Another Blinkin' ISBI 2.2
Start - Archive
No? Motorhomb? Grotopomb? Forget it. Last time:
- Waxwing was born.
- Armando continued his severely misguided quest for acceptance.
- Befuddling got to her LTW.
- Armando started fires and ignored babies.
- Chickadee got a stalker.
- Wren and Jay were born.
- All of the kids had birthdays.
- Jay and Wren began planning their escape.
- Armando got fired for really bad karaoke.
Sorry, it starts off with some dark-ish pictures, I know. They get better. Besides, even if they didn't, you could suffer them for a short-ish update.
Waxwing: Hiya, Dad! Didja bring me anything?
Armando: *strongface* No... sweetie... and don't look up.
Armando: This is unfair and unjust! I mean, how was I supposed to know that tasteless idiot didn't like Bill Cameron?
Bef: Honey, it's all right. Come in. Be with the kids. Enjoy home life.
Armando: I should've streaked across the living room.
Bef: ...I'm... not even going to ask.
Armando: No, I mean it! At least then, I would have had the satisfaction of being able to wave my wang in that little shit's face as they dragged me out!
Bef: Honey, go inside.
Armando: You're right. I should -
Bell: SUP GIRL THEY RAN OUT OF VERMOUTH DOWN THERE
Bef: OH SHIT
Armando: ...what did I do?
Waxwing: Mom! MOM! I FOUND IT! Plasmeon-8, just where you said it was! Can we go there and meet your family someday? ...Mom?
Bef: DAMMIT YOU WERE IN THE ROOM WHY WOULD YOU FLUSH WHILE I'M IN THE SHOWER
Armando: Wait, when was the last time I even had spinach?
Paternity. There are no questions of it.
From the abnormal psychology textbook I'm using as a mousepad right now, I think I can theorize on Chickadee having more of a communication disorder than a mood disorder like bipolar, perhaps also with a touch of histrionic/narcissistic personality disorder. Or maybe bitch just be cray-cray.
But then she's adorably precocious and no one cares.
Bus Driver: Howdy, kiddo! Ready for your fist day?
Jay: Uhm...
Chickadee: It's okay, bro, I'm right behind you.
Phil: This toilet is in the way of the toilet! HOW CAN I GET TO THE TOILET IF I CAN'T GET BY THE TOILET??
Bef: Boi, you don't have to get anywhere.
ACR: *takes the helm*
And I let it, because despite being jobless and home...
...I don't think Armando is gonna care too much.
When he does wake up, it's like ACR... knows. Phil lays off and has food, not caring that his lover is accepting the advances of another man not four feet away.
Chickadee: ...I feel dumb.
Chickadee: I FEEL DUMB FML AND FM GARBAGE CAN
*BOIOIOIOIOUNG*
Wut?
...oh.
Armando: YOUUU HARLOT! *violence*
Phil: *approves*
Armando: Hey, it's nice to meet someone new! (+1000)
Phil: *immediately goes back to macking on his wife*
Armando: WAIT NO D8<
Bef: *enjoys herself muchly*
Bef: Armando, wait, about earlier...
Armando: Oh?
Bef: I CAN'T DO THIS! I can't live married to a man who hit me for kissing the father of one of my children!
Armando: WAIT WTF NO
Bef: I'm keeping all your money despite the fact that any real court would give you the kids and the house and everything given that I'm in the wrong!
Bef: NOW GIT YO ASS OUT.
Armando: NO BUT BUT -
Bef: The window. GO TO IT. GET OUT.
Yeah, I couldn't go for another several Sim days of them fuming at each other. I am an ass and I don't know why I did this.
Bef: Oh God... I'm... I've done something terrible... Someone hold me... Phil?
Phil: I only came for poon. I'm not in for any of this emotional support shit.
Bef: ... *sob*
She gets to take out her troubles on roaches and ends up feeling much better.
Waxwing is a teen! With a terrible transition outfit. That bumpmap is eye-burning.
Much better, albeit with slightly glitchy hair and...
Er.
I'll have to fix those eyes, won't I?
Waxwing: Wait, wait, I've got it! The current crisis stems from mortgages designed to fail that were marketed to vulnerable consumers, right? So if we get rid of the vulnerable consumers... yeah! We need to improve education! Make basic financial principles a part of secondary education, at least! It'll solve some of the problems, right?
