Enemy Mine (1985)
I was going to post this to film_stills but ARGH SO MUCH TIME so here is part one of Enemy Mine that may or may not be continued. I love Enemy Mine! I read the novella for the first time the other week so I rewatched and regretted NOT A MOMENT. I mean, it's one of those films where I'll laugh about how crappy it is but if you say something genuinely mean I'll go all HULK SMASH or excuse myself politely then go cry in a corner. ALSO FOR SOME REASON VLC DIDN'T SAVE THE FIRST 20 MINUTES OF CAPS.
LOTS OF SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT.
SO. ENEMY MINE.
Our two heroes, Jerry the Drak, and Whatshisface the Human. YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. DAVIDGE THAT'S IT. So Davidge and Jerry are two soldiers stranded on an uninhabited planet. After a bit of scuffling, where whatshisface tries to set Jerry on fire, Jerry then takes him hostage and they go searching for shelter. Meatbag has a big idea that he's going to build a hut out of rocks. LET'S SEE HOW WELL IT TURNS OUT.
|D NOT EARTH'S FINEST HOUR.
Jerry starts learning English! He's doing pretty fracking good for a reptile who probably regulates air through his ears. He's learnt 'It's shit.', 'These are my feet', and most importantly 'That's Davidge's big ugly head'.
This bit always annoyed me as a kid. Jerry's being really good to Irkman - even though he's tried to kill Jerry more then once, he's given him food, protected him, and he's learning English really, really fast. In their first day togethor he can say 'It's shit', 'These are my feet'. They're going through body parts.
Jerry: This is my foot, this is my other foot, this is my head.
Davidge: That is your UGLY head.
Jerry: No! Davidge big ugly head. That is Davidge big ugly head!
Davidge: You'd better watch it, you lizard! Or I won't teach you English anymore.
The Drak holy book, the Talmon. Well, not really holy, it's a book on philosophy. REALLY CHEESY PHILOSOPHY.
WHEN I LEARNT THAT YOU CANNOT ACTUALLY MAKE A BOW AND ARROW OUT OF PIPES I WAS SO PISSED
Every evening Jerry reads his little book dealy and sings to himself.
Until one day whathisname starts talking trash. MICKEY MOUSE IS A DOPE.
Oh yeah and there are these crab things. TO THIS DAY I CANNOT BARE THE THOUGHT OF HELMET CRABS.
Davidge decides that what he REALLY NEEDS TO DO RIGHT NOW is go hunting on his own and fall into a suspicious whole. I'M SURE HE'S FINE
OR SOMETHING, I MEAN, IF HUMANS ARE SO GREAT YOU CAN GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS RIGHT
Whatshisface's expressions? D:> and D:<. I think a couple of times he goes
THIS ACTUALLY LOOKS REALLY PAINFUL
Haha this bit is actually pretty adorable. After the fight they just sort of lay there, in this weird sort of embrace.
Cleaning up the wound
It took both of them DAYS to realise that they didn't have to make a hut out of fucking stones.
In meatbags defense, despite having a wounded leg, he does all the work all the time without really complaining about it. I don't think I capped it but the scene before this is him running around limping picking up what must be hundreds of these shells from the forest, all with a ripped up leg.
Davidge FINALLY guts up and asks to be taught the Drakon language. YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR LIKE A WEEK WITH NOTHING ELSE TO DO.
To teach Davidge the Talmon, Jerry has to give him his copy.
I can't remember if it's in the film or not but Davidge says when he's given the Talmon 'I CAN'T READ THIS, IT'S IN DRAK' like Jerry would just carry around an English language copy of his holy book.
This sweet pointless scene is just them making a torch. TEAMWORK.
ONE OF JERRY'S CLASSIC SLEEPING POSES.
'Every night I hear a spaceship pass over our hut.'
'It's just one of your dreams, Davidge.'
Human can read Drakon now, but can he SING IT.
We don't get to find out, since it starts raining fire. CHEESE IT.
They make it back before the rainfire REALLY kicks off. I can't remember what they were argueing about but basically it results in Davidge trying to pull Jerry out of the hut, then throttling him really badly.
