Perspective
I recently quoted this interview with Dan Gottlieb elsewhere on a different subject, but here's something else I found memorable. Dr. Gottlieb is a clinical psychologist who is in a wheelchair, a quadriplegic. The interviewer asked him if his therapy patients ever feel hesitant to share their problems with him because they assume his are worse. He said yes, sometimes, and told a story about one of them. The man was elderly and obese and had bad knees; Dr. Gottlieb watched him struggling to get up out of his chair. Finally the man was up, and he turned to Gottlieb and said, "I probably shouldn't say this, but as hard as this is for me, I look at you and think, 'At least I can get out of my chair.'" Gottlieb replied, "You know, I was just looking at you and thinking, 'Man, I'm glad I don't have to go through that when I'm older!'" And they shared a laugh.
Gottlieb said to the interviewer, My position on this is that suffering is suffering. Quadriplegia is a fact. A history of child abuse is a fact. But suffering is suffering. I mean, if you're not able to sleep at night, you're suffering. I'm not suffering with quadriplegia. ...It's all a matter of perspective.
I felt like he was getting at how we have this idea that there's a hierarchy of suffering, that some pain is more worthy than other pain. But Gottlieb wasn't making those judgments. When you get down to it, it just is.
Gottlieb said to the interviewer, My position on this is that suffering is suffering. Quadriplegia is a fact. A history of child abuse is a fact. But suffering is suffering. I mean, if you're not able to sleep at night, you're suffering. I'm not suffering with quadriplegia. ...It's all a matter of perspective.
I felt like he was getting at how we have this idea that there's a hierarchy of suffering, that some pain is more worthy than other pain. But Gottlieb wasn't making those judgments. When you get down to it, it just is.