Dear God, it's long... I'm sorry...

Nov 08, 2005 13:41

NOTICE: This is an important entry, so make sure you read it at some point in the near future, if you're busy right now. I know it's long and I'm being a pain in the ass ( Read more... )

therianthropy, issues, relationships

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Re: A thought for you rustrose November 9 2005, 01:24:35 UTC
I agree with you on that, for the most part, and thank you for caring enough to bring it up. Here's some background on my particular situation:

I'm seeing a psychologist now, for the second time. In talking to me she began to think I was showing a lot of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, so she got out the DSM-IV Standards book and went through them with me, giving me further description/example of what each symptom could be presented as in real life. It sounded pretty accurate, though I wasn't really willing to admit it yet, so I did some more research on my own and mindfully studied my own emotional reactions to things and pretty much came to accept that this is probably what's going on with me. The things I'm diagnosed with were from my previous psych, who I don't feel understood me very well, and they're recurrent depression and anxiety disorder, which happen to be symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

So... I do think I'm overanalyzing myself at times, mainly when I write on here and attempt to explain myself to people who are having trouble understanding the nature of my reactions to certain things. But, I am seeing a counselor and she's the one who got me looking into this because she thinks I fit the standards for it. I'm not sure what makes up a technical diagnosis, especially seeing as I don't want to be medicated so I don't talk to a psychiatrist. My therapist is now suggesting I consider medication to treat the most obvious symptoms I have (depression and anxiety) but I'd rather consider things like different types of therapy and groups/classes before I even consider resorting to medication.

Mainly the emotional turmoil is being brought on because she's brought up this possibility of me being borderline, and I don't want to be borderline, but see the truth in what she's saying.

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Re: A thought for you shiova November 9 2005, 02:45:15 UTC
This makes more sense to me, and honestly I'm relieved to hear you are seeing someone.
That said, being borderline doesn't automatically make you a bitch and it isn't something you need to be ashamed of. It just means that like the rest of us, you have some things to work through. It isn't a big deal, and we, the people who love you, will always be there for you no matter what happens.
If you ever do need someone to talk to, please let me know if I can help. I know it isn't easy to go through these things, and please know that you are not alone in this and you never will be.
Cognitive therapy is something that generally people find helps with borderline personality disorder. Maybe talk to your therapist about that? I've heard keeping a journal where you record your feelings at any given point in time and then going back later and thinking about whether that was the right way to feel or not is helpful. Then as you discover what triggers the improper feelings, you can develop another response rather than those improper feelings (if that makes any sense).

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