FIC: "Catholic Guilt", Rey Curtis/Tony Profaci
Title: Catholic Guilt
Author: hawkeyecat
Fandom: Law & Order
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Curtis/Profaci (Never again…)
Theme: G is for Gravity, a grave consequence; seriousness or importance.
Length: 941
Author's Note: Angsty to make up for the sap that was “An Evening Frozen In Time”. Thanks, once again, to sarcasticsra for the beta.
As Rey Curtis pulled away from his bedmate, the import of what just happened hit him through his alcohol-induced haze, and he turned, cursing himself. Behind him, and wholly unaware of his thoughts, Profaci grinned.
“Curtis, that was…”
Rey began pulling on his clothes. What was Deborah going to say? How would she react? Bad enough he’d just cheated on her-but with a coworker, and a male coworker at that? Behind him, Profaci was still talking.
“…understand if you don’t want it to happen again.”
Rey twisted around and glared angrily at the shorter man. He wasn’t even attractive, a small part of his mind whispered; short and fat and balding, Profaci was no match for Rey’s height and good looks. If he had to do it, why not a young beat cop, or even Jack McCoy? Suppressing those thoughts, he snarled, “Of course it won’t happen again. I screwed up, and now my wife’s gonna kill me.”
“You’re going to tell Deborah?” Profaci asked, frowning.
“After I go to Confession, yeah. You thought I’d keep it a secret from her?”
“I…”
“It was fun, but it won’t happen again.”
“Sure, whatever,” Profaci replied, still frowning.
Rey tied his shoes and got up from the cheap motel mattress. At the desk downstairs, he paid for the two hours they had spent there. The young woman checked him out as she charged him, ignoring the wedding band he made sure to flash as he handed her the cash. He couldn’t blame her-why would he have been there with his wife?
Outside, he got his bearings and realized he was too far from his church to walk. Rey hailed a cab and sat silently in back, turning what he’d done over and over in his mind. He’d broken the seventh commandment-“Thou shall not commit adultery”-and his sin was compounded by lying with a man.
At La Madre de Díos, the priest was replenishing the candles. Rey genuflected before the altar, then approached the man.
“Padre.”
“Ah, Detective Curtis! What can I do for you?” Father Miguel was terminally cheerful, and a relatively young priest. Perhaps he could understand what had happened.
“Will you hear my confession, Father?”
The priest sobered at once at the request and more formal title, though his eyes were still filled with good humor. “Certainly, my son.”
In the confessional, Rey knelt and crossed himself again. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been ten days since my last confession.” He hesitated, unsure of how to continue.
“Go on,” Father Miguel urged him quietly.
“I…I have broken the seventh commandment,” he admitted, the words tumbling over each other. The priest waited for him to continue.
“I just came from there. When I realized what I’d done, I was so ashamed…”
“Did you know the girl?”
“It-it wasn’t a woman, Father. It was a man I work with, a desk cop.”
There was a long moment of silence, then, “Please continue.”
“We got off early today-started early, too. I just wanted to relax before I went home, so some of us went out for drinks. Profaci and I were the only two left after about an hour, and he suggested we go out for a walk, clear our heads before heading home. We walked for a while, and suddenly, he was kissing me, and Díos mio, I enjoyed it! I kissed him back, and we went to a motel, where…”
Father Miguel interrupted. “I get the idea. What are you going to tell your wife?”
“The truth, God help me.”
“He will if you make the effort,” Father Miguel said quietly, then set him his penance and told him to come back if he needed to talk after telling Deborah.
The girls were asleep when he got home, and Deborah was washing dishes, her arms trembling slightly.
“I’ll do those, babe. Go sit down.”
She smiled at him gratefully and sank into a chair at the kitchen table. He only half-listened as she told him about the girls’ day at school and their latest accomplishments. After he’d dried and put away the last of the plates, he pulled out a chair across the table from her.
He watched the happiness in her eyes die as he told her, her jaw set, a fire of emotional pain consume even her physical hurts. When he was done, she stared at her hands as she said she was taking the girls to her sister’s the next day, and that he could sleep on the couch that night. He’d expected her anger and hurt, but not this, not for her to leave. He begged and pleaded, apologized over and over, but her mind was made up.
He was snappish with Lennie the next day, and grabbed a potential suspect, throwing the man into a wall of the interrogation room, his first real act of police brutality. Van Buren pulled him out of the room and left the guy to stew, and Lennie cornered him in the observation room. He told Lennie Deborah had left because he had an affair, a one-time thing with a girl he met in the park, and that he’d told Deborah.
Lennie sighed, and his shoulders sagged. “Your second mistake.”
No, Rey wanted to shout, my hundredth, my thousandth, because I shouldn’t have gone for drinks, shouldn’t have gone for a walk, shouldn’t have kissed Profaci back, shouldn’t have gotten that room…shouldn’t have fucked him. Telling Deborah was one of the only things he’d done right.