Everyone else: *is asleep*
Well, maybe if you had any idea how to take a shower and watch some TV, you'd be a bit happier... and not as close to failing horribly.
Pleasure Sim? Why, yes.
Both long-suffering and adorable. We're really building that Future Torch-Holder resume, aren't we, kids?
Bef and Waxwing: God, look at her. Doesn't she understand the importance of maintaining this family's dignity?
Now that Armando is gone, all the kids are at school and she's racked up 93745162 vacation days, this is essentially Bef's life.
Waxwing: Oh f - What the hell was - I didn't even know that was a fetish! DDD8
CRAP.
Why? I thought the lowest grade in the house was Wren with a D, and... oh.
Social Worker: Your children's failure is entirely your fault! You should have grabbed them and forced them to do homework when you had the chance! Shame!
Waxwing: *HEEEADTIIILT*
Dammit, Jay, you're not helping.
So sad... reminds me of this, a little bit.
Sure, Waxwing. You can try and drink it all away. But you can't. You'll only feel it more and more with each passing drink: the guilt, the shame. The sorrow. You'll ask the stupid questions and you won't be able to get them out of your head. You're only making it worse.
[/depressive episode and hangover]
Bef: Honey, please tell me you never told your father about Plasmeon-8, did you? Just in case?
Waxwing: ...
Bef: Nodda problem. We can always find a new planet t' settle on, righ'?
Wax: Yesh, totally.
They just might have been raised by Armando.
Bef: Does that earn you money? No? Then I don't care.
And after several boring Sim days, I used Chickadee and Waxwing's commands to get them their scholarships, then sent them off to college!
What zany adventures await them? Sex? Drugs? Even more alcohol? Find out next time on Another Blinkin' ISBI!
ISBI Stats:
Torch Holders: 1/20
Perma-platinum Sims: 1
Shrink Visits: 1
Social Bunny Visits: 1
Social Worker Visits: 1
Repo Man Visits: 0
Fires: 1
Self-Wettings: 3
Pass-Outs: 1
Fights: 0
Deaths: 0
Golden Tombstones/Death Count: 0/0
Max Career: 1
§100 000: 0
A'ight, this be the last update before I head out into the wilderness for SCIENCE! for two weeks! But don't worry, I'll be around tomorrow. Otherwise, see you after May 6th!
No? Motorhomb? Grotopomb? Forget it. Last time:
- Waxwing was born.
- Armando continued his severely misguided quest for acceptance.
- Befuddling got to her LTW.
- Armando started fires and ignored babies.
- Chickadee got a stalker.
- Wren and Jay were born.
- All of the kids had birthdays.
- Jay and Wren began planning their escape.
- Armando got fired for really bad karaoke.
Sorry, it starts off with some dark-ish pictures, I know. They get better. Besides, even if they didn't, you could suffer them for a short-ish update.
Waxwing: Hiya, Dad! Didja bring me anything?
Armando: *strongface* No... sweetie... and don't look up.
Armando: This is unfair and unjust! I mean, how was I supposed to know that tasteless idiot didn't like Bill Cameron?
Bef: Honey, it's all right. Come in. Be with the kids. Enjoy home life.
Armando: I should've streaked across the living room.
Bef: ...I'm... not even going to ask.
Armando: No, I mean it! At least then, I would have had the satisfaction of being able to wave my wang in that little shit's face as they dragged me out!
Bef: Honey, go inside.
Armando: You're right. I should -
Bell: SUP GIRL THEY RAN OUT OF VERMOUTH DOWN THERE
Bef: OH SHIT
Armando: ...what did I do?
Waxwing: Mom! MOM! I FOUND IT! Plasmeon-8, just where you said it was! Can we go there and meet your family someday? ...Mom?
Bef: DAMMIT YOU WERE IN THE ROOM WHY WOULD YOU FLUSH WHILE I'M IN THE SHOWER
Armando: Wait, when was the last time I even had spinach?
Paternity. There are no questions of it.
From the abnormal psychology textbook I'm using as a mousepad right now, I think I can theorize on Chickadee having more of a communication disorder than a mood disorder like bipolar, perhaps also with a touch of histrionic/narcissistic personality disorder. Or maybe bitch just be cray-cray.
But then she's adorably precocious and no one cares.
Bus Driver: Howdy, kiddo! Ready for your fist day?
Jay: Uhm...
Chickadee: It's okay, bro, I'm right behind you.