'I think we're going mad, Jerry'
Irkman decides that before winter kicks in, he needs to see if there's anyone else on the planet. Jerry thinks this is a dumb idea.
SHARE TIME
I thought Jerry and Davidge were falling in love at this point. They both get really, really emotional at the thought of leaving - Davidge begs Jerry to come with him, swearing that the only reason Davidge will not return to him is if he dies. YOU GUYS, URGH, YOU GUYS JUST KISS AND MAKE UP ALL RIGHT.
So Davidge leaves an emotional Jerry who has by the way been suspiciously clutching his belly, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about or whatever.
Getting really hairy now.
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SCREEN CAP EVER. The actor that plays Davidge has the DUMBEST FACE but he looks beautiful here. OR IS THAT JUST ME
FUTURE-PEPSI.
Human picks up this skull, sort of looks at it, then when he realises it's a Drak goes AGRHJSDAHJFSDHJFDV FVKFAJSV. I mean. He REALLY loses his shit. He even cries a little bit! I LOVE THAT.
Back to the hut I guess
HEY JERRY, HOW YOU BEEN. HAS SOMETHING CHANGED ABOUT YOU, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT
Jerry: Well, actually, yes, I am pregnant.
There's a really adorable bit where Davidge says 'What! How can you be pregnant? Who got you pregnant!' and Jerry goes :D at him. FOR THE RECORD, DRAK'S ARE SELF-PROPOGATING. If I were Jerry I'd have pretended we could get pregnant via touch like Kif and he was going to be a Drak daddy
Stitching up some baby PJ's.
YEP, LITTLE BABY JAMMIES FOR ZAMMIS.
NIGHTTIME SNUGGLES.
THEN SHIT GOES DOWN. I couldn't cap it because it was too dark and blurry, but basically that big monster they shot earlier in the film comes back and snags Jerry around his neck. Davidge manages to save his bud by picking up FIRE EMBERS and throwing them on the monster. It looks really, really painful.
So now the huts all monstered-up, they seek shelter in a cave. On the way, Jerry talks about the Drak heritage and how it's tradition in his family to give one of five names to their offspring; Shigan (Jerry's real name), Gothig, Ty, Haesnil and Zammis. Zammis is Jerry's baby's name.
Seriously dude picked up fire with his bare hands
Davidge recites his lineage to Jerry. Here I stand, William of the Davidge clan, son of Cyril, born of Grandpop who was probably a farmer or something.
IN THE BOOK THIS IS SO MUCH MORE HEARTWRENCHING. Jerry's tried to have a baby before, but it died, which is why Jerry was so fucking reluctant to do any work or travel long distances before; he wanted his baby to be as safe as possible, even if it meant foregoing rescue. IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME TEAR UP A LITTLE READING IT. So, maybe because of the attack, maybe because of the difficulties he had with his previous baby, Jerry realises something is wrong and he cannot birth his child alone.
Davidge is told that he has to rip the baby out. He spend a few minutes shouting at the dying Drak, begging him not to die, not to leave him alone.
And so little Zammis comes into the world.
Meatbag builds a cairn for Jerry.
Davidge realises he has no idea how to care for a baby. Zammis won't stop crying, he won't eat, won't sleep. He starts to resent everything - why was he left on this planet, alone? Why did Jerry die? Why did Jerry leave him with this thing that isn't human at all, how could he possibly connect to it? He holds a rock over the babies head, ready to end it all.
OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.
DRACS HAVE 3 FINGERS, HUMANS HAVE 5.
Zammis has an identity crisis after learning how many fingers a Drac has.
Remember that dream Irkman kept having, about the spaceship?
WELL I MEAN THIS DOESN'T LOOK IMPORTANT, I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GO HOME AND PLAY WITH MY KID.
Whatshisname tries to teach Zammis how to play wussy-man's rugby, aka, AMERICAN FOOTBALL.
Zammis gets thrown the ball. It drops at his feet but he doesn't know that he has to pick it up so he does this nervous little foot shuffle that is SO ADORABLE JFSDAKJ.CKJXCVKJNCVKJVJKVBLKJGFD'KAFSDAKSDAJ
SO THAT WAS PART ONE I GUESS. I thoroughly suggest people reading Enemy Mine! I haven't read the other two in the trilogy of the Enemy series or whatever it's called because I'm TERRIFIED it'll ruin everything I've come to assume about Draks.
