Just to start it out
its truely amazing how much one weekand can make u grow up so much, and make u realize a lot of what you never knew. The seacrets in which family with hold from you make it impossibe to know the real you. make it unrealistic to know who has your back in ur family, and who doesnt. The people u thought where the enemy, really had ur back the whole time. and the ppl that u thought loved you, well they had a change of pace as well as a change in personality. I found out the hard way.... again. I just wish that my family would just go back to how it once was...... or how i remember it beaing. No more fighting no more yelling on he said he did.... just go back when we all where laughing at christmas.... why cant it be like that anymore? I guess this is an example that noone is perfect, so what now? i really dont know. I know what i might do in that fact. All eyes open... all hearts open for those who diserve it. idk i know once i think that i have all of this figured out something else will catch me off gaurd and bit me right in the ass. Now that i have that intention ill keep my eyes open.
For once in my life ill try and take my own advice that i willingly dish-out to those who ask for help.... i think maybe now i could use some of my own help. "self medication" is that what they call it? Today was just a really great day. My mom and i are finally on good terms again. I kinda forgot how much i miss her, and that even though she can get under my skin constantly i love her so much and i enjoy having someone who knows me and my past so well..... she really is my history. Josh and i are hanging out a lot more now, it's alot of fun, and im just glad that im with him. He's always there when all of my shit happneds. hes always there with open arms. I really do know that he is my future. Mandi and Tyler are such great ppl. ugh lol in tylers choice of words "their both dears". im really lucky. and maybe sometimes the bad things are good to have in ur life. maybe those "bad" things are the things that make and shape who we are today. maybe the bottom falling down isnt such a bad thing after all. maybe thats something all of us should think about once in awhile. count everything and if u have 5 fingers holding those wonderful things.... maybe life isnt so bad after all right?
peace love and crabs
TaMmY
I love u josh <3
For once in my life ill try and take my own advice that i willingly dish-out to those who ask for help.... i think maybe now i could use some of my own help. "self medication" is that what they call it? Today was just a really great day. My mom and i are finally on good terms again. I kinda forgot how much i miss her, and that even though she can get under my skin constantly i love her so much and i enjoy having someone who knows me and my past so well..... she really is my history. Josh and i are hanging out a lot more now, it's alot of fun, and im just glad that im with him. He's always there when all of my shit happneds. hes always there with open arms. I really do know that he is my future. Mandi and Tyler are such great ppl. ugh lol in tylers choice of words "their both dears". im really lucky. and maybe sometimes the bad things are good to have in ur life. maybe those "bad" things are the things that make and shape who we are today. maybe the bottom falling down isnt such a bad thing after all. maybe thats something all of us should think about once in awhile. count everything and if u have 5 fingers holding those wonderful things.... maybe life isnt so bad after all right?
peace love and crabs
TaMmY
I love u josh <3