(no subject)
Yay.. after two weeks of being late I got my peroid, and it fucking hurts like hell. I'm refusing to take Midol, I know it works wonders, but I refuse to take medicine unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, I'm talking about dying or something. The only reason I take my gay ass fucking Trileptal that makes me think about suicide more than I ever have is because my boyfriend and parents force me to take it. It's gay, I hate being bi polar. Stupid genetics/bad past.
Anyways, I got to go shopping with my mom and thom today. He spent 250 and all he got was a watch, detroit earring, and some chocolates. HAHA!. I got two shirts, two pants, a teddy bear from hallmark. It's so fucking soft and cute! I got a big heart box of chocolates! And then I got some um.. personal things. lol. Oh! And I got little pink heart earrings, theyre hotter than hell, and I got a bracelet... this year turned out to be better.. even though I've been fighting with everyone today.
So I go to bed cuz I'm not feeling well right.. and thom always wakes me up for dinner.. so we get dinner.. something I totally refuse to eat cuz it's nastier than hell, and do they even wake me up to ask what I want or to eat dinner?? NO! They sit on their lazy fucking asses and say hey if you dont like what we buy than tough shit. I'm fucking sick of it. And then I ask for my computer time, and who the fuck is on it, Steve. This house fucking makes me sick. I hare every single fucking thing about it. I can't wait to leave. I hate everything about this place, and then when I get pissed off, I sit there and think hurt yourself. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I tell myself to pour boiling water on my hand when it's just starting to heal from the last burn ((which actually was an accident at work believe it or not. I AM TRYING TOO FUCKING HARD TO STAY ALIVE. I swear.. I'm tired of being treated like shit, I'm tired of being a fuck up and ruining everything I have going for me. I just want to fucking crawl into a hole and die, because life just isn't worth it most of the time for me anymore. It really isnt. Everything is getting on my nerves.. every little fucking thing.. and I'm so ready to walk up to Wendy's and sit there chatting with a whole bunch of nobodys because I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SITTING IN A HOUSE BY MY FUCKING SELF, BECAUSE PEOPLE DRIVE ME TO BE UNHAPPY. I swear.. I just can't handle this right now.
Jordan's stupid ass.. I call him on friday an hour before work to tell him that I can't come into work because my burns aren't healed, and he fucking hangs up the phone on me. FUCKING YUGOS. I'm going in there monday getting my check and then I'm gonna laugh at Jordan tell him to fuck off and that I quit. I'm done, fuck work. I'll find a job without racist fuckers who have no respect for people.
Well I'm really fucking pissed off right now.. but I think I'm gonna go be the positive fucking happy person that everyone expects me to be. Thats what people think of when they see me... The happy girl with the smile who has absolutely zero fucking problems in her life.
so... hey mise well just give in and be what everyone wants me to be instead of being myself. yeah cuz thatll keep everyone off my back for a little bit.
anyone wanna come pick me up and take me to their house.. go for it.. im starving to death and i need to get the hell out of here.. someone saveeee me!