LOTS OF SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT.
SO. ENEMY MINE.
Our two heroes, Jerry the Drak, and Whatshisface the Human. YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. DAVIDGE THAT'S IT. So Davidge and Jerry are two soldiers stranded on an uninhabited planet. After a bit of scuffling, where whatshisface tries to set Jerry on fire, Jerry then takes him hostage and they go searching for shelter. Meatbag has a big idea that he's going to build a hut out of rocks. LET'S SEE HOW WELL IT TURNS OUT.
|D NOT EARTH'S FINEST HOUR.
Jerry starts learning English! He's doing pretty fracking good for a reptile who probably regulates air through his ears. He's learnt 'It's shit.', 'These are my feet', and most importantly 'That's Davidge's big ugly head'.
This bit always annoyed me as a kid. Jerry's being really good to Irkman - even though he's tried to kill Jerry more then once, he's given him food, protected him, and he's learning English really, really fast. In their first day togethor he can say 'It's shit', 'These are my feet'. They're going through body parts.
Jerry: This is my foot, this is my other foot, this is my head.
Davidge: That is your UGLY head.
Jerry: No! Davidge big ugly head. That is Davidge big ugly head!
Davidge: You'd better watch it, you lizard! Or I won't teach you English anymore.
The Drak holy book, the Talmon. Well, not really holy, it's a book on philosophy. REALLY CHEESY PHILOSOPHY.
WHEN I LEARNT THAT YOU CANNOT ACTUALLY MAKE A BOW AND ARROW OUT OF PIPES I WAS SO PISSED
Every evening Jerry reads his little book dealy and sings to himself.
Until one day whathisname starts talking trash. MICKEY MOUSE IS A DOPE.
Oh yeah and there are these crab things. TO THIS DAY I CANNOT BARE THE THOUGHT OF HELMET CRABS.
Davidge decides that what he REALLY NEEDS TO DO RIGHT NOW is go hunting on his own and fall into a suspicious whole. I'M SURE HE'S FINE
OR SOMETHING, I MEAN, IF HUMANS ARE SO GREAT YOU CAN GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS RIGHT
Whatshisface's expressions? D:> and D:<. I think a couple of times he goes
THIS ACTUALLY LOOKS REALLY PAINFUL
Haha this bit is actually pretty adorable. After the fight they just sort of lay there, in this weird sort of embrace.
Cleaning up the wound
It took both of them DAYS to realise that they didn't have to make a hut out of fucking stones.
In meatbags defense, despite having a wounded leg, he does all the work all the time without really complaining about it. I don't think I capped it but the scene before this is him running around limping picking up what must be hundreds of these shells from the forest, all with a ripped up leg.
Davidge FINALLY guts up and asks to be taught the Drakon language. YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR LIKE A WEEK WITH NOTHING ELSE TO DO.
To teach Davidge the Talmon, Jerry has to give him his copy.
I can't remember if it's in the film or not but Davidge says when he's given the Talmon 'I CAN'T READ THIS, IT'S IN DRAK' like Jerry would just carry around an English language copy of his holy book.
This sweet pointless scene is just them making a torch. TEAMWORK.
ONE OF JERRY'S CLASSIC SLEEPING POSES.
'Every night I hear a spaceship pass over our hut.'
'It's just one of your dreams, Davidge.'
Human can read Drakon now, but can he SING IT.
We don't get to find out, since it starts raining fire. CHEESE IT.
They make it back before the rainfire REALLY kicks off. I can't remember what they were argueing about but basically it results in Davidge trying to pull Jerry out of the hut, then throttling him really badly.
'I think we're going mad, Jerry'
Irkman decides that before winter kicks in, he needs to see if there's anyone else on the planet. Jerry thinks this is a dumb idea.
