why am i so slow?

[ruthinator]

why am i so slow at getting over boys...i don't physically cry anymore but when i think about him i get really really sad and then start to think about all the times we shared and how much he made me laugh etc. i hate this...last night i almost cried again for the first time in a few weeks. I really wish i had someone new so i can put all of this sadness behind me....i think for the most part i have all of this built up sad and bitter is because of the way it ended!...by stop talking to me all of a sudden sucks because there are no feelings that i can get out...i want to just call him and get these feelings off my chest...he would probably ignore my call but all of these feelings i have just build up and cause me to never get over things, i feel the tears welling up inside my eyes right now as i type this!...i know he will never read this but i can't help but miss him i know that what he did to me was crappy and i shouldn't think about him at all but he seems to be all i am thinking about...and i can't seem to stop....i think about how cute he is and how funny he is etc. then i cry!....it sucks i want to find someone new but it seems that no one is attracted to who i am..which says alot about my personality!...gosh it doesn't help that apparently my personality bites!....yeah!...haha i just want to get over my feelings and enjoy life and be happy like i was a while ago!...

my broken heart needs healing!

sorry for another annoying boyfriendless Ruth entry!...but i had to get this out!

<3