"Obviously, someone in this situation is completely confused."
Amazing find: the full text and pictures for The Recently Deflowered Girl, by Edward Gorey. (warning: pdf document)
"For nearly half a century Miss Hyacinthe Phypps has been offering guidance on proper behavior. Her simple rules of propriety and common sense have helped a generation of girls over the threshold to womanhood. Recognizing the need that still prevails today, Miss Phypps has been kind enough to put between the covers of this book her words of advice that have been so valuable in so many typical situations. It is the editors' fondest hope that this book will serve the current generation of young ladies as it served their mothers."
Hilarity ensues.
Deflowered by Marimba Player
After being deflowered, you discover that your parents refuse to give consent to marriage with mustachioed marimba player.
You are prevented from arranging another rendezvous, but you see him by chance at Junior League charity tea dance. He is playing in rhumba band. At intermission, you meet.
You say, "I'm terribly sorry, Harold, but my parents won't let me marry you."
He says, "That's all right, baby. I've been happily married for years."
You say: "How did your wife get her parents' consent?"
Your main difficulty apparently is in getting the consent of your parents. It is wise to learn how other girls get theirs. -- Miss H. P.
"For nearly half a century Miss Hyacinthe Phypps has been offering guidance on proper behavior. Her simple rules of propriety and common sense have helped a generation of girls over the threshold to womanhood. Recognizing the need that still prevails today, Miss Phypps has been kind enough to put between the covers of this book her words of advice that have been so valuable in so many typical situations. It is the editors' fondest hope that this book will serve the current generation of young ladies as it served their mothers."
Hilarity ensues.
Deflowered by Marimba Player
After being deflowered, you discover that your parents refuse to give consent to marriage with mustachioed marimba player.
You are prevented from arranging another rendezvous, but you see him by chance at Junior League charity tea dance. He is playing in rhumba band. At intermission, you meet.
You say, "I'm terribly sorry, Harold, but my parents won't let me marry you."
He says, "That's all right, baby. I've been happily married for years."
You say: "How did your wife get her parents' consent?"
Your main difficulty apparently is in getting the consent of your parents. It is wise to learn how other girls get theirs. -- Miss H. P.