Dear God...
... I hope you get this letter...
Would you consider taking back the bird-flu I seem to have contracted? It's 2am, God - and I have a full day of work ahead of me as well as 10 bouncy Girl Scouts to attend to in the evening for two hours. I need my strength! I understand that which does not kill us makes us stronger, but without my voice, I'll be unable to keep those 3rd graders from launching the nuclear warheads I know they keep stashed in their tote bags.
Also, I have to move this weekend, and because you apparently have a different "plan" for my husband (or maybe it's *his* God, I always get that confused), please send me several strong young men to carry all my stuff for me. I know I'm not supposed to ask for things for myself, so let's pretend someone is asking on my behalf, shall we? I won't tell. My 75+ year old grandparents are asking if they can help, but they're also really freakin' old and I'm not going to let them. Having my voice back would also be really wonderful for things like, switching my utilities and renting a dolly over the phone - just a thought!
Lots of love - you're the best,
Jennifer K.
XXX OOO
PS. Could you also make ibuprophen effective again? It hasn't done anything for me in months.
Would you consider taking back the bird-flu I seem to have contracted? It's 2am, God - and I have a full day of work ahead of me as well as 10 bouncy Girl Scouts to attend to in the evening for two hours. I need my strength! I understand that which does not kill us makes us stronger, but without my voice, I'll be unable to keep those 3rd graders from launching the nuclear warheads I know they keep stashed in their tote bags.
Also, I have to move this weekend, and because you apparently have a different "plan" for my husband (or maybe it's *his* God, I always get that confused), please send me several strong young men to carry all my stuff for me. I know I'm not supposed to ask for things for myself, so let's pretend someone is asking on my behalf, shall we? I won't tell. My 75+ year old grandparents are asking if they can help, but they're also really freakin' old and I'm not going to let them. Having my voice back would also be really wonderful for things like, switching my utilities and renting a dolly over the phone - just a thought!
Lots of love - you're the best,
Jennifer K.
XXX OOO
PS. Could you also make ibuprophen effective again? It hasn't done anything for me in months.