Phil: This toilet is in the way of the toilet! HOW CAN I GET TO THE TOILET IF I CAN'T GET BY THE TOILET??
Bef: Boi, you don't have to get anywhere.
ACR: *takes the helm*
And I let it, because despite being jobless and home...
...I don't think Armando is gonna care too much.
When he does wake up, it's like ACR... knows. Phil lays off and has food, not caring that his lover is accepting the advances of another man not four feet away.
Chickadee: ...I feel dumb.
Chickadee: I FEEL DUMB FML AND FM GARBAGE CAN
*BOIOIOIOIOUNG*
Wut?
...oh.
Armando: YOUUU HARLOT! *violence*
Phil: *approves*
Armando: Hey, it's nice to meet someone new! (+1000)
Phil: *immediately goes back to macking on his wife*
Armando: WAIT NO D8<
Bef: *enjoys herself muchly*
Bef: Armando, wait, about earlier...
Armando: Oh?
Bef: I CAN'T DO THIS! I can't live married to a man who hit me for kissing the father of one of my children!
Armando: WAIT WTF NO
Bef: I'm keeping all your money despite the fact that any real court would give you the kids and the house and everything given that I'm in the wrong!
Bef: NOW GIT YO ASS OUT.
Armando: NO BUT BUT -
Bef: The window. GO TO IT. GET OUT.
Yeah, I couldn't go for another several Sim days of them fuming at each other. I am an ass and I don't know why I did this.
Bef: Oh God... I'm... I've done something terrible... Someone hold me... Phil?
Phil: I only came for poon. I'm not in for any of this emotional support shit.
Bef: ... *sob*
She gets to take out her troubles on roaches and ends up feeling much better.
Waxwing is a teen! With a terrible transition outfit. That bumpmap is eye-burning.
Much better, albeit with slightly glitchy hair and...
Er.
I'll have to fix those eyes, won't I?
Waxwing: Wait, wait, I've got it! The current crisis stems from mortgages designed to fail that were marketed to vulnerable consumers, right? So if we get rid of the vulnerable consumers... yeah! We need to improve education! Make basic financial principles a part of secondary education, at least! It'll solve some of the problems, right?
Everyone else: *is asleep*
Well, maybe if you had any idea how to take a shower and watch some TV, you'd be a bit happier... and not as close to failing horribly.
Pleasure Sim? Why, yes.
Both long-suffering and adorable. We're really building that Future Torch-Holder resume, aren't we, kids?
Bef and Waxwing: God, look at her. Doesn't she understand the importance of maintaining this family's dignity?
Now that Armando is gone, all the kids are at school and she's racked up 93745162 vacation days, this is essentially Bef's life.
Waxwing: Oh f - What the hell was - I didn't even know that was a fetish! DDD8
CRAP.
Why? I thought the lowest grade in the house was Wren with a D, and... oh.
Social Worker: Your children's failure is entirely your fault! You should have grabbed them and forced them to do homework when you had the chance! Shame!
Waxwing: *HEEEADTIIILT*
Dammit, Jay, you're not helping.
So sad... reminds me of this, a little bit.
Sure, Waxwing. You can try and drink it all away. But you can't. You'll only feel it more and more with each passing drink: the guilt, the shame. The sorrow. You'll ask the stupid questions and you won't be able to get them out of your head. You're only making it worse.
[/depressive episode and hangover]
Bef: Honey, please tell me you never told your father about Plasmeon-8, did you? Just in case?
Waxwing: ...
Bef: Nodda problem. We can always find a new planet t' settle on, righ'?
Wax: Yesh, totally.
They just might have been raised by Armando.
Bef: Does that earn you money? No? Then I don't care.
And after several boring Sim days, I used Chickadee and Waxwing's commands to get them their scholarships, then sent them off to college!
What zany adventures await them? Sex? Drugs? Even more alcohol? Find out next time on Another Blinkin' ISBI!
ISBI Stats:
Torch Holders: 1/20
Perma-platinum Sims: 1
Shrink Visits: 1
Social Bunny Visits: 1
Social Worker Visits: 1
Repo Man Visits: 0
Fires: 1
Self-Wettings: 3
Pass-Outs: 1
Fights: 0
Deaths: 0
Golden Tombstones/Death Count: 0/0
Max Career: 1
§100 000: 0
A'ight, this be the last update before I head out into the wilderness for SCIENCE! for two weeks! But don't worry, I'll be around tomorrow. Otherwise, see you after May 6th!