So why was he still stealing hungry glances at Profaci across the squad room, wanting more?
Author: hawkeyecat
Fandom: Law & Order
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Curtis/Profaci (Never again…)
Theme: G is for Gravity, a grave consequence; seriousness or importance.
Length: 941
Author's Note: Angsty to make up for the sap that was “An Evening Frozen In Time”. Thanks, once again, to sarcasticsra for the beta.
As Rey Curtis pulled away from his bedmate, the import of what just happened hit him through his alcohol-induced haze, and he turned, cursing himself. Behind him, and wholly unaware of his thoughts, Profaci grinned.
“Curtis, that was…”
Rey began pulling on his clothes. What was Deborah going to say? How would she react? Bad enough he’d just cheated on her-but with a coworker, and a male coworker at that? Behind him, Profaci was still talking.
“…understand if you don’t want it to happen again.”
Rey twisted around and glared angrily at the shorter man. He wasn’t even attractive, a small part of his mind whispered; short and fat and balding, Profaci was no match for Rey’s height and good looks. If he had to do it, why not a young beat cop, or even Jack McCoy? Suppressing those thoughts, he snarled, “Of course it won’t happen again. I screwed up, and now my wife’s gonna kill me.”
“You’re going to tell Deborah?” Profaci asked, frowning.
“After I go to Confession, yeah. You thought I’d keep it a secret from her?”
“I…”
“It was fun, but it won’t happen again.”
“Sure, whatever,” Profaci replied, still frowning.
Rey tied his shoes and got up from the cheap motel mattress. At the desk downstairs, he paid for the two hours they had spent there. The young woman checked him out as she charged him, ignoring the wedding band he made sure to flash as he handed her the cash. He couldn’t blame her-why would he have been there with his wife?
Outside, he got his bearings and realized he was too far from his church to walk. Rey hailed a cab and sat silently in back, turning what he’d done over and over in his mind. He’d broken the seventh commandment-“Thou shall not commit adultery”-and his sin was compounded by lying with a man.
At La Madre de Díos, the priest was replenishing the candles. Rey genuflected before the altar, then approached the man.
“Padre.”
“Ah, Detective Curtis! What can I do for you?” Father Miguel was terminally cheerful, and a relatively young priest. Perhaps he could understand what had happened.
“Will you hear my confession, Father?”
The priest sobered at once at the request and more formal title, though his eyes were still filled with good humor. “Certainly, my son.”
In the confessional, Rey knelt and crossed himself again. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been ten days since my last confession.” He hesitated, unsure of how to continue.
“Go on,” Father Miguel urged him quietly.
“I…I have broken the seventh commandment,” he admitted, the words tumbling over each other. The priest waited for him to continue.
“I just came from there. When I realized what I’d done, I was so ashamed…”
“Did you know the girl?”
“It-it wasn’t a woman, Father. It was a man I work with, a desk cop.”
There was a long moment of silence, then, “Please continue.”
“We got off early today-started early, too. I just wanted to relax before I went home, so some of us went out for drinks. Profaci and I were the only two left after about an hour, and he suggested we go out for a walk, clear our heads before heading home. We walked for a while, and suddenly, he was kissing me, and Díos mio, I enjoyed it! I kissed him back, and we went to a motel, where…”
Father Miguel interrupted. “I get the idea. What are you going to tell your wife?”
“The truth, God help me.”
“He will if you make the effort,” Father Miguel said quietly, then set him his penance and told him to come back if he needed to talk after telling Deborah.
The girls were asleep when he got home, and Deborah was washing dishes, her arms trembling slightly.
“I’ll do those, babe. Go sit down.”
She smiled at him gratefully and sank into a chair at the kitchen table. He only half-listened as she told him about the girls’ day at school and their latest accomplishments. After he’d dried and put away the last of the plates, he pulled out a chair across the table from her.
He watched the happiness in her eyes die as he told her, her jaw set, a fire of emotional pain consume even her physical hurts. When he was done, she stared at her hands as she said she was taking the girls to her sister’s the next day, and that he could sleep on the couch that night. He’d expected her anger and hurt, but not this, not for her to leave. He begged and pleaded, apologized over and over, but her mind was made up.
He was snappish with Lennie the next day, and grabbed a potential suspect, throwing the man into a wall of the interrogation room, his first real act of police brutality. Van Buren pulled him out of the room and left the guy to stew, and Lennie cornered him in the observation room. He told Lennie Deborah had left because he had an affair, a one-time thing with a girl he met in the park, and that he’d told Deborah.
Lennie sighed, and his shoulders sagged. “Your second mistake.”
No, Rey wanted to shout, my hundredth, my thousandth, because I shouldn’t have gone for drinks, shouldn’t have gone for a walk, shouldn’t have kissed Profaci back, shouldn’t have gotten that room…shouldn’t have fucked him. Telling Deborah was one of the only things he’d done right.
So why was he still stealing hungry glances at Profaci across the squad room, wanting more?