I went to get a haircut.
I pick the strangest places to start ruminating on our existence. Take hair-oriented professionals for instance. Almost everyone has to visit one at least a few times in their life. Whether it's a barber (usually for males) or a hairdresser (usually for women), unless you were born with some strange condition that keeps you from growing hair you are likely to have visited one of these folks.
They have a laundry list of skills. They can shape, style, dye, or any number of things.
I, however, chronically under use their skills and simply get my hair cut. That got me to thinking how things have changed, and yet not changed, over the forty some years I've been getting haircuts on my own.
Firstly, and this is a new phenomenon, is that when asked '"How do you want your hair," the most common expected response is something like "6 on top, 2 on the sides." or something like that. The numbers refer to the accessory used on the electric hair trimmer. The larger the number, the longer the hair. To me, it seems a remarkably ... cold way of getting your hair done. Like it lacks a human touch. Like it lacks any nuance. No. Simply a cold equation. A frigid calculus of size.
Secondly, and this is not a new phenomenon, is that I have very similar experiences going to specific types of barbers.
And by specific types, I mean... *gulp* - the ... race of the barber.
I know, I know. Hear me out. I promise, this isn't an out of control screech. Its just something I notice. Call it a stereotype, if you must. It just seems incredibly consistent.
My favorite barbers are the Vietnamese. And, it seems, when I go to a barber of Asian descent, they seem to always be Vietnamese. Their command of English is generally low, and what they have is accented so strongly that I can catch maybe 1 word out of 10. Yet, that is a blessing. For you see, after giving them their numeric instruction, they cut my hair in blissful silence. Why is this important? Why, dear reader, please continue to read my missive.
My second favorite barbers are Hispanic. Almost always Mexican, they are very similar to the Vietnamese barbers. Their command of English tends to be a bit better, and their accent not as strong, yet still they struggle. Unfortunately for me, I have the misfortune of understanding and speaking fluent Spanish. This means that I get a lot of small talk from a Hispanic barber. Not too bad though. The small talk tends to be about pleasant things. Family, food, and the like. Relatable things.
My least favorite barbers are white men. They are Chatty Kathys. Like it's a rule that says that they must do small talk or else they are rude, they begin a long session of conversation. That wouldn't be so bad, except the topics are almost universally problematic. The first topic is sports. It's a god given rule that assumes all men must know all things about all sports. This is something I, sadly, fail terribly at, so I must stumble through the conversation trying to avoid looking ignorant. This is a big fail for me.
Still, sports is a preferred topic compared to the other favored topic: politics and complaining incessantly about minor things. Since you, the customer, are in a chair while someone waves sharp instruments around, you are in a bit of a disadvantage while hearing the screech of negativity. Certainly, arguments at this point in time are not the best of ideas.
And yet still this is a better topic than the other topic: outright racism. Whether its about 'those people' who are robbing stores, or how you can't trust the Japanese... (Yes, there is a barber here who apparently still lives during WWII), you can have diatribe about people who aren't like them.
And yet here I am, writing about barbers and race, critiquing them while being completely hypocritical about talking about race.
Honestly, I'd rather just have my hair cut in silence. I'd get in less trouble for sure.
* As for black barbers, I've never been to one, as they seem to be a specialized sort whose skills better suit a particular client - ie, one more stylish and picky than I am, or requires a particular heritage haircut, so to speak.