(no subject)
I don't care how humane they make " putting to sleep " sound, they still killed her. and I let them. I guess I shouldn't be sad for her anymore though, if she was suffering ... she isn't now. everytime I do it though, I wish I had them back after it's done and over with. I didn't even go with. I just stayed back and bawled like a little baby. I was ready to yank away the shoe box and put her back in her cage or to run out there and open the box one more time just to see her again.
I held her yesterday, and I still have the scratch marks of her little finger nails. three of them in a row. I'd be happy if it left a scar. so I don't care what people think, just cause she's a rat. it hurts just as much to lose her. someone you see every day for more then a year, and have them gone just like that. I could have fucking brought her in when I spotted it, and have it cut off. I she could have lived longer, and suffered less. but I was greedy and didn't want to pay the money. all three times I had to be greedy. and then mom does that, she feels bad for me. like a fish will make me feel better. she wants to buy me a fish. and then she names it some queermo name like " lemon " psh.
I held her yesterday, and I still have the scratch marks of her little finger nails. three of them in a row. I'd be happy if it left a scar. so I don't care what people think, just cause she's a rat. it hurts just as much to lose her. someone you see every day for more then a year, and have them gone just like that. I could have fucking brought her in when I spotted it, and have it cut off. I she could have lived longer, and suffered less. but I was greedy and didn't want to pay the money. all three times I had to be greedy. and then mom does that, she feels bad for me. like a fish will make me feel better. she wants to buy me a fish. and then she names it some queermo name like " lemon " psh.