan and I are fighting. Again. Or we were. Are. I don't know. Things have been going downhill for a while now.. Pretty much since Eric came home, awful as that sounds.. But things have really hit the fan the last 2 months, or so. A few days ago, we kinda decided some time apart would be good for us, since we are together all the time.. But he was supposed to come see me today, since he'll be gone racing all weekend, and I'm leaving Sunday just before he gets back, and I'll be gone for a week or so. This morning I texted him to ask when he'd be over.. he sends back that "he can't come, he has to wash his dad's race car." Now, folks, from personal experiance, it only takes a few hours, TOPS, to wash a car. Thats wash, wax, the whole shebang. His next excuse? "We have to take the trailor to the race track, and I have to be back there at 6 am tomorrow." Hey, there is this lovely thing called the internet- the gates at the track? They don't even open till 7am. And it takes one person to drive the trailor. One. And that one person isn't my bf, cause his gramps only lets his dad do it. And, he used to come out here after college and stay till 11 or midnight, then leave.. hell. he even used to get up at 5am and go straight to college from here. Why couldn't he bother to come out for a few hours at least?
So I wrote him this big long thing on myspace, telling him how I felt... then called him to ask him to read it. He said he couldn't, since he wasn't near a computer. He could tell i'd been crying and he told me just to tell him what was wrong. I told him I didn't want to get into over the phone, but he kept asking me to tell him. Thats when I started crying.. and I told him that I feel unimportant, that he doesn't care about my feelings, or put me first anymore. and he said this big thing about how "thats not true," and its "not that he doesn't want to come out, its that he can't" and more BS. He said that "if he got done in time, he'd come out."
and I told him that I was sick of Eric being with us all the time. I said that I wasn't dating Eric, and i don't always want him with us. that he is a great friend and a good guy, but somtimes i just want my boyfriend to do things with me, that i don't want eric to always be there. I told him that our friend Josh is upset with him, too, cause ever since Eric got back, he has been ignoring josh. He never calls or hangs out with josh..and i told him that i know he's best friends with Eric, and that i dont mean to come between them, but that he needs to remember he has a girlfriend and another best friend who deserve some of his time without having to beg for it.
Then we both got pretty quiet... He kept saying he "didn't know why I felt like I wasn't important." and yada yada.. But w/e.
I'm going to Kent this weekend, I can't wait. I desperately need to see my best friend.
Logan and I are fighting. Again. Or we were. Are. I don't know. Things have been going downhill for a while now.. Pretty much since Eric came home, awful as that sounds.. But things have really hit the fan the last 2 months, or so. A few days ago, we kinda decided some time apart would be good for us, since we are together all the time.. But he was supposed to come see me today, since he'll be gone racing all weekend, and I'm leaving Sunday just before he gets back, and I'll be gone for a week or so. This morning I texted him to ask when he'd be over.. he sends back that "he can't come, he has to wash his dad's race car." Now, folks, from personal experiance, it only takes a few hours, TOPS, to wash a car. Thats wash, wax, the whole shebang. His next excuse? "We have to take the trailor to the race track, and I have to be back there at 6 am tomorrow." Hey, there is this lovely thing called the internet- the gates at the track? They don't even open till 7am. And it takes one person to drive the trailor. One. And that one person isn't my bf, cause his gramps only lets his dad do it. And, he used to come out here after college and stay till 11 or midnight, then leave.. hell. he even used to get up at 5am and go straight to college from here. Why couldn't he bother to come out for a few hours at least?
So I wrote him this big long thing on myspace, telling him how I felt... then called him to ask him to read it. He said he couldn't, since he wasn't near a computer. He could tell i'd been crying and he told me just to tell him what was wrong. I told him I didn't want to get into over the phone, but he kept asking me to tell him. Thats when I started crying.. and I told him that I feel unimportant, that he doesn't care about my feelings, or put me first anymore. and he said this big thing about how "thats not true," and its "not that he doesn't want to come out, its that he can't" and more BS. He said that "if he got done in time, he'd come out."
and I told him that I was sick of Eric being with us all the time. I said that I wasn't dating Eric, and i don't always want him with us. that he is a great friend and a good guy, but somtimes i just want my boyfriend to do things with me, that i don't want eric to always be there. I told him that our friend Josh is upset with him, too, cause ever since Eric got back, he has been ignoring josh. He never calls or hangs out with josh..and i told him that i know he's best friends with Eric, and that i dont mean to come between them, but that he needs to remember he has a girlfriend and another best friend who deserve some of his time without having to beg for it.
Then we both got pretty quiet... He kept saying he "didn't know why I felt like I wasn't important." and yada yada.. But w/e.
I'm going to Kent this weekend, I can't wait. I desperately need to see my best friend.