SHARE TIME
I thought Jerry and Davidge were falling in love at this point. They both get really, really emotional at the thought of leaving - Davidge begs Jerry to come with him, swearing that the only reason Davidge will not return to him is if he dies. YOU GUYS, URGH, YOU GUYS JUST KISS AND MAKE UP ALL RIGHT.
So Davidge leaves an emotional Jerry who has by the way been suspiciously clutching his belly, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about or whatever.
Getting really hairy now.
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SCREEN CAP EVER. The actor that plays Davidge has the DUMBEST FACE but he looks beautiful here. OR IS THAT JUST ME
FUTURE-PEPSI.
Human picks up this skull, sort of looks at it, then when he realises it's a Drak goes AGRHJSDAHJFSDHJFDV FVKFAJSV. I mean. He REALLY loses his shit. He even cries a little bit! I LOVE THAT.
Back to the hut I guess
HEY JERRY, HOW YOU BEEN. HAS SOMETHING CHANGED ABOUT YOU, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT
Jerry: Well, actually, yes, I am pregnant.
There's a really adorable bit where Davidge says 'What! How can you be pregnant? Who got you pregnant!' and Jerry goes :D at him. FOR THE RECORD, DRAK'S ARE SELF-PROPOGATING. If I were Jerry I'd have pretended we could get pregnant via touch like Kif and he was going to be a Drak daddy
Stitching up some baby PJ's.
YEP, LITTLE BABY JAMMIES FOR ZAMMIS.
NIGHTTIME SNUGGLES.
THEN SHIT GOES DOWN. I couldn't cap it because it was too dark and blurry, but basically that big monster they shot earlier in the film comes back and snags Jerry around his neck. Davidge manages to save his bud by picking up FIRE EMBERS and throwing them on the monster. It looks really, really painful.
So now the huts all monstered-up, they seek shelter in a cave. On the way, Jerry talks about the Drak heritage and how it's tradition in his family to give one of five names to their offspring; Shigan (Jerry's real name), Gothig, Ty, Haesnil and Zammis. Zammis is Jerry's baby's name.
Seriously dude picked up fire with his bare hands
Davidge recites his lineage to Jerry. Here I stand, William of the Davidge clan, son of Cyril, born of Grandpop who was probably a farmer or something.
IN THE BOOK THIS IS SO MUCH MORE HEARTWRENCHING. Jerry's tried to have a baby before, but it died, which is why Jerry was so fucking reluctant to do any work or travel long distances before; he wanted his baby to be as safe as possible, even if it meant foregoing rescue. IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME TEAR UP A LITTLE READING IT. So, maybe because of the attack, maybe because of the difficulties he had with his previous baby, Jerry realises something is wrong and he cannot birth his child alone.
Davidge is told that he has to rip the baby out. He spend a few minutes shouting at the dying Drak, begging him not to die, not to leave him alone.
And so little Zammis comes into the world.
Meatbag builds a cairn for Jerry.
Davidge realises he has no idea how to care for a baby. Zammis won't stop crying, he won't eat, won't sleep. He starts to resent everything - why was he left on this planet, alone? Why did Jerry die? Why did Jerry leave him with this thing that isn't human at all, how could he possibly connect to it? He holds a rock over the babies head, ready to end it all.
OBVIOUSLY HE DOESN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.
DRACS HAVE 3 FINGERS, HUMANS HAVE 5.
Zammis has an identity crisis after learning how many fingers a Drac has.
Remember that dream Irkman kept having, about the spaceship?
WELL I MEAN THIS DOESN'T LOOK IMPORTANT, I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GO HOME AND PLAY WITH MY KID.
Whatshisname tries to teach Zammis how to play wussy-man's rugby, aka, AMERICAN FOOTBALL.
Zammis gets thrown the ball. It drops at his feet but he doesn't know that he has to pick it up so he does this nervous little foot shuffle that is SO ADORABLE JFSDAKJ.CKJXCVKJNCVKJVJKVBLKJGFD'KAFSDAKSDAJ
SO THAT WAS PART ONE I GUESS. I thoroughly suggest people reading Enemy Mine! I haven't read the other two in the trilogy of the Enemy series or whatever it's called because I'm TERRIFIED it'll ruin everything I've come to assume about Draks.